No Surrender. Sara Arden

It was as if simply by addressing her needs, he built them higher—hotter.

      “Please,” she begged. Kentucky didn’t know what she was begging for—if she wanted to be flung off that precipice into bliss or if she wanted him to keep building their pyre higher.

      His body tensed and she tightened around him, pulling him deeper as if that alone could keep him there. The tenderness was gone now as he drilled into her, and she didn’t want it. She wanted this part of him, this hidden need. She gorged on it, filling herself with his pleasure, which in turn brought her own.

      She shuddered with him and when he eased down next to her, she didn’t let him go. Instead she pulled him closer, his head on her breast, and she stroked his cheek gently.

      The moon shone down, a silent witness to what had transpired between them. Night birds sang their songs and the world around them had come alive with the darkness. This was her favorite time. Some people thought the dark to be a place of fear, but Kentucky loved how the shadows danced and saw it much like everything else—an adventure.

      She wondered how long he’d stay with her like this, how long until the spell was broken. Midnight? Would he flee back to the world with his glass combat boot?

      Not that it mattered so much in the grand scheme of the world. These moments were hers, for better or worse.

      She shivered and it seemed to shatter the moment.

      “Are you cold? We should be getting back,” he said, pulling on his boxer briefs. “Wait here. I’ll get your clothes.”

      And just like that, it was over.

      He walked purposefully to the other side of the pond near Mossy Rock, where they’d disrobed. It didn’t take him very long to bring her jeans and shirt back to her. There was no way she was putting a wet pair of panties and wet bra back on.

      So when he handed her clothes to her, she squirmed into them commando. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Thanks for the good times”? “Hey, great orgasms—I’ll catch you later”?

      He seemed to be at a loss, as well, looking at her, then looking away.

      “Walk me back to my car?” she asked to fill the silence.

      “Of course. I would never leave you out here by yourself. Remember?”

      She did remember. The one time she really hadn’t wanted to be around him was when she realized she had a thing for him. They’d all been hanging out, eating hot dogs they’d grilled in the fire pit, drinking a few contraband beers, and it had struck her just how perfect she thought Sean Dryden was.

      That it went beyond his golden-boy image.

      For the first time, she’d wished she were someone other than herself. She’d wished she were more like Lynnie so that someone like him...

      She hadn’t wanted to look at either of them. Felt like the biggest ass on the planet for coveting her best friend’s boyfriend. She hadn’t wanted to take anything away from Lynnie, but she couldn’t help but wish Sean loved her instead.

      She’d had trouble living in her own skin for a while after that. Kentucky had pulled away from the group, hadn’t wanted her secret desires to damage their friendships. But he wouldn’t leave her alone. Lynnie seemed to understand that she needed her space, but not Sean.

      “Even when I really wanted you to,” she said with a half smile.

      “We’ll always be friends, Kentucky.” His tone was low and soft, reassuring.

      She didn’t know if he was reassuring her or himself. “Of course we will.” She stuffed her feet into her shoes.

      They headed back to the path through the woods toward the seemingly distant lights of the parking lot.

      With her keys in hand, she didn’t look at him but instead hugged him close. “You’ll be okay, soldier.”

      “We both will.” His arms tightened around her.

      As much as she wanted to linger, she knew it would only make things harder. Best to fall back into old routines so they both remembered they were still the best of friends.

      “Don’t leave town without saying goodbye, okay?”

      “Not a chance. You, me, Rachel and Eric will grab a beer at Eddie’s bar and we’ll remember the good times with good friends.”

      She ducked away from him and slid into her car. She wouldn’t have looked at him if he hadn’t put his hand on her shoulder and demanded she stop.

      “Take care of yourself, Kentucky.”

      “If I don’t, no one else will.” She flashed him a lopsided grin and drove away, secure in the knowledge that the night at Eddie’s wasn’t going to happen and she’d probably never see him again.

      Her heart ached, but it wasn’t empty. It was full of tonight. Of memories.

      Of what was and what could’ve been.

      For all of them.

       4

      KENTUCKY WAS WORKING on restoring a cherry-red ’57 Chevy. It was a beautifully old dame who still sparked with a fire that Kentucky needed in her life. She’d done the interior in this white metallic-flake vinyl and was currently installing various chrome accessories.

      Working on that car was like meditating for her. Nothing could intrude on her thoughts while she was working on Betty, as she’d named the lovely machine. She could lose herself in the intricacies of the old girl’s guts, in the repetition of shining the chrome. Betty was close to done, though, and Kentucky would need a new project soon.

      If she kept avoiding thinking about Sean, as she’d done since last night, she’d be able to restore a whole fleet of the ’57s.

      When her cell rang from the pocket of her coveralls, she jerked it out, hoping against hope it would be Sean—even though the logical part of her brain knew it wasn’t.

      It was Rachel. “Hey, Pop-Tart. Are you banging away on Betty?” she teased.

      “You know it.” She was always working on Betty in every second of free time she had. Originally, Kentucky began restoring her in hopes of selling her at a profit, but the car had come to mean so much more to her. Betty had come to represent a dream of something more. A dream where Kentucky could cruise off down the highway and end up in a place that was her idea of heaven. Just as soon as Betty was done, they’d be on the road.

      She knew it was silly, that every place and every person had their own faults, their own quirks, but Kentucky needed something to believe in and Betty had become that for her.

      “Yeah, well, go wash off the grease and put on your good boots. Guess who is in town?”

      “I don’t know. Tell me.”

      “It’s no fun if you don’t guess.”

      Had Sean called her about going to Eddie’s? She wasn’t ready for anyone to know what happened between them last night, and she was sure that Sean wasn’t really looking to circulate that information either. She swallowed and her gut flipped over and tied itself in knots. “I guess I’m not that much fun these days.”

      “Sean! He just called and asked if I could get us together for some beers and pool tonight at Eddie’s.”

      Suddenly, the idea of seeing him again, pretending as though she didn’t have deeper feelings for him after what they’d done—it was like a knife in her chest. So much for not letting anything come between them. So much for her acting as if it were just sex and didn’t matter past the comfort they’d managed to give each other in the moment.

      She kind of despised herself for having all of the feelings she promised herself she wouldn’t.

      “Man,