Nobody’s Son: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own. Cathy Glass

when there is no school and the promise of being able to play all day.

      Alex brought his photograph album down to breakfast and placed it under his seat. But then he just toyed with his food and hardly ate a thing. I told him not to worry, that he could make up for it at lunch and that I, too, was feeling nervous and I was sure his mummy and daddy were as well. I then tried to distract him by arranging various toys and board games at the table and in the living room, and, encouraged by Adrian and Paula, he made a brave attempt to play with them. But over the next hour he grew quieter and more withdrawn. At 10.45, fifteen minutes before Edward and Rosemary were due to arrive, Alex went up to his bedroom and closed the door.

      His behaviour didn’t surprise me. Alex wasn’t a confident child and the enormity of meeting his new parents had finally taken its toll. Leaving Adrian and Paula playing in the living room, I went upstairs, knocked on Alex’s door and went in. He was in bed, fully clothed.

      ‘Alex, love, it’s not bedtime yet,’ I said lightly, going to his bedside. He had the duvet pulled up to his chin.

      ‘I know, but I like it in here,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s nice and safe and warm.’

      ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘It’s comforting being in bed, but you’ll be very hot in there.’

      ‘I don’t mind.’

      I paused and looked at his little face peeping over the duvet, large eyes watching me cautiously. ‘Alex, I know you must be feeling anxious and worried. That’s only natural. This is a big day for you all, but is there anything in particular that is worrying you?’

      He shook his head, but then said, ‘Yes.’

      ‘Can you tell me what it is?’

      ‘They might not like me,’ he said, clearly having been thinking about this for a while.

      ‘They’ll like you,’ I said. ‘I’m sure of it.’

      ‘But supposing they like me to begin with and then after a few months they change their minds and stop liking me? Like Graham and Sandy and the others did. I’d have to move all my things again and go to another new school.’

      I knelt beside his bed so his face was level with mine. ‘Alex, this is very different to what’s happened in the past. They are going to adopt you. That is a commitment for life. When a child is adopted it’s the same as if the parents had the child. They will love and care for you just as they do James.’

      ‘But how can you be sure?’ he asked.

      ‘Because they will have spent a long, long time going through the adoption process, when they will have thought about and talked about what they are going to do. So they would have had plenty of time to change their minds. Also, they would have been seen by a social worker many, many times, and she would have asked them lots of questions to make sure they were right to adopt. It’s not easy to adopt and many people who want to can’t. Then there would be more time and meetings as the social worker matched them with you. All this can take two years, sometimes longer, so I know they are committed and are not going to change their minds.’

      ‘Oh, I see,’ Alex said thoughtfully. ‘I didn’t know that.’

      ‘It would have been going on without you knowing. But I expect Debbie talked to you about being adopted a while back and asked you if you’d like to be.’

      He paused and then said, ‘Yes, but that was ages ago. I remember she asked me if I’d like a forever mummy and daddy and I said yes, and we talked about what they would be like.’

      I nodded. ‘Yes, that’s right.’ Once the social worker has confirmed with the child that they would like to be adopted, they wouldn’t normally be given regular updates on what is a lengthy and laborious process until a suitable match is found. Not only would it be unsettling for the child, but it’s a sad fact that many children in care – especially older children – are never found adoptive homes and remain with foster carers until they reach eighteen (making them an adult in the eyes of the law) and have to leave care.

      ‘Well, since that day Debbie talked to you about being adopted she has been looking for suitable parents for you,’ I said. ‘Then when you were at Graham and Sandy’s she told you she’d found them.’

      His face brightened a little. ‘Yes, I remember. So my new mummy and daddy won’t ever want to give me back?’

      ‘No, love, they won’t give you back. Adoption is for life.’

      ‘Even if I’m naughty?’

      I smiled. ‘Even if you’re naughty.’

      Alex smiled too and then gave a little shudder. ‘But I’m still nervous.’

      ‘That’s normal. So am I.’ I copied his shudder and he laughed.

      ‘Good boy, up you get then. They’ll be here soon.’ I glanced at the clock on the wall; it was 10.55.

      He’d just got out of bed when the front doorbell rang. ‘Is that them?’ he asked, his eyes widening in alarm.

      ‘I expect so.’

      He shot back into bed and pulled the duvet up and over his head.

      ‘Mum! Door!’ Adrian shouted unnecessarily from the foot of the stairs. He knew not to answer the door, even if we were expecting someone. It was part of our ‘safer caring policy’, which all foster carers work to.

      ‘I’ll be down!’ I called. Then to Alex, who was still under the duvet, ‘Can you come down with me?’

      ‘No,’ came the muffled reply. ‘I’m too scared.’

      ‘OK. Stay there for a few minutes while I go down and let them in. I’ll take them into the living room and once they’re settled I’ll come back up for you. How does that sound?’

      ‘I’ll try.’

      ‘Good boy.’

      I came out, leaving his bedroom door open – I knew he’d be listening out for his parents’ voices – and returned downstairs. Adrian was now peering through the security spy hole in the front door. ‘It’s them,’ he said. ‘I recognize them from the photograph in Alex’s album. But they’re not wearing their best clothes.’

      ‘Adrian, don’t tell them that!’

      He grinned cheekily and then stood beside me as I opened the front door. ‘Hello, lovely to see you again,’ I said, welcoming Edward and Rosemary.

      ‘And you, Cathy,’ Edward said. Then to Adrian, ‘Hello, young man.’

      ‘Hello,’ Adrian said politely.

      ‘He’s very different from his photographs,’ Rosemary said as they came in. ‘I wouldn’t have recognized him.’

      ‘Oh no, this isn’t Alex,’ I said. ‘This is Adrian, my son.’

      ‘I’m sorry,’ Rosemary said with an embarrassed laugh. But it broke the ice.

      ‘Come through and have a seat in the living room,’ I said. ‘I’ll fetch Alex down in a minute. He’s in his bedroom.’

      ‘Not still in bed, surely?’ Edward exclaimed jocularly. ‘James and I have been on a five-mile bike ride already.’

      I smiled. ‘No, he’s not in bed, he’s just a bit nervous.’

      ‘Shall I go up and talk to him?’ Rosemary kindly offered.

      ‘I think it would be better if I persuaded him to come down,’ I said. We went into the living room and I introduced Rosemary and Edward to Paula.

      ‘Hello, dear,’ Rosemary said. ‘What are you doing? Playing?’

      She gave a small, shy nod.

      ‘This is Alex’s mummy and daddy,’ I told Paula.

      ‘That’s