Crazy in Love at the Lonely Hearts Bookshop. Annie Darling

that she should be something less.

      ‘You know what, let’s call it quits,’ she said, which was very reasonable of her.

      ‘Why should we do that? I’ll get you a drink,’ Steven offered but it sounded very ungracious, like he was doing Nina a huge favour. ‘Then you can make it up to me.’

      Make what up to him? For failing to have the words I’M NOT A SIZE EIGHT emblazoned on her profile? And how exactly did Steven think she was going to make amends for this dreadful oversight? Well, his eyes had barely left her boobs for the last five minutes so Nina had a pretty clear idea.

      ‘I’m very good at making up,’ she purred, fluttering her eyelashes at Steven, whose upper lip glistened even more. ‘You go and get me a vodka tonic, a large one, while I powder my nose.’

      Steven had the nerve – the sheer nerve! – to pat Nina on the bottom and that was maybe his fifth strike, she’d lost count of just how many strikes, which was why she didn’t go through the door marked Ladies but carried on down the hall until she came to a door marked Private, which she knocked on.

      It was opened by a burly, middle-aged man in a One Direction T-shirt who didn’t look surprised to see Nina. ‘Operation Frog?’ he asked.

      ‘Operation Frog,’ Nina confirmed. ‘I could kiss him from now until the end of eternity and he’d never be anything but a total arsehole.’

      ‘Say no more, my love,’ said Chris, landlord of the Thornton Arms and self-styled saviour of any customer on a bad date. ‘Follow me.’

      He led Nina further down the hall to a door, which he unlocked so Nina could sneak out the back while Steven was still waiting to order her very large vodka and tonic.

      ‘You’re a real gent, Chris,’ she said gratefully, because this wasn’t the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last, that Chris had come to her rescue. ‘I owe you one.’

      ‘You owe me more than one,’ Chris said with a grin. ‘Time you settled down with a nice bloke.’

      Nina pulled a face. ‘I don’t want to settle down with a nice bloke. I want nothing less than mad, passionate love with a man who’d give me the moon and stars if I asked for them.’

      ‘Good luck with that, sweetheart.’ Chris shook his head then pulled the door shut behind her.

      Nina took her phone out of her coat pocket so she could block Steven. She was still logged into HookUpp, the app pinging to let her know there were matches close by, and for a moment, Nina was tempted. The night was still young, after all, and it wasn’t as if she was getting any younger. Or she could go back to the tapas bar and maybe have another crack at Javier. Perhaps she’d written him off too quickly.

      Or she could just go home. She was only around the corner from Happy Ever After and, as if they had a mind of their own, her feet were swinging left and down Rochester Street then into Rochester Mews. Nina sighed as she tapped the security code into the panel of the electric gate that prevented undesirables from gaining access to the mews after hours.

      Then it was an unsteady, vertiginous wobble across the cobblestones towards Happy Ever After. The shop was in darkness and Nina didn’t bother to turn on the lights as she locked the door behind her then gratefully eased off her shoes.

      She padded across the main room, past the shop counter to the door that led to the stairs. There were no lights on upstairs but that didn’t necessarily mean that Verity was staying over at Johnny’s again. She could be home and doing yoga, which she preferred to do by candlelight. Or she could be reading, which was another quiet activity and one she could easily abandon to listen to Nina spin an amusing yarn about her adventures this evening.

      ‘Very? Are you in?’ Nina called out as she climbed the stairs. ‘Had a lucky escape from a total loser tonight. He had the worst hair plugs of anyone I’ve ever seen.’

      ‘Roooowwwwwrrrrrrrr!’ came the plaintive reply, not from Verity, but Strumpet, Verity’s obese, needy cat who waited for Nina to get to the top of the stairs then hurled himself at her shins.

      ‘Mr Strumpet! Did she leave you home alone?’ Nina hefted Strumpet into her arms, nearly giving herself a hernia in the process, and padded down the hall to the kitchen wearing Strumpet like he was a fur stole.

      There was a note pinned to the fridge. ‘Hey Nina, probably going to stay at Johnny’s tonight. Strumpet has already been fed, despite what he might tell you. Be good. See you tomorrow. Very xxx’

      It was only a short time ago that Verity and Posy, with a bit of nagging, could be persuaded to go out with Nina. And now it wasn’t even nine o’clock on a Wednesday evening and Posy was snuggled up with her husband, and Verity was sharing sofa space (she really wasn’t the snuggling sort) with her extremely eligible handsome architect boyfriend. And where did that leave Nina?

      While she would rather die than become a smug married, it would be wonderful to have someone to come home to. And God, a passion-filled all-nighter with her Heathcliff-alike would absolutely hit the spot right now. Instead, Nina’s companion for the night was a chubby, demanding cat, like she was a spinstery crazy cat lady, with nothing to do but put on her pyjamas, ferret in the fridge for some leftovers and catch up on the latest episode of Tattoo Fixers.

      It was less Wuthering Heights and more the absolute pits.

      

      ‘But I begin to fancy you don’t like me.’

      Though Nina was very fond of saying ‘I can sleep when I’m dead’ every time any of her friends, especially Verity who was evangelical about eight hours of shut-eye, remonstrated with her about burning the candle at both ends, there was a lot to be said for an early night.

      She’d been in bed by an unprecedented half past ten and woke up the next morning before her alarm. It was quite a revelation that getting showered, dressed and made-up could be done in a leisurely fashion, and when Verity finally came home from staying the night at Johnny’s, she did a double-take to see Nina sitting in the kitchen, lingering over toast and jam and her first cup of coffee of the day.

      ‘Morning, Very!’ Nina picked up the cafetière. ‘Do you want a cup?’

      Verity goggled at her. ‘What is going on here?’ she asked in a bewildered fashion. ‘Did you stay out all night?’

      ‘I beg your pardon!’ Nina gasped, like she was affronted at the notion that the only reason she was up was because she hadn’t gone to bed. ‘The very idea! Not like you, you dirty stop-out!’

      It was Verity’s turn to gasp in outrage. ‘I’m not a dirty stop-out. I’m in a loving, committed relationship, thank you very much.’

      Half an hour later when Posy arrived for work, Nina took great delight in opening the shop door for her with much ceremony and a chirpy, ‘Posy! You’re five minutes late! No need to worry though, I’ve already signed for a couple of deliveries and done the till float.’

      Posy put a hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. ‘Oh God, I must be hallucinating. Are you really Nina?’

      Nina nodded. ‘I’m a new, improved Nina who had an early night.’

      ‘I always knew this day would come,’ Posy said with a grin, nudging Nina. ‘If you continue to be new and improved, I might have to promote you to deputy manager, then you could open the shop every day and I could have a bit of a lie-in.’

      ‘I’m pretty sure that come tomorrow, I’ll revert back to Nina version one,’ Nina decided and then Posy pretended to cry and it set a jokey mood for the morning, which was just as well, because the day was grey and drizzly, yet again, and the shop