Sally. Freya North

contemplating my merits as child-bearer and biscuit-baker this very moment. I must remedy the situation, reassert myself as a veritable vamp, a tough cookie, a steel butterfly. But how?

      ‘Hello, Richard?’

      ‘Sal! Enjoy the Zoo?’

      ‘Very much.’

      ‘Pop over?’

      ‘Now? Ten-thirty?’ Sally was in her red nightshirt (a present from Diana), fluffy green bed socks, an old tatty cotton scarf in her hair. ‘Sure,’ she purred, already scrambling out of her night clothes. She slipped on a black skirt and polo neck and declared to the African Violet that all was not lost. She hovered at her front door and then returned to her bedroom where she derobed and then dived back into her nightshirt. She drew the line at the socks and scarf, dabbed on a little perfume and slipped on her pumps. She covered up with her long trench coat, partly as protection against the drizzle, partly because what was underneath was for Richard alone.

      It felt exciting to be going out when normally she would have been going to bed. But she also felt old and bemused, remembering how University nights would not yet have started. The roads were fairly empty and the traffic lights were on her side. She enjoyed hearing the fizzy whish made by wheels on the wet tarmac, seeing the sparkling orange flecks on the road cast by the street lights. It took less than twenty minutes, without breaking the speed limit or jumping amber lights, for Sally to arrive and park in Notting Hill where the bars were still throbbing and the bright young things would be enjoying tapas for a good while yet.

      The lift in Richard’s building was old and cumbersome. The door had to be opened, the grille coaxed back then cranked closed, the floor selected with an assertive press and then an infuriating delay tolerated until the instructions registered. In the chug between ground and first floors, Sally had an idea. As first floor came and went, she unbuckled and unbuttoned her coat. By the time the lift was approaching the second floor, she had her nightshirt over her head. The lift stopped and so did Sally’s heart. But nothing happened and no one was there. Was the machinery trying to tell her something? It juddered on up and, for a delicious few seconds between the second and third floors, Sally stood completely naked.

      The young lady who got out of the lift on the fourth floor smiled sweetly at the pizza delivery boy who got in. He watched her saunter down the hall and thought how well her long mac suited her. Sally’s knickers were still in the lift but he presumed them to be a handkerchief and, having recently recovered from a cold, he kept a clear distance. (They were discovered by the porter the next morning who sincerely hoped that nothing untoward had happened. In twenty-seven years he had never once had a pair of knickers lurking in this lift. Handkerchiefs and scarves maybe. Knickers, no. Mr Stonehill from Flat C tutted with him and said it was a disgrace.)

      Richard answered the door, enveloped in his towelling robe. He kissed Sally on the cheek and before he had a chance to ask her more about the school trip, about her job, her colleague the elephant lover – all of which he was keen to know – Sally had pulled him towards her and nearly suffocated him with the deepest kiss imaginable. Her carrier bag fell to the floor and Richard’s penis soared skyward, pressing somewhat uncomfortably against the buckle on Sally’s coat.

       Let’s undo that for starters.

      Go on, Richard, unbelt me, unbuckle me, unbutton me, see what you can find. Richard had the belt off immediately and, still enmeshed in her kiss, he began to fumble with the buttons which were big but sat tight in their button holes.

      I’m enjoying this! thought Sally.

      I’m enjoying this! thought Richard.

      When Richard had all the buttons undone, he slipped his hands under the lapels to push the coat away. Sally’s soft shoulders greeted him. What has she got on? he wondered, images of black lacy basques and cream, silky camisoles assaulting his mind while he glued his mouth to Sally’s and shut his eyes with the pressure of pleasure.

       What has she got on? Nothing? Nothing! Goddo!

      Sally felt the muscles of Richard’s lips break into a smile. She pulled her head back to look at him and he looked at her, naked, glorious and right there in his apartment. She raised her eyebrows in a cheeky quiver and he tutted before grabbing her towards him and planting a scorching kiss on her right breast.

      They made love, there and then, by the door which was still ajar. Sally later had to take her mac to the dry cleaners. When she left at 7 a.m. Richard pressed a little paper bag into her hand before sending her to school with a kiss on the forehead, a nip on the lips and a smack on her bottom. In her rush to race home, shower, dress appropriately for a teacher and make it to assembly, Sally forgot about the packet until morning break. Sitting on the toilet, she unscrunched the bag and saw it had London Zoo and a tiger design emblazoned on the front. Out of it she tipped a small keyring. In the shape of a penguin.

      ELEVEN

      When can love begin? And can you fight it? When does love begin and when should it? But can you fight it?

      Richard fell in love with Sally that morning at the Zoo. In a moment. He was as sure as his walk that he was in love with Sally Lomax. He felt peaceful and content about it. And happy. Secure. He didn’t bother to pontificate on what love is or should be, whether it was possible or realistic to feel love and know it after just a few meetings, meetings in which physical desire had, after all, played a dominant part. Sally had never stopped to think whether she might fall in love with Richard, too busy was she making sure that he didn’t fall in love with her but was instead subsumed by lust for her. Richard certainly lusted after her, but now he lusted out of love. Sally was blind to that love, she judged her happiness and success solely on the rigidity, endurance and explosion of his penis. Consequently, she completely neglected any exploration of her own subconscious, devoting all energy to new and invariably more outrageous seduction situations.

      But, Sally, you are so lovable, togged up in your old Swan Lake tutu and turning up at Richard’s a mere two hours after you had left one Sunday night. Who could not love a girl who pulls her man into the ladies’ toilets to give him a blow job after an overlong Belgian film? Or guides his hand under her skirt beneath the table of a dinner party so he can discover she has on no panties. And Sally, your eyes are artless and provide a short cut into your soul; Richard has gazed at them, beyond them, often. Your smile is so full and real and alluring. He sees your face, Sally, in ecstatic rapture as you climax under him, on top of him, on his hand, on his mouth. He watches you and he feels he could burst with desire.

      But he watches you when you do not know it. He observes you as you watch the News and he sees your face crease in anguish for war victims, for beached whales, for families of the murdered, for the women who were raped. And he gazes at you for hours while you sleep, he watches you while you stare out of windows at nothing in particular. What he sees, he loves. Laughing at penguins. ‘Gracious Good Lord’. He sees the tears film over your eyes at the close of a play, the end of a film, as you finish a novel. Richard watches you all the while, but you don’t know it. Richard is in love with you but you don’t see it. You will, you will. And then how will you feel?

      Richard wanted to sing his joy from the roof-tops, to swing from the steeple and proclaim it, to climb trees and laud it. Instead, he informed Bob quite casually over their customary post-workout swift half.

      ‘Where are you spending Christmas? Want to come for lunch? We’re also having a New Year’s Eve bash, can’t decide whether to have a theme or not. You know, come as a painting, come as a film. I could just see you as a Degas ballerina!’

      ‘I am in love with Sally Lomax.’

      ‘And he just said it, no prompting?’

      ‘He just came right out with it, I hadn’t even mentioned her.’

      Bob had ensured that it had indeed been a true and very swift half indeed and not the usual excuse for a two-pinter.

      He could not wait to tell Catherine. It really was ground-breaking