The Manny. Holly Peterson

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Название The Manny
Автор произведения Holly Peterson
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Серия
Издательство Зарубежный юмор
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780007369331



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so. But you’re offering more than they make.’

      ‘So is the salary more important than a set career path?’

      ‘I’m on a set career path. Listen, are you trying to convince me not to take this job?’

      I put my tough reporter hat on. ‘OK, let’s talk turkey.’ I took a sip of water. ‘You’re living in this year’s hip new Brooklyn neighbourhood, even I know that. You’re personable, smart and well educated, and of course I’m not trying to scare you off. But I need to know how you feel about working in someone’s home when your friends are becoming teachers and agents? Would that be …’

      ‘Be what?’

      ‘You’re almost thirty. Do you mind taking a job like this?’ I crossed my fingers under the desk. ‘In a household with kids?’ I hated saying that out loud, reminding him he was a guy with a graduate degree on an interview to become a Park Avenue nanny. But I also didn’t want him ditching us after a week when he realized what he’d agreed to. ‘I mean, not that it isn’t, you know, substantive; some consider it a calling to work with kids … have you ever even heard of the term “manny”?’

      ‘No. But now that you say it, I get it right away.’ He laughed. ‘Now I’m remembering. Britney Spears has one.’

      ‘Well. I mean, for her, that’s a bodyguard guy. I think the word “manny” sounds kind of …’

      ‘What?’ I was thinking demeaning, but I didn’t say it.

      He leaned in closer. The leather on the chair squeaked. ‘I think the word “manny” is hilarious.’

      ‘So you don’t mind it?’

      ‘First of all, I’m never going to be a suit.’

      ‘But you have worked in offices.’

      ‘Not happily.’

      ‘Like at the Denver Educational Alliance? You didn’t list a reference from there.’

      ‘I’d been there for fourteen months doing a study. You’re not going to get a reference.’

      ‘You mind telling me why?’

      ‘Happy to. They do great work, but the founder’s a passive aggressive guy who likes to make his colleagues miserable, and, frankly, I told him so.’

      ‘You told him he was passive aggressive?’ What will he think of me? A lame Park Avenue mother trying to have it all.

      ‘Not in those words. Well, maybe I used that term, but I was very clear and respectful when I said it. Listen, someone had to say it. My boss was a complete jerk. And one day we were in a meeting, and, as usual he was completely undermining a colleague, a woman whose work was top-notch and I just couldn’t take it. Anyway, I said all the things I knew everyone else was thinking.’

      ‘That’s, I guess, impressive.’

      ‘You know what? I didn’t tell you that to impress you. Just to show you I don’t like the BS that goes with the structure of an office. This is why I like kids. Because kids tell you what they mean. First time out. And if you just listen, they have an innate sense of fairness that I totally respond to.’

      ‘I get that.’

      ‘I also like working independently. Honestly, your job sounds good. I can’t do a full-time gig right now, and the job would let me work on the computer project whenever I’m not needed during the day, with Dylan in school. I assume I would go home after he’s asleep, right?’

      ‘Yes. Carolina lives in, so she’s fine to cover if we’re out or something.’

      ‘And the other kids?’

      ‘Sometimes I might need you to pitch in. It’s hard in a family with three kids just to focus on one child at a time.’

      ‘Makes sense, but I’m not totally experienced with little kids.’

      ‘The regular nanny will be there all the time. I’m going to need you in the mornings sometimes too, just for drop-off mostly if I am travelling or whatever.’

      ‘If I’m available, sure. Depends on how the software’s going. How often do you think that might be?’

      ‘Like a few times a week.’

      ‘That’s fine. If I can.’ I was getting the impression this guy wasn’t meant for the service industry.

      ‘And you’re sure this position is something for you …?’

      ‘Scout’s honour.’ He put two fingers in the air. ‘Listen, if all goes according to plan, my project should hit in about eighteen to twenty-four months. And when that bang happens, Dylan’s going to be off and running like new.’

      I laughed. ‘Sounds like a plan. So you like New York?’

      ‘I do. But also, my backers are here. All the technology funds are here …’ He looked down. ‘And … and there’s a little situation at home I don’t need to be around.’

      ‘A situation? Something I should know about?’

      ‘Nah. No big deal.’ He looked up with a slightly crooked smile. ‘Sorry. It’s personal.’

      Charles had done a thorough background check including his criminal record and there was nothing. Besides, I didn’t want to pry. At least, not then.

      ‘But I do have one problem,’ Peter said.

      ‘This is an interview. You’re not allowed to have a problem yet.’

      He smiled. ‘You told me Dylan’s dad is gone all the time. You can buy someone’s time and attention, but it is not the same as a dad. And for what the job pays, I don’t want to disappoint you – or him – from day one. Dylan’ll figure out right away I’m pinch-hitting for his father. How do you think he’ll feel about that?’

      I knew Dylan would do just that. But I also felt that Dylan would have such fun with this cool guy that he wouldn’t focus on it.

      The door banged open. A bright canary-yellow flash whooshed through. Abby, breathless, clad in a brand-new suit looking like a car rental agent.

      ‘You’re never going to believe this. There’s another fucking Theresa Boudreaux tape!’

      Wow. Maybe I had a shot at career redemption. ‘I knew this wasn’t over. I just knew it! Are you sure? How do you know?’

      ‘Charles.’

      Charles appeared and leaned against the doorway. He eyed Peter, then me, reticent to talk business in front of yet another manny candidate.

      Peter already had his hands on the armrests, ready to stand.

      ‘Peter, sorry. I’ve got a little situation here. There’s a chair right outside my office.’

      He gave a little wave to Abby and Charles, then closed the door behind him.

      Charles piped in, ‘That guy is a major piece of ass.’

      ‘Please. This is a professional environment.’

      ‘And it’s really professional to interview your mannies here.’

      I ignored that. ‘So what do you hear?’

      ‘I hear these tapes blow the other ones out of the water.’ Charles clasped his hands together. ‘Plus whatever tapes she gave the Seebright people were crap anyway. You couldn’t really hear a thing and I hear these new tapes are the real deal.’

      ‘Doesn’t make sense. If you’re going to talk, just talk.’

      ‘Maybe she liked the publicity but held back. Maybe she had some kind of scruples that are now gone.’

      ‘Oh, c’mon. Scruples nothing.’

      ‘The point is that