The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift. Nic Tatano

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Название The Empire State Cat’s Christmas Gift
Автор произведения Nic Tatano
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780008200664



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      “What?”

      “I know what you’re thinking.”

      “You do, huh?”

      “Now you want an office cat, don’t you?”

      “Not terribly practical for a law firm, but if that one likes to hang out here I won’t complain. We always had cats when I was a kid, and to be honest I’ve been meaning to get a pet.”

      “Well, don’t spoil her. You can’t get a reputation as the lawyer who stole someone’s cat. There are laws against that, you know.”

      “What laws?”

      “Catnapping.”

       CHAPTER TWO

      Tish saw that her three closest friends had already arrived at the restaurant. Normally they went out on the weekend, but in light of the situation with her house, Rory, A.J. and Madison insisted they get together for moral support on Tuesday evening. Tish couldn’t help but agree; being literally driven from her home in the middle of the night was beyond stressful. Even though no one had been hurt, living in Madison’s guest room on weekends for a few months and a Manhattan hotel during the week while her home was being repaired would be disorienting. Her home had been a second office with everything impeccably organized; now it was a water and smoke-damaged disaster. If she hadn’t had a hanging bag of a few outfits she’d just bought in her car, she would have had nothing to wear.

      Of course, Tish had no choice but to count her blessings. She had adopted a cat who had literally saved her life.

      Everyone got up to hug her as she arrived. “Thanks, guys. Really appreciate all your help.”

      Madison, the tall redheaded network television reporter who had given her Socks, patted her on the shoulder as they all sat. “You’re good to go in our guest room. Nick’s got everything squared away. He took your clothes that survived to the cleaners and hopefully they can get the smoke out of them. I’ve got some outfits for you in my car, enough to get you through the rest of the week. Y’know, since the insurance company is going to buy you some clothes, you might consider jazzing up your wardrobe a bit.”

      “Nice try. Anyway, your fiancé is a saint. I’m jealous. But I hate that I’m cramping your style moving into your love nest on weekends for a few months.”

      “You’ll get used to Madison screaming,” said Rory, Madison’s best friend who lived across the street and worked at home as a copywriter. The slim brunette flashed a wicked grin.

      “Yeah,” said A.J., the petite New York Italian gal who ran the family delicatessen. “So much for keeping the windows closed during sex to keep it a secret.”

      Madison started to blush. “Stop it. Anyway, Tish, my network wants you and Socks sometime this weekend, probably on the Saturday morning show.”

      “What for?”

      “Cat saves owner’s life, film at eleven. It’s an incredible tale. Or tail, as the case may be. And you know the story of my litter of orphaned kittens refuses to die. The dominoes of their effect on people continue to tumble. They’re a bunch of furry good luck charms.”

      “No argument here.”

      “Besides, you can throw in a plug for the local shelter and talk about pets that need adopting.”

      “Sure, I’ll do it.”

      A.J. handed Tish a business card. “My cousin Angelo says he should have you back in your house around Christmas. He pulled some of his guys off another job and got the insurance company out there already. He said everything is covered and you get replacement value. Don’t worry, they won’t cut corners. Your house will actually be better than new. He’ll be getting in touch with you to pick out paint colors, flooring and that sort of stuff.”

      “Thank God you’re related to a contractor. This means a lot, A.J. Thank you so much for getting him over so fast.”

      Madison leaned back as she studied a menu. “So how’s the furry little lifesaver doing in her new weekday home?”

      “Socks seemed to really like being in the office instead of at home by herself during the day. And my law intern is keeping her company in the evening. She already sleeps at night. You sure I can bring her home on the weekends?”

      “Of course. You can’t leave her in the office and she’ll love playing with Bumper again. And my cat will be thrilled. You sure you don’t want to leave her with me full time?”

      “She’d miss me too much.”

      Rory rolled her eyes. “Wait for it…”

      “Fine,” said Tish. “And I’d miss her too much.”

      A young brunette waitress arrived at the table with a water jug and filled their glasses. She pulled an order pad from her apron. “Good evening, ladies. Can I start you off with something from the bar?”

      Tish nodded. “Big bottle of bourbon. No glass.”

      The waitress laughed. “I’m sorry, but we don’t allow drinking right from the bottle. Though I could wrap it in a brown paper bag and you could go out back.”

      “Then a nice chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio with four glasses please.”

      “Sure.” She wrote down the order. “Let me tell you about our specials this evening. Tonight our chef has prepared—”

      “Hey! Waitress!” The man at a table in the middle of the room interrupted her, waving frantically while looking angry. He pointed at her. “You! Right now!”

      The waitress turned and her face dropped. “Excuse me a minute. We have a problem customer at one of my tables and I need to deal with him.”

      Spencer and Ariel stopped eating as the portly middle-aged bald guy at the next table was making a scene chewing out the young waitress. The eating in the entire restaurant had stopped, as everyone was watching the man.

      “I ordered the steak well done, and it was medium! Can’t you people get anything right?”

      The waitress was shaking a bit. “Sir, if you’d told me that when I brought it to you, I could have sent it back to the chef—”

      “You should have checked it before you brought it out, you stupid bitch!”

      Spencer threw down his napkin. “Okay, that’s it.” He stood up and approached the guy. “Hey, buddy, that’s enough.”

      The man turned to him. “Why don’t you mind your own business. It’s my problem.”

      “You just made it everyone’s business with your big mouth and rude behavior.” He pointed to the man’s empty plate. “And if you had such an issue with your steak, why did you wait till you ate the whole thing before complaining?”

      “What difference does it make? It tasted awful. She couldn’t even take a simple order!”

      “Obviously you just want a free meal.”

      “I want what I ordered!”

      “That doesn’t give you an excuse to talk to the young lady like that. You owe her an apology.”

      “Like hell.”

      Spencer turned to the waitress who now had her arms wrapped around her waist. She was pale and trembling. “How much is his check?”

      “Thirty-eight dollars.”

      Spencer pulled out his wallet and handed her a one-hundred dollar bill. “Keep the change.” He turned back to the man. “Now, since you got your free dinner, why don’t you get the hell out and let the rest of us eat in peace? And do everyone a favor. Don’t come back. Next