Название | Umseshi Obucayi. Umseshi omnandi |
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Автор произведения | СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски |
Жанр | Приключения: прочее |
Серия | |
Издательство | Приключения: прочее |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9785449802811 |
– Mdaa… kepha awubabuzi yini ngamakhala abo?
– Cha, bekungafikanga engqondweni.. – UHarutun waluka kancane ngemuva kweBoss futhi wahlafuna ulimi njengenjwayelo, – noma kunjalo, yeka! – wababaza, – yebo, ngizwe kuthiwa ugoqwe ithusi endaweni yokwamukelwa eseduze, kwathi labo – bafa esitolo sasendulo.
– Ubani, labo? – U-Ottila wama.
– Well, ukusuka endaweni yokwamukela abadlulisele esitolo sezinto zakudala.
– Futhi kukuyiphi?
– Ephakathi enkabeni, ngemuva kweKazan Cathedral.
– Ake sihambe. Futhi-ke, ngokuzumayo bayithengisa?
Babesaphuma eMos. IBana kwiNevsky Prospect. Dvizhuha. U-Ottila waya ku-anti emi emi eceleni komgwaqo wabuza:
– Futhi lapho Fuck. ISonto lamaKazan?
– Nah?
– Lokho: kutholakala.
– Awusiye owaseRussia? isivakashi noma umsebenzi wezivakashi?
– Cha. Ngingumbele.
– ngiyabona. Hamba ngeNevsky, ubheke eSigodlweni Square kanti ohlangothini lwesobunxele uzobona iSonto.
– Ngiyabonga. Impilo kuwe nasezinganeni zakho … – Ngaphambi kokuba abakwaBedbug babonge futhi bahamba ne-Incephalopath eceleni komgwaqo.
Icala liqedwe ngempumelelo. Isikhumbuzo sabuyiselwa endaweni yaso sabekwa ngaphansi kwe-alamu ne-video ukubhekwa.
AbakwaBedbug ne-Incephalopath bathola ukubonga kuMarshall ngendlela yomklomelo nokulungela ukulindela ibhizinisi elisha.
UBedbug wayehlala ehhovisi lakhe, futhi, ekhuluma no-Incefalapat, nonkosikazi nezingane, bakhuluma ngakubona okwenzeka, washiya imininingwane yokuhlazeka okwenzeka ngesikhathi kuqhubeka uphenyo. Impela, izinto ezidabukisayo zazishiywe futhi zathathelwa indawo ngezenzo zokuqamba ngobuqhawe… Ngamafuphi, bahleka nge-bang…
Case №2
ISIHLOKO BLOOD
APULAZ 1
Kwadlula iminyaka emihlanu yokuphila ngokubambisana kwepulazini ku-Ottila waqala ukudakwa ne-Intsefalapatom, ngokuqondile, wathengisa ngoKlop ngamabomu ukuze athathe umkakhe. Futhi i-Bug engqondweni, yafanelana. Yebo, futhi uMarshall akazange afone.
– Ngiyazibiza. – wajikijela isipikili ngesandla sakhe sobunxele, nesando esihlakaleni sakhe, lapho kwafakwa khona izipikili, ngesandla sakhe sokudla ukuze asisebenzise. Washaqeka yi-chime «yensimbi» futhi wethuka … – Kepha uma engithumela? – U-Ottila wahlola igceke lomuzi wakhe, lapho laliphambi kwakhe: isango elingaphambi kwakhe, okugeza ngakwesokunene nenja eqapha igceke ibheke umnikazi wayo ethukile emgodini onamathiselwe eceleni komfula.
– Polkan! Kumemeza u-Ottila. Inja yavala amehlo. – UKel, – inja yamgwaza izindlebe, – Jyat, jyat! – Inja ivale amehlo ayo ngewashi layo, – uKel Manda, Katyam James! – Inja igibele ingene emadokodweni. – Lapha, bitch! – NgesiRussia, uKlop wayecasukile. Kwacasuka, kepha akuzange kukhubeke. Ngemuva kwakho konke, abesifazane bayacasuka, futhi amadoda athukuthele, yena kanye noyise bacabanga. Kodwa wayecasukile futhi ethathe itshe elivela ocingweni lombhede wezimbali.
– Polkan. – ama-booms, athatha owesibili, futhi agoqa kuqala – Palkan!! – Boom, boom, -Polkan!!! – booms, booms, booms, – Phumani ngaphandle kwebastard!!!! – Amabheshu, ama-booms, ama-booms, ama-booms, ama-booms, njll, kuze kube yilapho amatshe asemngceleni wezimbali aphelile.
– Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! – inja ikhonkotha ezinhlungwini yakhala. Ngisho nomakhelwane bezwe izihlathi. U-Ottila wayehlala ngokweneliseka futhi ekhipha umoya-mpilo emaphashini akhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, isibuyekezo sambona ngemuva kocingo, futhi ngakwesobunxele – indlela yokungena engxenyeni yokuhlala yekhaya.
– Ottila, beza kuwe! – wamemeza esesandleni sika-Isolde. Isiphambuka saphenduka. Unkosikazi ume laqonda emnyango ongaphambili. Ukusuka ngaphansi kwesiketi, kwavele ubuso obuhle buka-Izi. Wayesevele eyishumi nesikhombisa. Futhi wamamatheka kamnandi ngamehlo eCaucasus.
– Wenzani lapho? – kubuza ubaba okhathazekile – ubaba ongizalayo.
– Well, phuma ngaphansi kwesiketi! – Washaya isandla sakhe ekhanda wanikina ikhanda kuye. UBaska wanyamalala.
– Babize lapha. U-Ottila waphendula futhi, ethatha isikhonkwane ngesandla sakhe sobunxele, waqala ukusiqondisa ngesando.
Ukude khatshana kule ndlu kwakune-eerie, buthuntu. Ngokushesha, kwavela u-Incephalopath, edonsela lesi sigebengu ngesigaxa sentambo. Wayidonsela emphemeni wayiphonsa enkabeni yegceke lasekhaya. Iselelesi sagobhoza njengebhola sangena enkabeni.
– Ubani? – ebuzwa, ebulewe yilanga u-Ottila.
– Lapha, lapha, ikhaphethi. Oooh! Uvele, apchi, esenzweni. Oooh. Oooh.
– Wenzeni? – ubuze ngokunganqikazi i-precinct.
– Yena, yena, apchi, endaweni yokulahla i-hemp rub, i-apchi, iyaqonda.
– Kanjani? – Isiphazamisi siphakamise amehlo akhe enduneni futhi ngomshini sayishaya isithupha sayo ngesando. – Ah, fuck!
– Unamanga. -I—Idot ebanjiwe ikhonjwe ngegama likaKolomiyytso, indodana kaPankrat, u-Ataman we-Local Cossacks and Conservation Conservation.
– Wena, Idot, musa ukubiza, insimu yatshalwa. Ephendukile, shaya nje. UKlop wakhonkotha.
– Yebo, angigcini! – Idot ebanzi. – «Ukukhahlela ubaba wami kuzoba njalo.» – wandizela ekhanda lakhe ecabanga.
– Kulungile, yini, sizombiza ubaba? U-Apchi, – ubuze i-Intsephalopath engenaphefumulo.
– Ngabe umhudulele endaweni engomakhelwane? U-Bedbug ubuze futhi wagwazwa ngesando, wokulinganisa isikhonkwane.
«Cha, apchi,» kusho u-Arutun Karapetovich okhukhulula ikhanda. – ulapha, endaweni yokulahla inkunkuma.
– Hhayi-ke, sizokwenzenjani? Ah, Idot?? -Ibug yasusa amazinyo ayo futhi yaphinde yahamba ngomunwe ofanayo ngesando. -… Sukuma!!! Uma ngikhuluma nawe. Ungazakhi isibungu kusuka kuwe, isinambuzane, yini, uya ezinhlelweni zakho?
– Cha. – Idot wayeka ukukhala, kodwa wayesaba.
– Wenzeni lapho? U-Ottila wabuza ngokubhuqa, edonsa izinkophe ezisekelweni zamehlo akhe futhi ezinciphisa, njengoba indoda yase-China yayinayo. – Jerking off? – Ukhiphe ukumamatheka uKlop. – Impendulo! – ngokusebenzisa i-Ottila ekhala futhi.
– Mina, ngicabanga …, shit. – U-Idot wavuma futhi wabuka u-Arutun, elinde ukuthi abulawe. Nalena, «anikine ikhanda,» Bengingumthwebulo wentamo, ngakho-ke ngangihlikihla ibhulukwe lami, anginaso isikhathi sokusula imbongolo yami, ngakho-ke ngashayisa umjondolo wamabhulukwe ami ebhulukweni. Manje kuyashisa.
U-Ottila wamgwinya.
– Ngabe umletheleni? Usazama ukubuka ikhilomitha ukusuka kuye.
– Ngakho-ke yena, apchi, ngiyonga, ngiyahlikihla …!? – kuphendule u-Intsephalopath. – Bheka izintende zezandla, i-apchi, zithwelwe nge-hash..
– … kanye shit. – wengeza i-Idot. – Angizange ngithathe iphepha nami futhi ngasula imbongolo yami ngezandla zami.
– Yisiphi isandla? UKlop ubuze ngokweqile.
– Kokubili. – Ingane eneminyaka engaba yishumi nanhlanu, enobuso besitayela nge-punk noma nge-schmuck, ihlole izintende zezandla zayo futhi ikhetha enye ye-dirtier. – yilena.
– Woza, Harutun, iphunga. – kubuza u-Ottila.
– Yini? i-apchi. – ubuzile ophethwe.
– Shaya isandla sakho bese wenza isiphetho sokuhlanzeka nesiqalo sendawo yokwakheka kwento