Secrets and Sins. Jaishree Misra

Chapter Forty

       Chapter Forty-One

       Chapter Forty-Two

       Chapter Forty-Three

       Chapter Forty-Four

       Chapter Forty-Five

       Chapter Forty-Six

       Epilogue

       In Conversation with Jaishree Misra

       Acknowledgements

       About the Author

       By the same author

       About the Publisher

       Prologue

       She gazed up at the cinema screen. He was larger than life, the close-up zooming in on his face causing his sleepy brown eyes to look directly into hers as he smiled into the camera. His hair was still black and shiny, exactly as she remembered it from back then. How many years ago was it? Every so often, she counted…ten…eleven…always surprised that the yearning hadn’t gone away…

       Something indefinable caught at her heart as she saw his face soften. She cast a look around at the rows of faces staring intently at the screen, all of them absorbed in the drama of the tender love scene unfolding before their eyes. He continued to be Bollywood’s most popular actor, equally loved in action as well as romantic roles – but undoubtedly it was his romantic persona that carried abiding appeal for his throngs of doting female fans.

       As he leant down to kiss the heroine on the nape of her neck, the same thought came to her as it always did when she watched one of his love scenes on screen. She sighed and sank down in her seat and wondered, with the same old feeling in the pit of her stomach, what all these hundreds of people watching the film would do if they knew…if they only knew that she, Riva Walia, was the very first girl to whom the iconic and adored Aman Khan had ever made love.

       Chapter One

      LEEDS, 1994

      

      The Union Bar was more crowded than Aman had ever seen it since joining the university. Unsurprising, he supposed, seeing that the Man U versus Barça match was due to kick off in fifteen minutes. The din was unbearable but everyone else seemed oblivious to it; both the groups of students gathered around the cheek-by-jowl tables and the bar staff who were by now probably all stone deaf. Aman looked around for the only person he was hoping to see, and soon spotted Riva. She was with a gang at the far end of the room, seated around a scuffed circular table near the back door that was sticky with spilt drinks and littered with crumpled crisp wrappers and cigarette butts.

      Shouldering his way through the throng, Aman saw the usual crowd surrounding Riva, including a few people whom he knew by face rather than name. Aman had watched Riva acquire at least a hundred new friends in this first year at uni; she was always surrounded by people. Riva’s best friend, the chirpy redhead Susan, was the first to spot him. She said something to Ben that made him look up and give Aman what was definitely an unwelcoming glare. And then Riva spotted him. Her face broke into one of those lovely smiles that did strange things to Aman’s insides. She raised her arm and waved enthusiastically at him. He nodded as she pointed to the empty stool next to her, and continued to make his way through the crowd in her direction. Could he really hope that she had kept that seat waiting for him? Ben was still glowering as Aman neared the table but Susan’s medical student boyfriend, Joe, was friendlier and moved his bag aside to make room for Aman.

      ‘Hi, can I get anyone a drink?’ Aman asked. He licked his lips – his mouth had gone suddenly dry. Everyone had full glasses and so Aman sat down. He would get his orange juice later. It wasn’t what he was here for anyway.

      ‘Didn’t know you were a football fan,’ he said, turning to Riva with a smile.

      ‘Oh, I’m not,’ she replied cheerily, taking a long swig from her glass. He watched the golden lager passing through her lips, thinking of how badly he wanted to kiss them. Putting her glass down, she said, ‘And I didn’t know you were a footie fan.’

      ‘I’m not either,’ he replied, slipping into the same merry tone of voice she had used.

      ‘Shall we escape this shit then?’ she asked. ‘Or did you have other plans?’

      Incredulous at the unexpected change of fortune and momentarily robbed of speech, Aman nodded dumbly. Then, gathering his wits, he said, ‘I was going to make myself something to eat back at the hall, actually. You know, take advantage of everyone being here to get free use of the kitchen.’

      ‘Make something? You can cook?’

      The truthful answer would have been ‘Hmmm, a tiny bit – toast and scrambled eggs mainly.’ But Aman, his heart surging with bravado, said, ‘Of course I can cook. I’m quite good actually. Why, don’t you believe me?’

      He couldn’t help but imagine the peals of laughter his mother would have broken into had she been around to hear his blatant lie. Luckily Mum was as far away as she could possibly be, probably fast asleep in her bed in Bombay and blissfully unaware of her son’s evil machinations.

      ‘I only ask because Sonalika, my mate back at school, used to say she knew no Indian men who cooked,’ Riva smiled. ‘My dad certainly can’t, but I don’t know too many other Indian men apart from him, so I shouldn’t judge.’

      ‘Chicken makhani’s my speciality actually,’ Aman said, warming to his theme.

      ‘Cor!’ Riva looked gratifyingly impressed. ‘Teach me!’ she demanded.

      ‘Teach you? Now?’

      ‘Now!’

      ‘But the match…’

      ‘Stuff the match! We’re neither of us here for the footie anyway. C’mon, let’s escape this hellhole.’ Riva knocked back the last of her lager and picked up her coat and bag from under her chair. Aman, needing no further invitation, got up and looked apologetically around at the others.

      ‘Hey, guys, Aman and I are off in search of some nosh,’ Riva said casually as she pulled on her jacket. ‘Be back by the end of the game.’

      Aman did not miss the renewed glare from Ben, who looked ready to get up and punch him, but none of the others seemed too bothered as it was nearing kick-off and the attention of the whole bar was starting to focus on the screen. Riva was already halfway out of the back door and lighting up a cigarette by the time Aman caught up with her.

      ‘Don’t think Ben was too pleased,’ Aman said.

      ‘Ben? Why, what makes you say that?’ Riva blew a plume of smoke out into the cold air.

      ‘He is your boyfriend, isn’t he?’

      ‘Naaah.’ Riva shrugged and asked, ‘Have you got the stuff you need, Aman?’

      ‘Stuff?’