Neil White 3 Book Bundle. Neil White

other side of the glass, and there were no curtains or blinds at the window. It was later than the usual waking time, because they woke with nature, but the night before had been a late one.

      He waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust, and then looked towards the window again. There were other people moving elsewhere in the house, but he wasn’t ready to get up.

      He felt Gemma stir against him, her skin warm, her arm across his chest. His thoughts went back to the night before and he grimaced. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She’d been more excitable than normal and had chosen him again. He could have said no, that it wasn’t right, made up some excuse, but he didn’t. He gave in every time. It was the way she smiled at him, cute, coy, with large appealing eyes, and how she covered her mouth when she giggled.

      It was more than just her appeal though. He had needed the warmth and the closeness, although in the harsh light of morning he knew he shouldn’t have done it.

      Her leg moved across him and he pushed it away. The noises were getting louder in the house, and so he knew he had to get up. He moved her arm and slid out of bed, although that was a generous description for a mattress on the floor covered in blankets. Only a rug stopped his feet from hitting the cold wooden floor. He looked down. The covers had slipped from her. He shook his head. Gemma was too young, her shoulders thin and bony, her skin pale and mottled. Her face was too innocent for what had happened the night before, her nose small and dappled by freckles, wisps of mousy hair across her cheeks.

      He padded over to the window and looked out. He was naked, but it didn’t seem to matter whether anyone could see him outside. The view calmed him. They were on the top of a long slope, with mist in the deep valley below, just bracken and gorse for the most part, but clusters of trees broke up the hills and sheep dotted the slope on the other side. John liked the isolation, the countryside the same as it had been for hundreds of years, the chimneys and terraced streets in a different valley he couldn’t see. He looked down at the Seven Sisters, remnants of a stone circle in the field in front of the cottage, just seven stone fingers rising out of the ground in a grey crescent.

      They were in an old stone farmhouse, where everyone slept in cramped quarters, five to a room. The room he was in with Gemma was the exception, the party room, apart from Henry’s room, where he slept alone. The farmhouse owner slept in a room downstairs. John didn’t like to think of that, because he was neglected, too infirm to look after himself.

      There was a noise behind him. He turned round. Gemma was sitting up, smiling. He went as if to cover himself, but she laughed.

      ‘Too late to be embarrassed now,’ she said, her voice light and soft. ‘Nothing is wrong that is beautiful, you know that. Henry said that.’

      ‘I know that, but, well,’ and he shrugged.

      She reached over to the side of the bed and rummaged in a bag. She pulled out a spliff and lit the paper twist at its tip. That warm, cloying smell of cannabis drifted towards him. She took a hard pull and held it in, before letting it out with a cough and a smile. The first one of the day was always the worst. She leaned forward to offer it to him. ‘You’re free, babe. Leave your hang-ups behind.’

      He was reluctant, but she thrust it again and said, ‘Come on, it’s okay.’

      John went to her to take it from her and rolled it between his fingers, watching as the glowing tip turned soot-grey. He took a small drag and then hacked out a cough when he took in the smoke.

      She laughed. ‘I thought you were getting used to it,’ she said, and then flopped back onto the bed.

      ‘How old are you?’ John asked, his eyes watering from his coughs.

      Gemma wagged a finger. ‘I’ve told you before, details spoil a good time.’

      ‘It’s important though.’

      ‘But why?’

      ‘Because of what we did last night.’

      ‘You’ve so much to learn,’ she said, shaking her head, smiling. ‘You’re not bound by the old rules anymore. Freedom. Remember that word, John. It’s the whole point of us. Don’t you listen to Henry? The law is just what society says we cannot do, but we are not part of that society anymore. We are our own selves, free people, living human beings.’ She turned over and propped herself on her elbows, her chin in her hands. ‘Didn’t you enjoy it?’

      John looked at the naked stretch of her body. Her smooth back, her pert backside, and his mind went back to the night before. ‘Yes, I enjoyed it,’ he said, and a flush crept up his cheeks.

      She giggled. ‘I can tell,’ she said, looking at his groin.

      He took another drag on the spliff and then bent down to pass it back to her. She smiled as she took it, her features lost in a pall of sweet smoke, and there it was again, that disquiet that there was something too childlike about her.

      As Gemma took a hard pull, John asked, ‘Where did Henry go last night?’

      There was a pause as she held the smoke in her lungs. She smiled as she let it out again, and then said, ‘Why?’

      ‘Henry went out again, and he goes out a lot. I’m confused, that’s all. He wants me to give everything up for him, for the group, but does he give everything up for me?’

      Gemma sat up, her face more serious now. ‘You know things are happening. He has to arrange things, and so he has to meet people.’

      ‘But he could phone, or email or something.’

      ‘Haven’t you noticed yet, that we have nothing like that? They can trace where you are and intercept what you are saying. He told you that. Didn’t you understand?’

      ‘Of course I did. I just thought there must be a better way to organise things.’

      Gemma frowned. ‘You ask a lot of questions.’

      John paused before he answered. ‘Just curious, that’s all.’

      Gemma looked at him, her head cocked, serious for a moment, and then she asked, ‘So how old are you? Thirty?’

      ‘Twenty-five,’ he said. ‘I’ve got an old face, that’s all.’

      ‘I like your face,’ she said, her voice softer. ‘Come here.’

      He shook his head. ‘I don’t think we should. I can hear people moving around.’

      ‘Henry told me to make you happy,’ she said, and then she giggled, her hand over her mouth. ‘I can see that you are happy.’ Gemma parted her legs. Her hips were bony and thin.

      John closed his eyes for a moment and tried not to think of how she had been.

      ‘Is Henry always going to approve everything?’ he said, and opened his eyes again. ‘How can we be free if we need Henry’s approval?’

      ‘Are you questioning Henry?’

      John shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t do that, you know that.’

      ‘We have to fight for our freedom,’ Gemma said. ‘You do believe that, don’t you? We are building for something big that will make everyone take notice, and if you don’t believe that, well, there’s no point.’

      John nodded, and took a deep breath. ‘I believe in us, you know that.’

      ‘So come back to bed, because if Henry decides that this shouldn’t happen anymore, it will stop, and I don’t want that, because I want to please you. And you want to please Henry, don’t you?’

      He nodded. ‘Yes, I want to please Henry.’ His voice sounded weak.

      John went to the bed again. Gemma’s arms went around his neck and he felt her body begin to press against his. He closed his eyes as his resolve weakened, as she guided him towards her.

       Chapter Six