The Life She Wants. Robyn Carr

not a bullet. She never mentioned New York; she said they’d lived in Ohio. On the line that asked for her last address, she made up a completely fictitious address in Akron. She decided to come back to California where she grew up, where she had a few friends and some sparse family. It was a little dicey when people asked, in a friendly way, “Who are your friends? Who do you hang around with?” At which point Emma began to have secret, imaginary friends. “Oh, my girlfriend Mary Ann who I went to school with and a cousin, Jennifer, who’s married with two kids. Then there’s Ruth, my favorite aunt who’s only four years older—I’m close to them.”

      The women on the housekeeping staff she worked with were exceptionally friendly, reaching out to her, warning her about the supervisor who was a dragon lady named Glynnis Carlson. Glynnis was short, wore a forty-year-old hairstyle with one silver slash in front, came upon them like an unexpected storm and without even raising her voice threatened their very lives for having a cell phone out, for disposing of soiled linens wrong, for leaving streaks on the floor or porcelain, letting their carts get overladen or worse, understocked. And that was nothing compared to the way she berated people who weren’t keeping up with their assigned area, which was very hard because nurses and aides were constantly summoning housekeeping. They didn’t help with cleaning up beds or patients, of course, but anything that hit the floor was passed on to the housekeeping staff. There were a lot of messes that hospital staff didn’t handle. The horrid ones.

      “Be glad you’re not in the ER or the operating room. Wear a mask and never work without gloves, just change them out,” advised Barbara, one of the cleaning staff who had been around for years. “Wrap as much mess as possible in the linens, careful not to get any plastics or papers in them, get them down the chute fast as you can. Let it be laundry’s problem. They transfer it all with big sticks and hooks.”

      There was a lot of that in a hospital. The doctors passed it off to the nurses, who passed it to the orderlies and aides, who passed it to housekeeping, who passed it to laundry.

      It was hard, ugly work, but steady and among decent people. Emma had never been shy of hard work and she was growing confident and a little bit happy. She had work. She had just enough money and didn’t require much to live on. Life in her tiny bungalow was compact and uncomplicated. Not only were her coworkers nice to her but the patients and their visitors were also pleasant, and under the direst of circumstances—illness. Cleaners weren’t allowed to have traffic with patients—they weren’t trained for that. But there was nothing preventing them from being cordial, going for an extra water jug for flowers, calling nurses when they saw a problem. “Just don’t touch them,” the dragon lady said. “Not even if one of them falls. Switch on the emergency light and stand by.”

      “Not even if they fall?” Emma asked, aghast.

      “All you need is to help someone off the floor and break their neck or something. You’ll lose your job and the hospital will get sued. You never move an accident victim. You let the professionals do that.”

      “Makes sense, when you put it that way,” she said.

      “Think of them all as accident victims,” Glynnis said. “Just get their bathrooms clean.”

      But despite these terrifying warnings, Emma warmed to the patients, particularly the elderly. Little old people were so vulnerable when ill and she found she couldn’t turn away. The old women loved her and the old men loved her more, and she just couldn’t stop herself from offering the occasional sip of water to someone who was struggling with the tray table or a glass. It pleased her to hand a wet washcloth to someone who needed it. She even stayed late and read to an eighty-five-year-old blind woman, though she was careful to ask the dragon lady for permission first.

      “I’m not allowed to help you to the lavatory,” she told the woman. “I’m so sorry. But I’ll get the nurse.”

      “I hate the nurse. I’d rather it be you.”

      “Oh, I’d be happy to, but the housekeeping staff has been threatened with dire consequences if we break the rules, even just slightly. I’m not trained in patient care. Let me get that nurse and I’ll stay with you until she comes.”