A Day Like Today: Memoirs. John Humphrys

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Prologue

       In which I answer the questions in the way I choose …

      JH: Good morning. It’s ten past eight and I’m John Humphrys. With me live in the studio is … John Humphrys. It’s just been announced that he’s finally decided to leave Today after thirty-three years. Mr Humphrys, why leave it so long?

      JH: Well, as you said it’s been thirty-three years and that’s—

      JH: I know how long it’s been … far too long for the taste of many listeners, some might say. It’s because your style of interviewing has long passed its sell-by date, isn’t it?

      JH: Well I suppose some people might say that but—

      JH: You suppose some people might say that? Is it true or not?

      JH: I’m not sure it’s really up to me to pass judgement on that because—

      JH: What d’you mean you’re ‘not sure’! You either have a view on it or you don’t.

      JH: Well I do but you keep interrupting me and—

      JH: Ha! I keep interrupting you! That’s a bit rich. Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been doing to your guests on this programme for the past thirty-three years and isn’t that one of the reasons why the audience has finally had enough of you … not to mention your own bosses?

      JH: I really don’t think that’s fair. After all it was only politicians I ever interrupted and only then if they weren’t answering the question.

JH: You mean if they didn’t answer YOUR questions in the way YOU chose—

      JH: Again that’s not fair because—

      JH: Are you seriously suggesting that you didn’t approach every political interview with your own views and if the politician didn’t happen to share those views they were toast? You did your best to cut them off at the knees.

      JH: That’s nonsense. The job of the interviewer is to act as devil’s advocate … to test the politician’s argument and—

      JH: And to make them look like fools and to make you look clever. It’s just an ego trip, isn’t it?

      JH: No … and if that were really the case the politician would refuse to appear on Today. And mostly they don’t—

      JH: Ah! You say ‘mostly’, which is a weasel word if ever I heard one. Isn’t it the case that when they do refuse it’s because they know you will deny them the chance to get their message across because all you want is a shouting match?

      JH: Not at all. They’re a pretty robust bunch and I’d like to think they hide from the live microphone because they don’t want to be faced with questions that might very well embarrass them if they answer frankly and honestly.

      JH: I’m sure that’s what you’d like to think but the facts suggest otherwise don’t they? And when they do try to answer frankly, you either snort with disbelief or try to ridicule them.

      JH: Look, I wouldn’t deny that I get frustrated when the politician is simply refusing to answer the question, and I’m sure the listeners feel the same. It’s my job to ask the questions they want answered and if the politician refuses to engage or pulls the ‘I think what people really want to know …’ trick, then it’s true that occasionally I do let my irritation show.

      JH: Nonsense! The fact is you have often been downright rude and that is simply not acceptable.

JH: