What the Lady Wants. Jennifer Crusie

“Mae, honey, I can do anything you want. You don’t need this creep.”

      Mae smiled at her cousin and said, “No,” and he stopped talking and just stared at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes glazed with love. Mitch shook his head in sympathy. This guy had it bad, which was always a mistake. Maybe if he read The Maltese Falcon…

      “Let us handle this, Mae,” Gio said, and Mae said, “No, I want to do this myself,” and Mitch wondered how many times she was going to have to say it before they gave her what she wanted.

      Several times, it turned out. Mitch had stopped listening since hearing Mae repeating no had dulled his nerves, so he started when Gio barked, “Sit.” He looked up to see the old man back behind his massive desk, glaring at him.

      Mitch sat.

      Mae sank into the chair next to him. “I hired Mr. Peatwick to investigate Uncle Armand’s death.”

      “You hired him to check out a heart attack?” Gio’s face was incredulous. “What is he, a doctor?”

      “No.” Mae smiled at him, and his face smoothed out, and Mitch reminded himself not to do anything to annoy Mae while he was in reach of her Donatello kin since she was obviously the center of their existence. “He’s just a private detective checking out a few things for me. This is what I want, Uncle Gio. Please.”

      Gio nodded. “So be it.” He turned to Mitch. “Ask.”

      Mitch double-checked, just to make sure. “This is all right with you?”

      Gio shrugged. “Whatever Mae Belle wants, Mae Belle gets.”

      “Mabel?” Mitch turned to Mae, incredulous. “Mabel?”

      “Mae. Belle.” Mae made the words distinct and separate. “I do not use my middle name.”

      “Mabel.” Mitch shook his head and turned back to find Gio glaring at him. “Oh. Great name. Really.” He regrouped. “Now, Mr. Donatello, when was the last time you saw Armand Lewis?”

      Gio scowled at him. “June 11, 1978. Any other questions?”

      Mitch scowled back. “Yeah. What happened on June 11, 1978, that you remember the date?”

      “I graduated from high school,” Mae said. “I told you this was a waste of time. He hasn’t seen—”

      “Hey, I’m doing this,” Mitch said shortly, and Carlo stirred ominously in the seat beside him. Mitch sighed. “If that’s all right with you, Miss Sullivan.”

      “Of course.” Mae sat back and waved her hand at him. “Go ahead.”

      Mitch turned to Gio, who glared at him. He glanced back at Carlo and saw his scowl deepen. Behind him, Judith gloated on the wall, and Holofernes was still dead. Get out of here now, he told himself. It was the only intelligent thing to do.

      On the other hand, he had more questions, and he sure as hell didn’t want to come back. He took a breath. “Did you ever have business dealings with Armand Lewis?”

      “Once.” Gio’s face was impassive, but remembered rage bubbled beneath the surface. Mitch was willing to bet there was a reason it had only been once.

      “Did you know he kept a diary?”

      “No.” Gio’s eyes flickered at the question, but that could have been anything. The eyes of most psychos flickered at odd moments.

      “Do you know of anyone who had a reason to kill him?”

      “No.” The flicker was back again. For some reason, Gio’s temper was rising. And it had been stratospheric when they’d walked in.

      The hell with this. Time to go.

      He stood up, and Mae and Carlo rose on each side of him.

      “I’ll see you out,” Carlo said, and Mitch turned to him.

      “That reminds me, where were you Monday night?”

      Within seconds, there was a gun in Carlo’s hand, and almost as quickly, Mitch took one step back and one step to the right so that Mae was squarely between him and Carlo.

      “Put that thing down,” Gio barked at his grandson, but Carlo had already let his gun hand drop as soon as Mae was in range.

      “Oh, this is impressive,” Mae said over her shoulder to Mitch. “Aren’t you supposed to be protecting me?”

      “No.” Mitch met Carlo’s appalled eyes with a shrug. “I’m supposed to be investigating your uncle’s death. Somebody pulls a gun, you’re on your own.”

      “God, what a loser,” Carlo said to Mae. “Where’d you get him?”

      Mitch felt wounded. “Hey, if I wasn’t almost positive that you probably wouldn’t shoot her, I wouldn’t be doing this.” He looked down at Mae apologetically. “A man has needs, you know.”

      Mae blinked. “Needs?”

      “Yeah. And top on my list is staying alive.” Mitch eyed Carlo over her shoulder. “Could you disarm your cousin so we can go?”

      “Put it away,” Gio snapped, and Carlo tucked his gun away under his jacket. “Carlo’s a little jumpy right now,” he explained.

      “Listen, if I’d killed Armand for shopping me, he wouldn’t have gone peaceful in his bed,” Carlo told Mitch. “Get real, bozo.”

      “Shopping you?” Mae echoed.

      Gio watched Mitch warily. “It’s nothing, Mae.”

      Oh, terrific. Two psychos, two motives. Mitch had never wanted out of a place more. “Well, that should about do it. Thanks for all your help. We’ve gotta go now.”

      “Good.” Mae crossed to her great-uncle and hugged him goodbye, while Mitch followed, keeping an eye on Carlo.

      “You take care of yourself,” she scolded the old man. “I’m going to check with Nora about your blood pressure when I come back on Sunday, and it had better be down again. You hear me?”

      Gio’s face went to mush. “Now there, don’t you worry about an old man.” He patted her shoulder. “You hear that, Carlo, how she worries?”

      “I hear, Grandpa.” Carlo glared at Mitch. “Mae’s a good girl.”

      “Well, let’s go.” Mitch edged toward the door. “Great meeting you all.”

      “Just a minute, honey.” Gio caught at Mae’s arm and nodded at his grandson, and somehow Mitch found himself alone in the cream-and-gold hall with Carlo, who immediately slammed the door behind them, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and hauled him off his heels the inch that brought them nose to nose.

      MAE WINCED as the door slammed shut after them. “I have to go, Uncle Gio. Carlo’s going to do something to him.”

      Gio’s face leaned closer to hers. “What’s this about, Mae Belle?”

      “Nothing I can’t handle.” Mae patted his hand and then pried it off her arm.

      “You know we’ll give you anything,” Gio insisted. “Anything at all. Let’s get rid of the P.I.”

      Mae patted his hand again. He was fussy and he never listened to her, but she loved him, so she tried to erase the worried look in his eyes. “I’m fine. All I want is my private detective for a week or so. That’s all.” She stopped, distracted by a thud from the hallway. “Oh, hell, Carlo’s beating him up.” She stooped and kissed Gio’s cheek with an audible, affectionate smack that made him grin, and then she headed for the doorway. “Call Carlo off, will you? I don’t need him screwing things up for me.”

      “He’ll just keep an eye out,” Gio answered, but she was already through the door.

      “TELL HER you