DISHONOUR. Jacqui Rose

full well no real punishment could be dished out to him. The person who was supposed to reprimand him was the person he’d hit. And the person he’d hit had taken him out of his cell, letting him use the phone when he shouldn’t. Stalemate.

      ‘All right Freddie? A hooker for your thoughts?’

      It was Eddie Davidson. An old acquaintance of Freddie’s and a fellow lifer; sent down for putting an axe in his long-term girlfriend’s head. A couple of months ago he’d been moved from Parkhurst for trying to start a riot, transferring to the same prison as Freddie but to a different wing, making this the first time they’d had a chance to meet up. Freddie smiled.

      ‘You know how it is Eddie. But good to see you mate.’

      Eddie sat down, glaring at another prisoner who’d come to sit at the same table but catching Eddie’s hostile stare, thought better of it. ‘I wanted to thank you for getting me moved to your wing Freddie. Appreciate it mate.’

      Freddie waved away the thanks. ‘Turn it in Eddie. You and me go back a long way. The minute I heard you’d been bounced here I had to make sure you were looked after. I couldn’t have you holed up with the nonces on E-wing. Anything you need, come to me.’

      Eddie smiled, showing off a mouth of neglected teeth. ‘I’m the one who owes you pal, so if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.’

      ‘To tell you the truth Eddie, it’s just good to see an old face. I could do with the company.’

      Freddie stopped abruptly as his food was put in front of him and waited for the lag to walk away before he continued. Pushing his food round the plate and putting anything looking like onions to the side, he talked, trying to keep his voice free of the emotions which were gnawing away at him. ‘I’m struggling here Eddie. Finding it a bit rough. You heard about Ray-Ray?’

      Eddie nodded his head. ‘Yeah, I’m sorry.’

      ‘Cheers. He was given a good seeing to before they crisped him with acid. Odd thing is, nobody’s come forward to say who did it yet. I don’t know what to do mate, it’s crippling me up. I’m stuck in here and I need to be out there finding whoever did this.’

      ‘You’ve no idea who?’

      ‘I’m racking me head and no one comes to mind; but in saying that, everyone comes to mind. You’ve got no fucking friends in this business. My son needs me. I want to get out and put me ear to the ground. Get it sorted and be there for him. And then the other thing doing me nut in is …’

      Freddie paused and glanced at Eddie, deciding if he should confide in him. But there was no need, the look in his eyes seemed to give Eddie the clue he needed to guess. ‘You worried about Tasha?’

      Freddie shrugged his shoulders as he pictured the way Tasha had walked away from him in the hospital. ‘A bit. I dunno, she seems different somehow. I know it’s hard on her me being in here, but I’ve done bird before and she never behaved the way she is doing now. You know, stuff like not answering my calls, cancelling visits. I asked her where she was when Ray-Ray was attacked; she couldn’t give me an answer. I’m at a loss mate and I don’t want me brain imagining things which might not be true. But I know she’s angry with me. Blames me for what happened. And a woman scorned and all that …’ Freddie trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

      Eddie gave a wry smile. ‘Seriously? You’re asking me? I’m not exactly the best person to get marriage counselling from.’

      Freddie blinked then leaned back in his chair roaring with laughter, remembering the reason Eddie Davidson was doing life.

      Starting to eat his apple crumble, Freddie listened as Eddie bent forward and spoke in a whisper.

      ‘What you need to do is break out.’

      Freddie looked at him in bemusement. ‘This ain’t the 1960s Ed, and it certainly ain’t Midnight Express.’

      ‘I’m being serious.’

      Freddie stared at him. ‘You and I both know people don’t escape from prison; not any more anyway, and certainly not from a high-security one. Nice thought though.’

      ‘Freddie, hold up. I’m not saying to break out from here; you wouldn’t stand a fucking option mate. Pull me up if I’m wrong but I’m presuming you’ll get compassionate visits to go and see Ray-Ray in hospital?’

      Freddie raised his eyebrows, and for the first time since the conversation had started, he began to take some real interest in what Eddie was saying. ‘Yeah, go on.’

      ‘Well, I know it’d be no good either to try to do a runner from the hospital but going there or coming back. Different matter entirely. What you got to lose? You’re serving minimum of what? … ten, fifteen years?’

      ‘Twenty-five.’

      Eddie whistled, shaking his head. ‘Fuck me. Twenty-five long ’uns for killing a nonce. World’s gone mad.’

      ‘Eddie, remind me to come to you when I need cheering up won’t you?’

      Eddie grinned; thankful they could both hang onto their sense of humour. ‘Okay, so you’re burning a quarter. If you’re lucky you’ll be out in eighteen, maybe fifteen, but it’s still a long time.’

      ‘This still ain’t helping.’

      ‘Think about it; money’s not going to be a problem to you when you’re out, so the only two headaches you’ll have are finding the muppets who thought they could get away with turning Ray-Ray over, and sorting out the missus. And once that’s done, you get on a plane and live happily ever after, sipping sangrias in the sun.’

      ‘Sounds easy when you put it like that, but ain’t you forgetting the one small matter of how I’m actually going to get from being inside a reinforced prison van to lazy days in the sun?’

      ‘You’ve got enough men to sort out being sprung.’

      ‘The being sprung part ain’t the big pain Ed, though it’d still take some doing. The authorities being clued-up is the pain. They don’t take chances now. Each time they take me to see Ray-Ray, they’ll use a different route. They could easily add another two hundred miles on, just so we don’t go the same way.’

      ‘That’s where I come in.’

      ‘I’m desperate to get out to be there for Ray-Ray, so much so I don’t even know how I’m even going to get through the next few hours, but that don’t make me stupid Ed.’

      Pushing the bowl of cold apple pie to the side, Freddie sighed and started to get up from the table. He liked Eddie and trusted him, but he certainly didn’t want to talk shit with him. Half the inmates in prison spent their time talking about escape plans; the other half spent their time feigning their innocence.

      Freddie understood it was a way of the men coping, but personally, he wasn’t interested in living in a fantasy world. His way, whether he liked it or not, was to face the time he had in front of him. He wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to get his head round it, but bullshitting himself wasn’t an option.

      Eddie continued. ‘I know a driver who works for the security firm who provides the transport for here. He sorts out the rosters so it won’t be a problem for him to be the one who works the day you visit Ray-Ray. He’ll also be able to tell us the day before which route he’ll be taking.’

      Freddie sat down. His mind was racing. What he was hearing sounded almost too good to be true. ‘Is he trustworthy?’

      ‘Yeah, trust isn’t the issue. I’ve known him a while and sorted out a few things in the past for him.’

      ‘So what’s the issue then?’ Freddie paused, squinting his eyes and letting Eddie have a flash of the hardened face everyone was scared of. ‘What’s in it for you Ed? I know you and me have a history, but I also know no one in life gives a bag of candy without wanting a blow job in return.’

      Eddie