Название | All About Me: Loving a narcissist |
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Автор произведения | Simon Crompton |
Жанр | Общая психология |
Серия | |
Издательство | Общая психология |
Год выпуска | 0 |
isbn | 9780007585977 |
Freud categorised different stages of the child’s development, and different types of personality, according to what happened to children during these vital developmental states. He called these libidinal types. According to Freud, the libido is a type of instinctive energy that all human beings have when they are born – a type of life force, if you like. This goes through various phases as we mature, determining people’s personalities as it develops. According to what happened during childhood, people are either more or less likely to develop the attributes of certain libidinal types – either getting stuck at one point in the libido’s development, or moving on to the next.3
Freud came up with three libidinal types, or personality groups. Each group, as a result of their upbringing, has a very different reaction to the ‘socialising’ forces we encounter as we grow up. None of us should look to conform too neatly to these types, but they do usefully reflect the fact that we all respond to situations of stress, love and society quite differently. There have been other groupings of personality type put together by psychologists, but Freud’s categories neatly capture some of the most distinctive traits of narcissists.
So here are the three types, with some of the characteristics Freud attributed to them. Below each are ten key questions, which may help you pinpoint which one applies to you or your partner. Tick each point that applies to you, or to the person you are answering on behalf of.
The erotic
This group is highly focused on love: loving, but more importantly being loved, is the most important thing in their life. They are governed by the dread of loss of love, which makes them very dependent on those who may withhold love from them.
The obsessional
Rather than being dependent on the people around them, as erotics are, people in this group are very self-reliant, and are guided by worries about what might be the right thing to do. They are naturally conservative, sticklers for detail, and upholders of existing institutions rather than innovators.
The narcissistic
Love is not a prime influence for members of this group – their main interest is self-preservation. Narcissists are independent and not easily overawed. They can strike others as being ‘personalities’ and often want to change things radically.
INTERPRETING THE RESULTS
You may well find that you (or the person you are answering on behalf of) don’t clearly fall into one category – you’re most likely to have a personality that bestrides two of these groups. This is typical. Mixed types are far more common than pure types – reflecting the fact that human beings aren’t easily classifiable caricatures. Freud commented that erotic-obsessionals, erotic-narcissists,