I never feel I have to justify any purchases, because I have earned the money and I know I deserve the occasional treat. If he doesn’t like it, that’s tough luck I’m afraid: I’m worth it!
How open and honest you decide to be depends on what kind of relationship you have. Some can take a lot more deception and secrecy than others. But from what I can tell, the cleaner that the cupboard under your stairs is, the better for the long haul. Time to grab a duster, perhaps?
To Clean or not to Clean?
Having a cleaner is a luxury. I don’t care who you are, what your background, income or size of your pad is, but being able to have somebody else wash your toilet, scrub your bathroom and polish your mirrors is a huge luxury.
A few years ago I decided to spoil myself rotten and get a cleaner, and it really turned my life around. I had a baby at the time, and two older children, and instead of spending every minute that the baby was sleeping either washing the floor or hoovering under the sofa, I could use that hour to do some different, satisfying brain work like writing (to earn just enough to pay the cleaner!) or sorting out the photo albums, or even to have a rest, and I’d feel ready to play again when the baby woke up.
But there are also disadvantages of having a cleaner. One, it costs money, obviously, and you have to be sure that this is money you are happy to spend on that, rather than something for the kids or a treat for yourself. Two, it means you are not only letting a stranger into your home but also letting her (it’s usually her, as far as I can tell) see what lurks behind the bathroom bin, on top of the picture rails and under the toilet seat. It’s all very embarrassing, but necessary if you are to have a clean house once again.
Here are some considerations and tips for deciding whether to get a cleaner:
Can you afford it? How much a cleaner charges varies enormously. I know of people who pay £5 an hour—a bit mean, I feel—and some who shell out £50 a week for more general cleaning and housework. The only question you have to ask is: Is paying a cleaner something I can easily afford or is the financial strain outweighing any benefit I might be getting from the extra time and relaxation it buys me? Only you can tell, but do be honest with yourself—remember, it is a luxury, not a given.
Are you both happy with the idea? My mother spent twenty years working up to asking my dad if she could have a cleaner, and a further ten years asking him why not. This enraged me—if she wants a cleaner, and can afford it, then let her have one! Alas, it’s not so simple in all marriages, and your partner may not be entirely happy with you spending the family money on a lady who gives the house a quick dusting every week. Talk about it, and see if you can work out who is being more unreasonable. If you still can’t agree, give it a try for a month or two, and then review the situation. If you can have sex a lot more often than usual during this period, showing just how beneficial the cleaner can be, you should be on to a winner.
How often should the cleaner come? The best way is to leave it flexible. Most cleaners come weekly, but I’ve found that I sometimes don’t need it that often, because we are away, or I’ve done some cleaning myself. We’re not so dirty and untidy that I need her
more than once a week, I’m happy to say!
How proud are you? Here’s what I do: the evening before my cleaner comes I spend about an hour tidying up, putting away the washing and sometimes even giving the bath and kitchen sink a quick wash.
Before my cleaner comes! A good friend recently admitted that she does the same thing, and for both of us it’s a question of pride. I know I pay my cleaner to clean my dirt, but I don’t want her to see how messy and grubby it has become since the last time she came. She’d think we were a family of pigs! This is very common, so don’t feel silly if you give your house a quick once-over before she comes—it shows you have some pride left after all. Just don’t spend hours or it defeats the object.
Trust. You have to trust your cleaner one hundred per cent as she may well have access to your house keys, which means access to everything inside as well. If you find the change you dropped down the back of the sofa neatly put to one side, you are probably quite safe.
Tough talk. Becoming friendly with your cleaner is essential, because you want her to like your home and so clean it as well as she can, not chip the paint on the skirting board with the hoover nozzle or try on your jewellery while you’re out. But you also need to maintain some kind of distance, because at the end of the day you are her employer, not her best mate, and you may need to have the occasional quiet word if standards are starting to slip, as they might do over time. It’s a fine balance, but you need to be able to tell her when she’s not cleaning behind the taps properly or never empties the upstairs bins any more, without blushing or feeling rotten about it. If you’re on good terms she won’t mind being told this at all—it’s better to say so than spend money and still have a dirty house!
In or out? I am usually in when my cleaner comes, because I work from home and she comes on one of my ‘work’ days. This has its benefits: I know that she does the full two hours, she can let me know when we’re running low on products and we can have a friendly chat before and afterwards. If you’re always out when your cleaner comes it’s hard to tell just how much time you are getting for your money, and it also means you have to trust her with a key to get in.
Doing it yourself. I sometimes give my cleaner a rest for a few months, if the cash isn’t flowing quite as it might, or if I just fancy doing it myself for a while. Housework is fantastic exercise (I work up a huge sweat and ache for days after a big three-hour cleaning session) and I do all the bits that she misses. It’s also a great way to do a lot of sorting out, because you’ll come across all sorts of odds and ends that needing fixing, organising or throwing out as you whiz about the place with the polish. Finally, doing it yourself means you save a lot of money, so you can treat your family to something special after a few weeks—drinks are on me!
Keeping it quiet. Not everybody feels comfortable with the idea of having a cleaner. I still find it quite embarrassing—it’s like having staff or something, and I feel like a posh lady of the manor when I say I have one. This is mainly because I live in a very un-showy area where being down-to-earth is admired and giving yourself airs and graces is detested—which is how I like it. But if you want a cleaner, or feel you need one, then go for it. Don’t be ashamed or feel you’re being pathetic by not doing all the housework yourself: you’ll probably find everyone else either has one already or follows suit very soon, when they see how relaxed you are in your gleaming home!
Bluffer’s guide
If you are having friends round and your house needs a quick tidy up or clean, then here are some one-minute wonders to fool the keenest eyes:
Clear surfaces. It doesn’t mater where you hide the junk, but clear, tidy sideboards, shelves, coffee tables and tables give an immediate sensation of cleanliness and order. Find a cupboard and chuck it all in, then sort it out properly when the visitors have gone. Similarly a pile of dishes drying on the draining board looks messy, so quickly put it away and give the draining board a wipe to make it gleam: ta da!—a clean kitchen.
