Where Rainbows End. Cecelia Ahern

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Invisible man

      HA! You didn’t find a date!! I knew it!

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Big strong man

      Yes I did.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject No man

      No you didn’t.

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Yes, man!

      Yes I did.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject What man?

      THEN WHO IS IT?

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Almost a man

      Brian.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Brian?

      BRIAN? BRIAN THE WHINE?

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Re: Brian?

      Maybe …

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject HA HA!

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you’re going to the debs with Brian the Whine?! Talk about scraping the barrel! Brian who lifted your skirt when you were six, in front of everyone in the school yard, to reveal your knickers? The Brian you were stuck sitting beside for all of second class, who ate fish sandwiches every day for lunch and picked his nose while you ate your sandwiches? The Brian who followed us home from school everyday singing ‘Rosie and Alex up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?’ and made you cry and ignore me for a week? The Brian who spilled his beer all down your new top at my going-away party? The Brian you absolutely can’t stand and was the one person you actually hated all throughout school? And now you’re going to the last school dance ever, with Brian?

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject No, the other Brian

      Yes, Alex, that Brian. Now may I ask that you please stop emailing me as my darling mother is currently tying knots in my head trying to make me look half decent? She has also been reading your emails and wants you to know that Brian the Whine won’t be lifting up my skirt tonight.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Re: Brian

      Well, it won’t be for lack of trying. Have fun! May I suggest that you wear your beer goggles tonight?

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Re: Beer goggles

      The beer goggles will be well and truly on! Brian was the only person I could get last minute, thanks to you. All I have to do is stand in with him for the photos so that Mum and Dad can have lovely memories of their daughter going to the debs all dressed up with a man in a tuxedo. The tables seat ten so I won’t even have to talk to him at dinner. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Alex?

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Re: Re: Beer goggles

      Not really. I’d love to be there instead. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do …

      From Rosie

      To Alex

      Subject Re: Re: Re: Beer goggles

      Well, that doesn’t rule out much. Hair’s done now, have to get the rest of me ready. I’ll let you know how it went tomorrow.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Debs

      How were the debs last night? No doubt you’re nursing a hangover. I’ll wait to hear from you tomorrow but I’ll wait no longer! I want to know everything!

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Debs

      Did you get my last email? I keep calling and there’s no answer. What’s up? I hope you’re busy preparing for the big move over to me! Email me soon, please.

      Steph: Rosie, stop avoiding Alex and tell him how the debs went. Alex is even emailing me wondering what happened, and I’m certainly not going to tell him! The poor guy missed out and all he wants to know is who did what, where and when.

      Rosie: Well, I certainly won’t be telling him who did who.

      Steph: Ha ha.

      Rosie: It’s not funny.

      Steph: I think it’s hilarious. Come on, it’s been three weeks now!

      Rosie: Are you sure it’s three weeks?

      Steph: Yeah, why?

      Rosie: Holy shit.

      Rosie has logged off.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Hello??

      Rosie, are you there? Are you having problems with your email? Please reply. You should be getting on a plane soon to come over here – you’ll miss the start of term.

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject Please, Rosie?

      Are you mad at me? I’m sorry I couldn’t go to the debs ball, but I thought you understood. Things with whiny Briany can’t have gone that badly, can they? What have you been doing all month? This is ridiculous. Why doesn’t anyone answer the phone at your house when I call?

      Answer me,

      Alex

      Dear Alice,

      Hi, it’s Alex here. I’m just writing to see if Rosie’s OK. I haven’t heard from her and I was getting a bit worried, to tell you the truth. It’s unusual for me to not hear from her in so long. Every time I call the house it just goes on to answering machine. Are you getting my messages? Maybe you’ve all gone away? Please let me no what’s happening, and tell Rosie to call.

      Best wishes,

      Alex

      Dear Sandra,

      Alex has been leaving messages with us all week and he’s terribly concerned about Rosie. I know you’re worried about him worrying about Rosie so I’m just writing to let you know the situation …

      From Alex

      To Rosie

      Subject You’re not coming to Boston?

      My mum told me today that you’re not coming to Boston. Please tell me what’s happening. I’m so worried. Did I do something wrong? You no that I am always here for you when you need me.

      Whatever it is, Rosie, I will understand and will always be here to help you. Please let me no what is happening. I’m going out of my mind here. If you don’t get in touch with me, I’m booking a flight back to Ireland to see you myself.

      Love,