The Nanny's Christmas Wish. Ami Weaver

It hit him midthigh. “This one!” he said with glee.

      Maggie smiled and pretended to slap her forehead. “Of course that’s yours. What was I thinking? Are you ready to help me clean it out?” She wrangled it onto the newspaper. Despite sitting in the house for the better part of the day, its smooth skin was cold under her hands. “Whew! This is awfully heavy, Cody. I bet it has a lot of seeds. Let’s see, okay?”

      Cody did a little dance. “Yeah! I want to see.”

      Josh reentered the kitchen. She looked up and managed to hold on to her smile when she took stock of him. Faded jeans, worn T-shirt, bare feet. She managed not to lick her lips and forced her attention back to the task at hand. “You’re just in time.”

      He held her gaze just a fraction too long, then dropped away. She was afraid she’d glimpsed regret in his gaze. For what? He cleared his throat. “That’s good. I’m glad I made it. I wouldn’t want to miss this. Can I help?”

      “Yes.” She held out her hand, pleased it stayed steady, in mock imitation of a surgeon. “Scalpel, please.”

      His mouth twitched as he grabbed the pumpkin-carving tool off the counter and slapped it in her palm. “Check.”

      She plunged the tool into the top of the pumpkin and sawed it around the crown. The rich, fresh scent of the fruit rose up and little bits of the shell went flying. Cody watched, leaning on his father, eyes huge. When she whipped the top off with a triumphant flourish, Josh grinned and nudged Cody.

      “She doesn’t mess around, does she?”

      Cody grinned back. “Can we carve it now?”

      Maggie shook her head. “We have to clean it out, remember?” She tipped the pumpkin toward him. “Look at all the seeds. Let’s get them out of here. You want to help? Then you and your dad can start carving.”

      Cody kneeled beside her and she handed him a pasta spoon with a smile. He returned her smile, then said softly, “I want to carve it with you.”

      Maggie couldn’t breathe, caught in the little boy’s earnest bright blue eyes. Tears burned in her throat as her gaze flew to Josh, who wore a small smile, then back to his son. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at her nephew. “Then we’d better get cracking, don’t you think?”

      * * *

      Later that night Maggie sat on the front porch step, bathed in the glow of the orange twinkle lights strung on the porch railing. The full moon’s silvery cast provided additional light. She pulled a soft fleece throw tighter around her shoulders to ward off the evening chill. The carved pumpkins, all three of them, flickered at her feet.

      Progress. She’d made it tonight with Cody. He’d wanted to give her a hug—finally—before he went to bed. A little shiver of joy slipped through her. She could still feel those strong little-boy arms around her neck.

      From a nanny point of view, she figured he finally felt comfortable with her. That was a huge step, one she’d been waiting anxiously for. From the auntie point of view—well, he’d hugged her. A small smile tugged at her lips and she tipped her head up to look at the stars. What could be better?

      Behind her the door opened and closed with a soft snick. She tensed as Josh eased himself down beside her, and willed the totally inappropriate warmth away. Being his employee was enough to make him off-limits. She couldn’t afford to make that mistake again.

      Being her former brother-in-law sent it out of the park.

      “I think you won Cody over tonight,” he said, his words accompanied with a puff of breath on the chilly air.

      Pleasure slid through her and she smiled. “Not many kids, especially little boys, can resist the opportunity to get slimy.”

      “True.” He draped his forearms on his knees with a low chuckle that heated Maggie in places she didn’t want to name. “For some of us, it never goes away.”

      She laughed, started to rise. Best not to be out here with him too long. “Boys will be boys, I guess. Well, it’s late. I’m going to head in.”

      He reached out and snagged her wrist. Her nerve endings briefly sizzled and she resisted the urge to yank her arm away. Her gaze locked on his. Even in the dim light she saw pain and pleading there. Her breath caught.

      “Stay. Please. For a minute. If you’re cold we can go in. I just— I want to tell you a little bit about Cody’s mom. About what happened.”

      Maggie stopped breathing. She sank back down carefully, as if moving too fast would shatter the moment and send it skittering out of her reach, like marbles on a hard floor.

      “Okay,” she said, relieved her voice sounded normal. She chanced a peek at him, saw in the soft light the hard set of his jaw. She could almost feel the waves of tension rolling off him. Her belly clenched in response and she linked her fingers together tightly to keep them from shaking.

      He scrubbed a hand over his face and Maggie held her breath, afraid to give away how badly she wanted to know. Why she wanted to know.

      “This is hard,” he admitted, his voice rough. “I don’t talk about Lucy much. A lot happened after her death.” He stared down at the step, seeming to wrestle with something internally, and Maggie’s heart cracked. “I won’t burden you with the details. Suffice it to say her parents blamed me. But whatever our issues were, Lucy loved Cody. More than anything. She was a good mom. When I realized she wasn’t going to make it after the—the accident, I promised her I’d put Cody first, before anything and everything else. I don’t know if she heard me, but it’s a promise I’ve honored for almost four years. It’s the least I can do for her. And for Cody.”

      Maggie swallowed. She heard both the warning and the regret in his voice. He’d made a vow and intended to keep it. She could understand and respect that, and she would. But still, there was no blame here.

      She laid her hand on his arm and tried for diplomacy. “Josh, it’s not your fault she died. How could they think that?” A snowy night, the newspaper article had said, and the car hit a tree. Lucy had been the only occupant in the vehicle.

      In the cold wash of the silver moon, she saw his features go even harder. The rough wool of his jacket scraped her hand when he pulled his arm away and stood up. “Because it’s the truth.” The rawness in his voice sliced across her soul. “Her family wants nothing to do with me. Sad to say, it’s mutual. I’m sorry I brought it up, Maggie. Not sure what I was thinking. Forget I said anything.”

      Maggie squeezed her eyes shut against the burn of tears as he crossed the porch and closed the door behind him with a slight bang. She dropped her head to her knees as the tears made hot tracks down her cold cheeks.

      Her family wants nothing to do with me.

      Her stomach rolled, both at the words and the pain behind them. What a horrible situation for all of them. Her heart ached.

      A terrible thought hit her. He wanted nothing to do with Lucy’s family. If he found out she was technically family...

      He’d fire her and she’d lose her only connection to Cody and Lucy.

      She sucked in a breath, the chilly air burning her lungs, and swiped at her wet cheeks. Her secret, and the choice she’d made to keep it, weighed on her more than ever. She’d made a hell of a mess of her good intentions.

      Where did she go from here?

      * * *

      Josh avoided Maggie as much as possible over the next few days, given they lived in the same house. That she cared for his son. That they ate meals together. It made things a little tricky but it was better than examining why he’d felt compelled to try and explain the whole Lucy thing.

      How I failed her. Though he figured he’d made that pretty clear.

      On the other hand, hadn’t he intended to make clear why he was off-limits? Not that she’d pushed anything. He