Boxen: Childhood Chronicles Before Narnia. Walter Hooper

      ‘My dear Puddiphat!’

      ‘Delighted Mr Vant. Evening Waggon: you know Reggie the cod – no? Mr Vant – Mr Waggon.’

      The bird was resplendent in his evening dress & piqué shirt. He moved off.

      ‘Why your Majesties. I am much honored.’

      Presently Phyllis Legrange walked up.

      ‘Good evening Miss Legrange. You have never met their Majesties? His Majesty King Benjamen – Miss Legrange etc. Take the rest said.’

      ‘Good evening,’ said Bunny nervously, ‘Er – have you been to Sangaletto?’¹

      ‘No,’ replied Miss Legrange, ‘I never go to operas.’

      ‘I hate them,’ said the rabbit, feeling it was what he should say.

      ‘Oh Your Majesty! That’s very bad taste.’

      Then they both laughed politely.

      Meanwhile the host was busy elsewhere. ‘My dear Beetle!’ he said to Hedges, ‘How are the railways? Hullo Chutney. Good evening Miss Leroy. Colonel Chutney – Miss Leroy. Miss Leroy – Colonel Chutney. Why there’s Fortescue. How’s trade? Have you heard Sangaletto? No? – Oh you should.’

      ‘Who’s singing Sangaletto himself?’ inquired the ’jah who had come up.

      ‘Vön Oscar Wûlles. He’s awfully good your Majesty. I suppose you’re going?’

      ‘’Fraid so,’ said the monarch.

      ‘Why,’ broke out the Owl, ‘Don’t you know Miss Leroy?’

      ‘Oh yes,’ said the Rajah, ‘I had the pleasure of being introduced at Chutney’s ball last season.’

      ‘Friends,’ announced the host, ‘Supper is ready.’

      ‘May I have the pleasure?’ said the ’jah to Rosée Leroy, while Bunny applied the same question to the amiable Phyllis. The whole party adjourney to the supper room where the table groaned under cold ham & chicken, salads, oysters, wines & other delecacies. Everyone got freer & more interesting. Walking Waggon told his best stories, Puddiphat made doubtful jokes & the rest talked, listened & laughed. The ’jah related stories about the Little Master, who was heartily laughed at & afterwards toasted. Then followed toast upon toast, their Majesties of course leading the list. Then as the last stroke of 12 ceased to vibrate, the Owl said, ‘Let us take the air.’

      With that they issued forth, hatless & bootless to roam the city.

      VIII

      On the night of the eventful Saturday the Little Master had been to a select political debate at Sir Goose’s chambers & was returning in his brougham at 2 in the morning. Leaning back upon the luxurious cushions he had almost fallen asleep when the strains of a music hall song sung by many voices startled him,

      ‘Oh Mister Puddiphat

      Where did you get that ha-at?’

      Such a staid & sober individual as the Frog was annoyed at the idea of any party going out after supper in this manner. Without reflecting who the bounders were he dozed off again. Suddenly –

      ‘Now down D. street we will go

      That’s the place for us you know

      Whoop!!’

      just besides the coach, which had abruptly stopped. Next instant, to his untold horror, the door was flung open & a crowd of people stood outside.

      ‘Morning, Sir’ cried one merrily. It was the Owl!

      ‘Puddiphat!’ cried Big in horror. ‘And (he gasped) your – your – majesties!’ It was only too true. There, before the little-master’s gaping eyes stood the sovereigns of Boxen, bare-headed, & worse, singing a music-hall song at 2 in the morning, & worse & worse each with a music hall actress!! Behind them surged Pig, Beetle & the others.

      ‘Your Majesties,’ said he icily, ‘come in & come with me to the palace!’

      ‘Not at all Big’ protested the ’jah. ‘You come out.’

      ‘Your Majesties! By a little-master’s authority I request you to come. Upon my word if you don’t I’ll resign!’

      ‘But what’s the matter?’ asked Bunny.

      Soon however the kings sulkily got in, the doors were shut, & the carriage swept on. As soon as they were settled Big said, ‘Boys. This is awful.’ ‘But my dear Big –’

      ‘Benjamin!!’ this sternly. The rabbit collapsed onto the seat.

      Then Big muttered in a dull fatalistic way he had when annoyed, ‘You ought to be deposed.’

      ‘Wish we could,’ laughed the ’jah.

      Seeing that he could make no impression on them the Frog was silent while the carriage rapidly drove to Riverside where at last all three thoroughly annoyed staggered to bed.

      IX

      His Majesties gunboat Thrush to which Mr Bar belonged in the capacity of Purser & Master of the commisariat was a tidy vessel of some 500 odd tons. Five of her crew birthed aft, namely Murray, the skipper, Hogge the 1st officer, Williamson, the gunnery officer, Macfail, the 1st engineer, & last but not least Bar the purser. Just at present she was a day out from Murry on her voyage to Floe, & it was the captain’s watch. Suddenly the look-out reported the Pig-liner Dolfinian on the port bow. Quarter of an hour later the two boats were within haling distance of one another, & Captain Murray ordered the other to stop. In a short time the gig was lowered & the inspection was made. Among other casual facts which the captain happenned to notice was that the 1st mate was a Prussian. Bar only among the Thrush’s crew realised that it was Glohenman’s brother & how he had got there.

      A day later after the Dolfinian had got in Green & Philip Glohenman sat in the Inner of the Murryman’s rest.

      ‘Well my friend,’ said the parrot, ‘Your brother, as you see, is safely in the Pig line.’

      ‘Yes, my dear bird. I can never express my gratitude.’

      Polonius looked sharply up.

      ‘Eh! What about my cliqueship?’

      ‘Mr Green?’

      ‘I thought we had a bargain.’

      ‘No, no, Mr Green.’

      The parrot was furious.

      ‘You promised me a cliqueship,’ he repeated doggedly.

      ‘My good bird, this parrotlike repetition is most annoying.’

      Leaving the speechless bird, the Prussian rose & strode out. The unfortunate Green was unable to compell him to carry out their compact. He of course could not bring it before a court or he would be putting his own head in the noose for blackmail. Suddenly he remembered that he had arranged to go with Macgoullah that evening to Sengeletto.

      X

      On the Friday after the ever memorable Saturday the Murry Opera House was crowded with people