Christian Science. Марк Твен

CHAPTER VIII

       “MOTHER-CHURCH UNIQUE”

       “NO FIRST MEMBERS”

       “THE”

       A LIFE-TERM MONOPOLY

       A PERPETUAL ONE

       THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM AND SACRED CHAIR

       THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL

       PRICE OF THE PASTOR-UNIVERSAL

       SEVEN HUNDRED PER CENT.

       CHAPTER IX

       CHAPTER X

       CHAPTER XI

       CHAPTER XII

       CHAPTER XIII

       CHAPTER XIV

       CHAPTER XV

       We may take that up now.

       APPENDIX A

       ORIGINAL FIRST PREFACE TO SCIENCE AND HEALTH

       APPENDIX B

       APPENDIX C

       The following is the spiritual signification of the Lord's Prayer

       APPENDIX D

       APPENDIX E

       Reverend Heber Newton on Christian Science

       APPENDIX F

       MRS. EDDY IN ERROR

       MAIN PARTS OF THE MACHINE

       DISTRIBUTION OF THE MACHINE'S POWERS AND DIGNITIES

       CONCLUSION

PREFACE

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      Book I of this volume occupies a quarter or a third of the volume, and consists of matter written about four years ago, but not hitherto published in book form. It contained errors of judgment and of fact. I have now corrected these to the best of my ability and later knowledge.

      Book II was written at the beginning of 1903, and has not until now appeared in any form. In it my purpose has been to present a character-portrait of Mrs. Eddy, drawn from her own acts and words solely, not from hearsay and rumor; and to explain the nature and scope of her Monarchy, as revealed in the Laws by which she governs it, and which she wrote herself.

      MARK TWAIN

      NEW YORK. January, 1907.

BOOK I CHRISTIAN SCIENCE

       Table of Contents

      “It is the first time since the dawn-days of Creation that

       a Voice has gone crashing through space with such

       placid and complacent confidence and command.”

CHAPTER I

       Table of Contents

VIENNA 1899.

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      This last summer, when I was on my way back to Vienna from the Appetite-Cure in the mountains, I fell over a cliff in the twilight, and broke some arms and legs and one thing or another, and by good luck was found by some peasants who had lost an ass, and they carried me to the nearest habitation, which was one of those large, low, thatch-roofed farm-houses, with apartments in the garret for the family, and a cunning little porch under the deep gable decorated with boxes of bright colored flowers and cats; on the ground floor a large and light sitting-room, separated from the milch-cattle apartment by a partition; and in the front yard rose stately and fine the wealth and pride of the house, the manure-pile. That sentence is Germanic, and shows that I am acquiring that sort of mastery of the art and spirit of the language which enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.

      There was a village a mile away, and a horse doctor lived there, but there was no surgeon. It seemed a bad outlook; mine was distinctly a surgery case. Then it was remembered that a lady from Boston was summering in that village, and she was a Christian Science doctor and could cure anything. So she was sent for. It was night by this time, and she could not conveniently come, but sent word that it was no matter, there was no hurry, she would give me “absent treatment” now, and come in the morning; meantime she begged me to make myself tranquil and comfortable and remember that there was nothing the matter with me. I thought there must be some mistake.

      “Did you tell her I walked off a cliff seventy-five feet high?”

      “Yes.”

      “And struck a boulder at the bottom and bounced?”

      “Yes.”

      “And struck another one and bounced again?”

      “Yes.”