Nobody’s Son: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own. Cathy Glass

you will,’ I confirmed. ‘I’ll take you there in my car. You go to breakfast club so we’ll take you there first and then Adrian to his school and Paula to nursery.’

      Alex looked relieved and managed another small smile. School is often the only constant factor in a foster child’s life if they have to move home; it’s familiar, safe and reliable, so it’s important that they remain at the same school if at all possible. There was a chance that Alex would have to change schools when he went to his adoptive parents, as the matching process – children with prospective parents – stretches across the country, but if so that would be unavoidable, and it would be the last move he’d have to make.

      ‘See you tomorrow then,’ Graham said as they headed down the front path.

      We watched them go and then I closed the front door.

      ‘I like Alex, he’s nice,’ Adrian said.

      ‘I like him too,’ Paula agreed.

      ‘He’s a lovely little boy, but remember he’ll only be staying with us for a few weeks,’ I cautioned, as much for my benefit as the children’s. I knew how easily we became attached to the children we looked after, especially a child like Alex, unassuming and vulnerable. You felt like you wanted to give him a big hug and never let him go, but he’d only be with us a short while.

      We played some card and board games that afternoon and then in the evening, after dinner, the three of us watched some television. The house phone rang at six o’clock and I was slightly surprised to hear John, their father. He usually telephoned on a Sunday evening, but he quickly explained that he was away for a few days so he was phoning now while he had the chance, as he didn’t like to let the children down. I bit back the retort at the tip of my tongue about letting the children down in a much bigger way and passed the handset to Adrian, who usually spoke to him first. Adrian told him about school and football and what he’d been doing generally – a life that John had once been part of and familiar with but now needed to be told about. When Adrian had finished his news he passed the phone to Paula who, not understanding about divorce, asked as she had done before, ‘When are you coming home, Daddy?’ It stung my heart now as it always did.

      ‘He’s not,’ Adrian said under his breath.

      ‘It’s OK,’ I said quietly to him. Then to Paula I said, ‘Daddy is coming to see you next Sunday.’

      John must have said something similar for she repeated, ‘Seeing Daddy next weekend.’ Then, satisfied that she’d spoken to him, she said, ‘Goodbye, Daddy,’ and passed the phone to Adrian to say goodbye and hang up.

      John would now return to his life as we returned to ours, and while it was getting a little easier for us to accept, I would never understand how a father could leave his family for another woman. Had John’s life with me really been so bad? He’d admitted once that it hadn’t, that it was just one of those things, beyond his control, that he’d fallen in love with another woman. As though it wasn’t his fault!

      Chapter Two

       Unsettled Early Life

      The following morning Adrian was up earlier than usual for a Sunday, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Alex. We’d had our Sunday-morning fry-up for breakfast and I’d cleared up so that I was ready to give Alex my full attention. It’s always strange when a new child first arrives – for us as well as the child – as we all adjust to each other’s likes and dislikes, habits and mannerisms, but by the end of a few days we’re all usually jogging along together in our new routine.

      The front doorbell rang a little after eleven o’clock and the children came with me to answer it.

      ‘I’ll play with Alex while you help Mum unpack,’ Adrian told Paula.

      ‘I want to play too,’ Paula said with a whine.

      ‘You can both play with him,’ I said diplomatically.

      As I opened the front door the cold January air rushed in. Alex and Graham stood side by side in the porch, loaded with bags. ‘Good morning,’ Graham said cheerfully. ‘I’ll bring these in and then unpack the rest of the car.’

      I held the door wide open so Graham could manoeuvre in the two large suitcases he was carrying. ‘Are they all right there?’ he asked, setting them down to one side of the hall.

      ‘Yes, fine. I’ll sort them all out later.’

      ‘That case has Alex’s school uniform in and his winter clothes,’ he said, tapping one. ‘You may not need to unpack the other. It’s his summer gear.’

      ‘OK, thanks.’

      Alex, holding his school bag and a carrier bag of toys, with a bulging rucksack on his back, was now standing in the hall looking very lost.

      ‘Here, let me help you with that,’ I said, and eased the rucksack off his back.

      ‘You stay here with Cathy,’ Graham told Alex, ‘while I unload the rest of the car.’

      Adrian took the bags Alex was holding from him so he could take off his coat. The poor lad looked even more bewildered now than he had done yesterday. ‘Are you OK, love?’ I asked him as he stood immobile, making no attempt to take off his coat or trainers. He nodded. ‘You’ll soon feel at home,’ I reassured him with a smile.

      ‘Is this my new home?’ he asked.

      ‘For now, yes.’

      ‘But you’re not my new mummy?’

      ‘No, love. I’m your new foster carer. You should be meeting your new mummy and daddy in a week or so.’

      He nodded again and then began unzipping his parka. Slipping it off, he handed it to me and I hung it on the hall stand with our coats. Graham returned with more bags and set them in the hall beside the suitcases. He also handed me a folder containing the paperwork I needed.

      ‘Do you want his bike in here or shall I take it round the back?’ Graham asked me.

      ‘In here, please. Alex can help me put it in the shed later.’ It was important Alex saw where his new bike was going so he knew it was safe.

      ‘Shall we play with some of your toys?’ Adrian asked, peering into the carrier bag.

      Alex gave a small nod and, picking up the bag, followed Adrian down the hall and into the living room. Paula ran after them. Graham returned with Alex’s bike and some more bags, which we stacked in the hall. There was hardly any room to move. Children who’ve been in care a while tend to acquire many possessions – as much if not more than the average child – as carers try to compensate for the depravation of their early years before coming into care. Graham brought in the last of the bags and I was pleased to be able to close the front door against the cold winter air.

      ‘I’ll just say goodbye to Alex and then I’ll be off,’ Graham said, aware that it was advisable to keep his leave-taking short.

      I went with him to the living room, where the children were sitting in a small circle on the floor playing with Alex’s toys. Toscha was asleep on the sofa.

      ‘Bye then, mate,’ Graham said from just inside the door. ‘Be good.’

      Alex didn’t turn or speak. ‘Say goodbye to Graham,’ I said.

      ‘Bye,’ Alex said, but he kept his back to Graham and I knew he was feeling rejected.

      I could see Graham was a little surprised, even hurt, by Alex’s reaction, perhaps expecting a hug or even tears, but it’s a trauma for a child to have to move home when they’re settled and Alex was stating how he felt. ‘Don’t worry,’ I said quietly to Graham. ‘He’ll be fine soon.’

      ‘Bye then, mate,’ Graham said again, and then, with no response from Alex, he returned