Название | NSOGBU SOVIET. Echiche nzu |
---|---|
Автор произведения | СтаВл Зосимов Премудрословски |
Жанр | Юмор: прочее |
Серия | |
Издательство | Юмор: прочее |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9785005091444 |
– Jide ya, jide ya Zack, ahapụkwala ruo mgbe anyị laghachiri Galupiya.
– Ee, esekwala gị okwu. – tinye akwa nke Zasratich Kazulia. – jiri nwayọ. – o gere ntị. Ndị asịrị ahụ lere ya anya. – you nụwo?
– Gịnị? – jụrụ okpokoro isi Chmor Iko.
– Stomp nke nkwonkwo mkpị. Okuku na-abịa nso. N’ofe ahụ. – o wee tụgharịa legharịa anya.
N’ebe dị anya, enwere bọl na-enwu enwu. Ka anyị na-abịaru nso, ọ bịara doo anya etu Sparrow Stasyan si jiri aka ya wepụrụ ebe ahụ. O nwetụbeghị emetụ ụwa. Ikwu nsoro ka nke dabara adaba, otu nza, tiri ya ihe site na akuku nile, ka obara ozo si na okpukpu okpukpu nke Zasratich na Cherevich Chmor Ika. Anụ ahụ nza mere. Ndị agha ahụ siri ike ma kọọ:
– Sonny!! Enweghị ahịa, site na gia ruo isiokwu!! Ihe ọ choro, ha nadybal na ihe na-enwu, na-adabaghị ntụpọ mmanụ gị!!! SUGGEST, Sonny!!!
– SUGGEST, Ndi nna!!! Cherepoktsy, Golupyan!!!! OGWU NIILE!!! – Zasratich kpochapuru ájá site na shard wee nyochaa nza ọkara nwụrụ anwụ, onye na – eku ume dị ka yogi Lama – otu nku ume kwa nkeji. – Olee ebe ndị ọzọ nọ? Ahapuru??
– Ee e, nwa nwoke. Ugbu a – kwuru nke iri. – Oh, ekwuru m okwu ọzọ!!!
– Gaa ebe a! – Zaral Zasratich.
– Oh ee. Ha kewapụrụ n’elu nke abụọ, onye ọ bụla na-ele anya ga-eweta ihe ndị ọzọ. Ebe a.
– Ọ dị mma, anyị were ya na otmazats ha…
– Arụ nke ọma!!! – tiri mkpu na Cherevich na mberede na okpokoro isi. Ọ wụliri ihe dịka mita atọ wee daa. Cherevich sụkọtara isi ya n’isi nke ọchịagha, ma bịakwute ndị agha ahụ ihe dị mkpa, ọ na-eti onye ọ bụla isi. n-Sam, Ebube ya nke na – enweghị ụlọ obibi dị elu, Generalisiphilis nke Galupov niile, Onye isi ala ya, Onye nwe elu, Semisrak ka a ga-agwa gị n’onwe gị banyere nrara ị raara onwe gị nye Ya na Galupiya dum.
– Daalụ maka onyinye ahụ a na-enyeghị onyinye, nwa nwoke! – ndị agha tiri mkpu nwayọ na tebụl ahụ ma gbaa ọtụtụ ụzọ mgbakwunye hip-hop ụzọ ise na-akụ egwu.
– Ma ugbu a.., – aka iso Cherevich. – Mgbe onye nnupụisi a!! – ma ọ rụtụrụ aka na okpokoro isi rapara na ájá, nke ọ nwara iji aka ya, dabere, ma dọpụta ya. Ndị agha ahụ, n’egbughị oge, gbabara na Cerevich, onye na-atụghị anya ya, na-egbu egbu, ma malite ịgba ya aka.
– Chere! – Casulia tiri mkpu ma nyere ndị shard aka ịpụ. – onye ozo tara Mgbochin a aghaghi ila n’enweghi nri!!
– Mana izugbe bụ nna anyị na onye ọlụlụ?! – zara ndị ọgba bọọlụ zara. – Ma nke a, dị ka nna Zasratich kwuru, ọ na-agbada azụ.
– O di nma, wetuo obi!! ebula Casulia Zack. – Ruo ugbu a, onweghị onye enyere ikike ịkagbu iwu nke Onye-nwe. Na ndị na-anọghị na ịma, m na-echetara gị … – o wee tụgharịa gaa na ọchịagha. – Ezigbo Zasratich, Onwe ya, Ebube ya enweghị Enugwu, Generalisifilis nke Galupov niile, Onye isi ala ya, Onye nwe elu, Semisrack jiri aka ya họpụta Rev. Cherevich Chmor Iko Top Wau Starost Business njem jiri aka gị mee na Nora na-enweghị nchekwa, ma gị, General Skull, chebere akụkụ nke ụlọ ọrụ anyị dum.
Ihe ọ gwara gị n’onwe gị bụ naanị ihe na-adịghị mma. Onweghi onye akaebe. Mu onwem, onye n’emebi aru, na nne gi na onye ara, ya na onye isi na onye nkuzi nke aka na nti…
– Lee anya, ọ na-ewepụ n’anya!! Ọ hụrụ otu ụzọ n’ụzọ iri wee lee anya nza, wee bulie okpokoro isi ahụ na mbara igwe ma tiwe mkpu. – Aaaaa!!! A na m ekwu ọzọ!!! Heheheyyyy!!
– Onye ka ọ bụ? jụrụ okpokoro isi, ma, buru nza, wee maa Stasyan ihu. N’ihi ụjọ, Stasyan malitere ịghọta Galupsky ozugbo.
– Abụ m Stasyan. Naanị Stasyan. – and ghara ida.
– Ọ dị mma, na drum onye ọ bụ, mana ọ na -akpata oku ma ọ ga-aga nri. Mana anyị ga-eji ya na akụnụba. Ekwekwala ka oge niile, anyị ezughi oke, yabụ ị na-achọ onye nnọchi maka ya. Ebe obu na odi, odi ndi ozo dika ya. Ọ dị mma?
– Ee, gbasara ute anyị. Ha niile zara na ndu.
Casulia rigoro na nza, nke mechara buru ibu karie ya, wee belata ụta abụọ ahụ wee nọdụ na nza, amaghị wee bido dika batrị na-enwu.
– Nọrọ ala rie nri ehihie!! o nyere iwu, ma mmadụ niile gbadara na mmata. Ọ na-agbarịta nke ọ bụla n’otu oge.
– Ma enwere m okpukpu abụọ! – kwupụtara, na-ama jijiji Cherevich Chmor Iko.
– A ga m agbaji mpi gị abụọ, – Zasratich bịarutere. – maka mgbakwunye, n’ofe ahụ, n’ọhịa… Ihe ịchọta, ihe niile bụ nke gị…
– Zeka, mana abụrụ m isi? – na-eti mkpu Cherevich
Casulia kwuru, sị, «N'ọnọdụ ndọrọ ndọrọ ọchịchị, mana ọ bụghị n’ụlọ iri nri.» – nwute, reverend.
Ndị ọzọ abịarute n’ụtụtụ ma ọ nweghị onye hụrụ ọbịbịa ha. Ha enweghị ike ịchọta ihe ọ bụla, mana ndị ọrụ ibe hapụrụ ha obere nri ha nyere. Zeka wesara ha mmerụ ahụ, n’ozuzu ha, e mesoro ha n’ụzọ nkwenye n’ụdị, ihe niile bụ masyovy, na-enweghị mkpọsa, ee, onye na-agụ m. Kipisha na iwepụta si n’akụkụ abụghị, Maza Faka Ee Wow!..
anọ apulase
Umu faka ee wow
– Maza Faka Ee Chei!.. Maza Faka Ee Chei!..
Stasyan, n’okpuru mkpu anwansi nke anụ ahụ gbara ya gburugburu, ji nwayọ bịakwute onwe ya wee teta. Ọnọdụ ya ezughị, ọkara radara, ọkara ume. O mepere anya ya wee hụ ebe mkpuchi nke na-eji nwayọọ na-agbasa, n’ihu ya enwererịrị ndepụta nke bọọlụ ịgba bọọlụ. Mgbe emeghari ọdịiche ahụ, ọ maraworị ọdịiche nke silhouette nke ihe ndị ọhụrụ dị ndụ.
– Ole ndị bụ ha, ọkpụkpụ ndị a na-enweghị nri, dị ndụ? o chere.
– Ndị a bụ Galupas. – zara olu dị n’ime ya bụ Asụsụ.
– Gịnị ọzọ bụ Galupa? – Stasyan jụrụ asụsụ Tongue.
– Kedu nke nyere gị ụbọchị tupu ụnyaahụ na ụnyaahụ na isi… N’abalị, icheta?
– Ya mere, ọ bụghị nrọ?! – o wee cheta ihe mere n’ụbọchị tupu mgbe ahụ ma n’egwu jisiri ike fepu n’elu azụ ya, isi ya gaa n’ihu, mana tufue ihe. Ọ nọ n’azụ lere onwe ya anya wee hụ nnukwu anya na-ele ya.
– Ahhhh!!! o tiri mkpu ma wụlie elu. Gbara ya gburugburu n’ụtụtụ ụtụtụ, shards, na-ekpeghachi otu ahịrịokwu ahụ: «Maza Faka Ee Wow!..»». O nyochara ma daa mba. Ohaneze wee gbue obere nza na mkpisi aka ya na-amapụ elu, nke na-akpọte Stasyan.
– Onye