I Need You. Jane Lark

turned to walk parallel to the waves. His arm came around me. The weight of his hand on my shoulder. Frickin’ tears started falling again. He pulled me against him as we walked. The world span.

      I needed to be held and loved. The feeling rippled through my nerves. It was that feeling that had made me let him do it in the SUV. Jason had been miles away in New York.

      I pulled free of Billy and moved away, walking along in the last ripples of the waves. The water was freezing, numbing my feet. Like life had numbed my soul.

      My belly did a queasy turn as I looked down at the water. The sky had turned a deeper, darker blue. It was getting dark. The sun had nearly disappeared. I felt a bit drunk now.

      “Why am I so bad at doing it?” I looked over at Billy.

      The douche laughed again.

      I lifted my hand to hit him with my sandals, but he grabbed my wrist, meeting my glare with a look that said, no way.

      “Lashing out is a habit you need to get out of, Lind.”

      Maybe it was, but it was a good way to vent everything I felt. I growled at him, snarling.

      He laughed openly, but then he bent and––

      Frick! The guy picked me up like a fireman, so I dangled over his massive shoulder. My belly revolted. “Billy! Billy!”

      He started walking back up the beach, in the direction of our apartments.

      “Billy!”

      Nausea rolling through me, I smacked his ass with my sandals. “Billy put me down, I feel sick!”

      He still didn’t.

      “Billy!”

      He just kept walking, laughter rumbling in his chest. “I’m sorting you out once and for all girl.”

      A guy we passed gave me an odd look. Billy was flashing my panties at the other people on the beach.

      “Put me down! I’m gonna be sick, Billy!” I screamed this time. He didn’t stop. My belly lurched. “If you don’t, I’m gonna be sick all down your back!” I was desperate now.

      He stopped. I think he’d got the message.

      He slid me off his shoulder, lowering me carefully.

      I didn’t stop to rant. I was going to be sick. Oh, I felt bad.

      I turned and ran. My head pounded out a message that I’d drunk too much.

      I really was gonna be sick.

      When I got to my apartment, I swiped my key, shoved the door open and ran for the bathroom.

      When Billy came in, I was on my knees leaning over the toilet bowl. Happy pills, cocktails and being tipped upside down really didn’t mix.

      “You okay? Dumb question, you’re obviously not. Shit.” He turned, filling a glass with water as I kept retching.

      His hand settled on my back when I finished. Then there was a tumbler of water in my hand. I didn’t drink it. I was sweating and shivery and I felt awful. He took it back out my hand and put it on the floor. Then as I just collapsed over the toilet bowl, he sat on the bathroom floor across the room, with his back against the tiles.

      “Lindy?”

      I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk.

      “Are those your pills?” He was looking up at a shelf over the sink.

      I grunted and was sick again.

      He got up, picked them up looked at how many were there and then read the packet. “You’re not meant to drink alcohol with these…”

      Yeah, I knew that. My head had a hammer in it reminding me, and I was throwing up in the pan.

      When I finished this time, there was a cold washcloth pressed into my hand. “I’ll stay in your room tonight. Make sure you’re okay.”

      I didn’t say anything. I felt too sick to care.

       Lindy

      When I woke the sunlight in the room hurt my eyes and I blinked a dozen times. Billy had picked me up in the bathroom and carried me to bed last night. I must have fallen asleep leaning on the toilet.

      He came into focus. He sat on the bed, wearing the same cargo shorts and t-shirt.

      “Can I have a glass of water?”

      “Here.” There was one beside the bed. He just reached for it and handed it to me as I sat up.

      I sipped it, watching him.

      “You talk in your sleep.”

      “Great. What did I say?”

      Not answering, he got up and pulled his cell out of his back pocket, looking at something on it, as his thumb moved the screen and kept tapping it.

      “Billy, what are you doing?”

      “Give me a minute.” He didn’t look at me.

      I sat up properly, sipping the water again. He still didn’t look at me. “What, Billy?”

      “I said give me a minute…”

      A smile touched my lips. We could argue, and we had argued, but there had never been anything underlying or hidden between us, well not until we’d done it in his SUV. But even then, he’d still met up with me a couple of days later, and we’d still got on okay. With Billy you got what you saw.

      Since Jason had dumped me, I’d spent hours wondering how long he’d wanted to dump me. He’d gone to New York to get away from me. But he hadn’t had the balls to tell me… Last night Billy had come right out and told me how he’d been feeling––

      “Here.” He threw his cell on the bed and pointed at it. “I’m gonna go down to the gym. You take a look at that.” His cheeks were scored with pink, like he was embarrassed.

      “Billy?”

      “You’ve been moaning half the night about how bad sex is. That’s your answer.”

      “What?”

      “I looked up a website for you. How to jerk yourself off. You don’t need a guy, Lind. Learn to do it yourself.”

      Oh my God. “Billy!” That was crazy. Now my cheeks burned. I put the water down. “What did Jason tell you?!”

      “Jason didn’t tell me anything. You said it all in your sleep, and last night.”

      “Liar. He told you I’d never had one didn’t he?” There was a mirror on the wall across the room. I caught sight of my face. My makeup had run. I looked awful. I hated seeing myself in mirrors.

      “Jason didn’t say anything! I told him you hadn’t wanted to do it with me, you’d been thinking of him. That’s all.”

      Frick… could he make me more embarrassed? It was like being whipped. “And Jason, said!”

      Billy bent down his hands settling on the mattress either side of me, his dark-blue gaze striking mine. “I swear, he never said anything. But his eyebrows lifted. So after your night’s babbling I guess it wasn’t much better with him…”

      I was gonna slap him, but he caught my wrist. “Lind, leave off the slapping or I’ll tip you over my shoulder again and this time I’ll just throw you in the shower to cool your temper down.”

      But I had good reason to be angry. “I can’t believe you two were talking about me!” I tried to yank my arm free but he wouldn’t let go. “Billy!”

      I pulled again and nearly fell back when he let go. He caught my arm again. ”Lindy. I looked it up so you don’t have to. I didn’t want you to come across anything you wouldn’t want to see––”

      “And