Behind the Beyond, and Other Contributions to Human Knowledge. Stephen Leacock

Gatherson has been most kind. They will take him into the embassy at Lima. There, please God, he can begin life again. The Peruvian Ambassador has promised to do all in his power."

      Sir John sighs deeply and is silent. This to let the fact soak into the audience that Jack has gone to Peru. Any reasonable person would have known it. Where else could he go to?

      "He will do well in Peru," says Mrs. Harding. She is imitating a woman being very brave.

      "Yes, I trust so," says Sir John. There is silence again. In fact the whole third act is diluted with thirty per cent. of silence. Presently Mrs. Harding speaks again in a low tone.

      "You have other news, I know."

      "I have other news."

      "Of her?"

      "Yes. I have been to Switzerland. I have seen the curé—a good man. He has told me all there is to tell. I found him at the hospice, busy with his œuvre de bienfaisance. He led me to her grave."

      Sir John is bowed in deep silence.

      Lady Cicely dead! Everybody in the theater gasps. Dead! But what an unfair way to kill her! To face an open death on the stage in fair hand to hand acting is one thing, but this new system of dragging off the characters to Switzerland between the acts, and then returning and saying that they are dead is quite another.

      Presently Mrs. Harding speaks, very softly. "And you? You will take up your work here again?"

      "No; I am going away."

      "Going?"

      "Yes, far away. I am going to Kafoonistan."

      Mrs. Harding looks at him in pain. "To Kafoonistan?"

      "Yes. To Kafoonistan. There's work there for me to do."

.       .       .       .       .       .       

      There is silence again. Then Sir John speaks. "And you? You will settle down here in London?"

      "No. I am going away."

      "Going away?"

      "Yes, back to Balla Walla. I want to be alone. I want to forget. I want to think. I want to try to realize."

      "You are going alone?"

      "Yes, quite alone. But I shall not feel alone when I get there. The Maharanee will receive me with open arms. And my life will be useful there. The women need me; I will teach them to read, to sew, to sing."

      "Mrs. Harding—Margaret—you must not do this. You have sacrificed your life enough—you have the right to live–"

      There is emotion in Sir John's tone. It is very rough on him to find his plan of going to Kafoonistan has been outdone by Mrs. Harding's going to Balla Walla. She shakes her head.

      "No, no; my life is of no account now. But you, John, you are needed here, the country needs you. Men look to you to lead them."

      Mrs. Harding would particularize if she could, but she can't just for the minute remember what it is Sir John can lead them to. Sir John shakes his head.

      "No, no; my work lies there in Kafoonistan. There is a man's work to be done there. The tribes are ignorant, uncivilized."

      This dialogue goes on for some time. Mrs. Harding keeps shaking her head and saying that Sir John must not go to Kafoonistan, and Sir John says she must not go to Balla Walla. He protests that he wants to work and she claims that she wants to try to think clearly. But it is all a bluff. They are not going. Neither of them. And everybody knows it. Presently Mrs. Harding says:

      "You will think of me sometimes?"

      "I shall never forget you."

      "I'm glad of that."

      "Wherever I am, I shall think of you—out there in the deserts, or at night, alone there among the great silent hills with only the stars overhead, I shall think of you. Your face will guide me wherever I am."

      He has taken her hand.

      "And you," he says, "you will think of me sometimes in Balla Walla?"

      "Yes, always. All day while I am with the Maharanee and her women, and at night, the great silent Indian night when all the palace is asleep and there is heard nothing but the sounds of the jungle, the cry of the hyena and the bray of the laughing jackass, I shall seem to hear your voice."

      She is much moved. She rises, clenches her hands and then adds, "I have heard it so for five and twenty years."

      He has moved to her.

      "Margaret!"

      "John!"

      "I cannot let you go, your life lies here—with me—next my heart—I want your help, your love, here inside the beyond."

      And as he speaks and takes her in his arms, the curtain sinks upon them, rises, falls, rises, and then sinks again asbestos and all, and the play is over. The lights are on, the audience rises in a body and puts on its wraps. All over the theater you can hear the words "perfectly rotten," "utterly untrue," and so on. The general judgment seems to be that it is a perfectly rotten play, but very strong.

      They are saying this as they surge out in great waves of furs and silks, with black crush hats floating on billows of white wraps among the foam of gossamer scarfs. Through it all is the squawk of the motor horn, the call of the taxi numbers and the inrush of the fresh night air.

      But just inside the theater, in the office, is a man in a circus waistcoat adding up dollars with a blue pencil, and he knows that the play is all right.

      FAMILIAR INCIDENTS

      I.—With the Photographer

      "I  WANT my photograph taken," I said. The photographer looked at me without enthusiasm. He was a drooping man in a gray suit, with the dim eye of a natural scientist. But there is no need to describe him. Everybody knows what a photographer is like.

      "Sit there," he said, "and wait."

      I waited an hour. I read the Ladies Companion for 1912, the Girls Magazine for 1902 and the Infants Journal for 1888. I began to see that I had done an unwarrantable thing in breaking in on the privacy of this man's scientific pursuits with a face like mine.

      After an hour the photographer opened the inner door.

      "Come in," he said severely.

      I went into the studio.

      "Sit down," said the photographer.

      I sat down in a beam of sunlight filtered through a sheet of factory cotton hung against a frosted skylight.

      The photographer rolled a machine into the middle of the room and crawled into it from behind.

      He was only in it a second,—just time enough for one look at me,—and then he was out again, tearing at the cotton sheet and the window panes with a hooked stick, apparently frantic for light and air.

      Then he crawled back into the machine again and drew a little black cloth over himself. This time he was very quiet in there. I knew that he was praying and I kept still.

      When the photographer came out at last, he looked very grave and shook his head.

      "The face is quite wrong," he said.

      "I know," I answered quietly; "I have always known it."

      He sighed.

      "I think," he said, "the face would be better three-quarters full."

      "I'm sure it would," I said enthusiastically, for I was glad to find that the man had such a human side to him. "So would yours. In fact," I continued, "how many faces one sees that are apparently hard, narrow, limited, but the minute you get them three-quarters full they get wide, large, almost boundless in–"

      But the photographer had ceased to listen. He came over and took my head in his hands and twisted it sideways. I thought he meant to kiss me, and I closed my eyes.

      But I was wrong.

      He twisted my face as far as it would go and then stood looking