The Squire Quartet. Brian Aldiss

And I’ve bloody well been apologizing to my unfaithful female!’

      In an attempt to mollify his nephew, Uncle Willie clasped Squire by his arms, and gazed at his dark face.

      ‘There now, no talk of shooting and killing people! You’re not in Yugoslavia now. It’s terrible to hear you carrying on like this at your age. I told you that renunciation was not good for the soul. You must forgive Tess – she wants to come back, despite everything.’

      ‘Take your hands away, Uncle. I’m not going to forgive her for your asking. Indeed, I’m not sure I can forgive her at all, after the way she went at me for a lesser offence.’

      ‘Well, dear boy, the same offence, the same offence. Be fair.’

      ‘I’ve told you why I think infidelity is a lesser offence in men. I don’t care what the libbers say – it’s subscribing to silly wishy-washy ideas like that, or opposing nuclear energy, or believing communism can solve human problems, which has got the country into its present rotten position. In any case, she’s now going to come running to me for money to bale her and her lover out of trouble, isn’t she?’

      ‘It’s nothing to do with me, is it? Be reasonable.’

      ‘I won’t give her a penny, he can pay up or bloody well be declared bankrupt. Imprisoned, with luck.’

      More shaking of the avuncular head. ‘I have advised Teresa on financial matters, I admit, and the position as far as I understand it – which isn’t far, by the way – is that you, her legal husband, are responsible for her debts …’

      Squire looked round wildly, as if hoping to see a pair of loaded duelling pistols hanging conveniently on the wall.

      ‘There’s no way in which I will take the bitch back or settle her debts for money squandered on behalf of that nasty little sneak, Jarvis. When I think of the way she has humiliated me …’

      They heard the distant chime of the front-door bell.

      ‘That – that may be Teresa now,’ Uncle Willie said. ‘Tom, my dear boy, I know this is most upsetting for you, and I’d have felt just the same in your position, once upon a time. But please don’t make a scene in someone else’s house.’

      ‘Why not, for God’s sake? Ron’s only my bloody publisher, isn’t he?’

      Squire went to the study door, flung it open, and advanced along the passage. He paused before entering the front hall, gathering himself, checked at the sound of his wife’s voice, that familiar voice so poignant that his anger faded before it. She was explaining something to Belinda.

      ‘… and then there was a bomb scare at Heathrow and we all had to be searched …’ Hearing her voice, he recalled her once-and-eternal innocence.

      He continued into the hall. Beyond Belinda’s plump back, he saw his wife, wrapped in a shortie Swedish coat with hat to match and looking tall in crimson high-heeled boots; with her stood a young man, grinning slightly, in a Russian-type fur hat and ankle-length grey tweed coat. Whiskery sideboards made a pincer movement across his cheeks, in an attempt to cut off his nose from his mouth. It was Jarvis.

      Squire had not expected that. He stopped as Teresa saw him.

      ‘Oh, darling, there you are!’ cried Teresa. ‘We are so late, I thought you’d be gone.’ She moved towards him in a tentative way: so tentatively that Jarvis, also coming forward, overtook her, sticking out a boney hand.

      ‘Glad to see you again, Mr Squire. I’ve been taking care of Teresa.’ He smiled with all the teeth at his command. ‘What a journey we’ve had!’

      So overcome was Squire by this effrontery that he accepted the hand before realizing it. The touch of it immediately roused him and he withdrew his own.

      ‘So you’re the creature who’s been fooling around with my wife and sneaking into my home when I was away! Get out immediately!’

      Jarvis opened his mouth rather wide and stuck his fists on his hips.

      ‘If you’re going to be unfriendly, two can play that game.’

      ‘Don’t you dare make trouble here, Tom,’ Teresa said.

      ‘Oh, don’t mind us,’ Belinda said, closing the front door. ‘Feel at home.’

      Squire said, ‘Teresa, you’re mad bringing this fellow here!’

      ‘Don’t you order me to get out, Mr Squire,’ Jarvis said, his confidence returning. ‘It’s not your place any more than it is mine. I’ve got every right to be here. I’m looking after your wife, and so what? You weren’t so much of a success in that line, gallivanting round the world.’

      He showed signs of continuing his discourse, but Belinda said coolly, ‘You do not have as much right to be here as Mr Squire, young man, whatever your name is. Just for the record, Mr Squire was invited here and is our guest. You were not invited and you are not our guest.’

      ‘Belinda! I was going to introduce you. Vernon has brought me all the way back from Malta. We’ve been travelling for hours …’ Teresa looked close to tears.

      ‘No doubt he took you all the way to Malta, too,’ said Belinda. Ron Broadwell appeared in time to hear this last exchange.

      ‘Any trouble?’ he asked.

      ‘Ron, this fellow has the impertinence to turn up here with my wife on his arm. I shall not stay if he does. You’ve arrived with her, Jarvis, you can take her away again – back to Malta, for all I care.’

      Jarvis said, ‘If you weren’t old enough to be my father, I’d bash your face in.’

      ‘You can try if you like. You’d get a few surprises.’

      ‘For two pins I would, you self-satisfied—’

      Broadwell moved forward, his bulk making the advance an impressive sight. ‘I’m not having an intruder spoiling our evening. You must make up your own mind what you are doing, Teresa. Of course, you’re welcome to stay on your own.’

      Teresa stamped her foot and shook her fists. ‘My God, Tom, how you disgrace me – in front of friends. Vern only wanted to be your friend …’

      Turning to Jarvis, Broadwell said, ‘You aren’t welcome here. Get out and go home. Close the door behind you. Go on, vamoose!’

      Glaring angrily at her husband, Teresa said, ‘We came here in perfect innocence. I wasn’t going to turn Vern away after all our troubles today. You ought to try Alitalia some time. I knew it was the wrong day to travel; the stars were against it, but I wanted to see you on New Year’s Eve. Now you show how little you care, telling Vern to take me away, treating me—’

      He had swung away in disgust, but now he turned back. ‘What did you want to see me for, Teresa? You’ve shown no inclination these last months. I suppose you want to borrow money?’

      She grasped Jarvis’s arm. ‘I’m sorry, Vern, I didn’t mean to drag you into this. He always tries to humiliate me. I loved and trusted you once, Tom. As for you, Belinda, I knew you were never a friend of mine—’

      ‘Oh, yes, I was,’ Belinda said sharply. ‘I was a good friend of yours, because I’ve never hinted to you that not for one moment did I think you did at all a good job of being Tom’s wife. Now you’ve found someone of your own kind, perhaps Tom can find someone to make him happier. That’s what we all hope.’

      Ron laid a hand on his wife’s arm. She glared like a cat about to pounce, and then put an arm round him.

      ‘Such fun to be totally honest for once,’ she said: ‘Sorry, Teresa.’

      But Teresa had already turned back to her husband. ‘You of all people accusing Vernon of fooling around with me behind your back. Why can’t I invite him home? He only came for coffee and a business chat. I’ll invite in who I like. I wanted him to see my work. I’m not