Vows, Vendettas And A Little Black Dress. Kyra Davis

and I were quiet for a moment as we tried to work that one out. “You mean conventional?” I ventured.

      “Isn’t that what I said?”

      Both Dena and I tactfully chose not to answer the question.

      Mary Ann shrugged and got back up to her feet. “You want to see what else he got me?”

      “Can I have a second to think about that?” Dena teased.

      Mary Ann rolled her eyes and went to the mantel of her mock fireplace. Carefully she picked up a snow globe that I hadn’t seen before.

      “Check it out, it’s two flamingos like the ones we saw at Wild Animal Park! Isn’t it cute the way their heads are pressed together so their necks form a heart? And he had it engraved and everything! Look!” She pointed to the little plaque on the front of the snow globe. “M & M! For Monty and Mary Ann! He says that life with me is just as sweet as the candy. Isn’t that cute?”

      Neither of us said anything for a moment and then Dena turned to me. “Do you have any Tylenol?”

      “Oh, come on.” Mary Ann smacked Dena on the arm with a tad too much force to be considered playful. “It’s sweet! You think it’s sweet, don’t you, Sophie?”

      “Well,” I hedged, “it’s certainly unconventional. I mean, well, they put flamingos in a snow globe. I’m not judging or anything but…wouldn’t penguins be somewhat more appropriate?”

      “Penguins can’t make their necks look like a heart!”

      “Actually they sort of can—”

      “No, they can’t!”

      “Oh. Okay.” I sank back as Dena muttered swearwords under her breath.

      “And I’m sure that flamingos would love the snow if they ever had the chance to play in it!” Mary Ann continued. “Humans aren’t the only ones who like to mix things up, you know!”

      I nodded quickly to show that I was willing to concede the point. Of course it wasn’t the flamingos that I had difficulty with despite their peculiar climatic versatility, it was the inscription. Comparing a relationship to the sweetness of M & Ms? If Anatoly ever said something like that to me I’d whack him over the head with a toothbrush.

      Dena lifted her fingers to the bridge of her nose as Mary Ann replaced the globe and crossed to the other side of the room. But this time what she pointed to was a rather interesting and well-rendered piece of modern art that she had hung high above her low bookcase. The blue backdrop perfectly offset the bold black and white strokes that graced the canvas.

      Dena immediately perked up. “Monty gave you that?” she asked. “It’s actually pretty cool!”

      “Isn’t it?” Mary Ann looked up at the painting lovingly. “It was painted by an orangutan at the San Diego Zoo!”

      Dena opened her mouth, then closed it, then started rocking slowly back and forth like a mental patient trying to comfort herself. “Maybe I should pour us all something to drink,” I suggested hopefully. “Something strong.”

      “In a minute,” Mary Ann promised. “First I have to show you this.”

      She crossed to the side table by the couch and lifted up a delicate little treasure box. It was made of porcelain and was as smooth and beautiful as Mary Ann’s complexion. On its lid stood a small figurine of Tinker Bell. Her delicate but spirited face was upturned and her little wand was arched high above her head as if she was trying to command the stars to dance.

      “It’s pretty,” Dena begrudgingly admitted.

      Mary Ann nodded solemnly. “It’s Lennox. It was at Disneyland that I knew I was truly in love with him. Tinker Bell flew over Sleeping Beauty’s castle and the sky lit up with fireworks….” Her voice trailed off and she took a deep, shaky breath. “He kissed me then and the way I felt when I was in his arms…the entire experience just opened my eyes to a whole new world!”

      Dena grabbed my wrist and gave it an urgent squeeze. “She’s going to burst into song!” she hissed. “It’s like some kind of nightmarish scene from Mamma Mia!”

      Mary Ann shot her a quick dirty look. “I’m not going to sing. But it was magic. Disney magic. And whatever you may think of it, that magic woke me up to what an amazing guy I had standing next to me…holding my hand. And now just look at us! We’re living the fairy tale!”

      “The Disney version or the Brothers Grimm?” Dena asked.

      “Why do you always have to be like this?” Mary Ann snapped. “You and I both know that Disney never made a movie about any brothers named Grimm and if you’re talking about Brother Bear, well, that movie wasn’t romantic at all!”

      As they continued to argue I picked up the Lennox box. There was room in it for something small…and possibly very valuable.

      “Mary Ann,” I asked carefully, “was there anything in here when he gave this to you?’”

      Mary Ann, who had been yelling at Dena, abruptly stopped…and blushed.

      “Is that the reason you’re wearing the gloves?” I persisted.

      Her blush deepened and she pulled off her right glove and then her left. None of us moved a muscle as we collectively stared down at the large heart-shaped ruby on a simple platinum band.

      “Oh. My. God.” They were the only words I could manage.

      Dena’s eyes widened slowly and the fine lines of surprise popped up on her forehead one by one. “Mary Ann,” Dena breathed, “is that what I think it is?”

      Mary Ann only nodded, her eyes still on her ring.

      “But you’ve only known him for—”

      “We’ve known each other for almost a year.” She looked up at Dena, her anger replaced with a gut-wrenching vulnerability. “I am totally and absolutely in love with him.”

      Dena pressed her lips together and I found myself holding my breath as we all waited for further reaction. Dena was the sole proprietor of an upscale sex shop and she was currently involved in a polyamorous relationship with two guys and a hippie chick named Amelia. The very idea that she was going to be able to embrace her cousin’s acceptance of a heart-shaped gemstone presented in a Tinker Bell box seemed preposterous. But it was also necessary. For Mary Ann, Dena was more than a cousin, she was the older sister she never had, and despite all their differences she would want her blessing.

      Dena took Mary Ann’s hand and lifted the ruby to the light. “It’s a good quality rock,” Dena said as she tilted the gem this way and that. “It’s almost like glass and the red is fantastic. It’s Burmese?”

      Again Mary Ann nodded. “It’s over a full carat. He got it from Goldberry’s on Sacramento Street…you know Bob Dylan’s former longtime girlfriend designed it. I thought you’d like that. I thought maybe…maybe you could be happy for me?”

      Dena took in another deep breath and then looked straight into Mary Ann’s eyes.

      “You tell him that if he ever hurts you I will get a rock five times this size and shove it up his ass. Got it?”

      And that was Dena-speak for “I’ll support you in this.” Mary Ann threw her arms around Dena’s neck and burst into tears. “I love you so much,” she sobbed.

      “Hey,” I said, gently nudging Mary Ann as she loosened her grip on Dena. “I’d shove a rock up a guy’s ass if he hurt you, too, you know.”

      “Like Monty could ever hurt anyone.” Mary Ann laughed and gave me a swift, hard hug. “He’s not like the other guys I’ve dated. He is always so kind and gentle and he would never cheat on me. Not in a million years.”

      “Ah.” Dena stood up and crossed her arms across her chest. “So what