Simply Said. Sullivan Jay

originally thought the message should be something like: “We must have a strong risk management system in place so that we stay out of jail.” Clearly, this message did not fit our suggested message criteria in that it was:

      ● Too long and not easily repeatable (17 words)

      ● More negative than upbeat (albeit somewhat “listener directed”)

      After applying our message criteria, his revised message for the meeting became “Let’s actively manage risk so it doesn’t manage us.” His partners heard the message loud and clear but also jumped on board to support risk management’s new policies and procedures.

Lisa Bennis, Former Managing Partner, Exec|Comm

      Avoid Jargon

      We all spend most of our time interacting with other people who do what we do. As a result, we start to think that our internal dialogue, understood intuitively by our colleagues, is understood by everyone. We forget how much jargon has crept into our vocabulary. Jargon promotes efficiency when used with our colleagues, but it becomes problematic when we fail to recognize it as jargon and use it in inappropriate settings. Challenge yourself – first, to always recognize jargon, and second, to eliminate it when it will get in the way.

      Every industry and every discrete function within a company develops its unique jargon. Accountants, lawyers, IT professionals, and HR generalists all use phrases that mean something specific to them and their colleagues. Jargon allows us to be efficient when speaking with others in our field. However, jargon is misconstrued by, or completely unintelligible to, the general population.

      Most of the time, we don’t realize we are using jargon. A few years after joining Exec|Comm, I was in Washington, D.C., working with a small group of partners at a law firm. At the start of the day I chatted with a few of the partners to get to know them better. One of them, a litigator, mentioned that he had three grown children. When I asked where they all lived, he responded, “They live in three different venues,” using a legal term that impacts the jurisdiction for a case. Anyone else would have said, “They live in three different cities” or “They live all over the place.” Only a litigator would mention where his kids live based on the county in which he would have to file a lawsuit against them. He didn’t realize how steeped he was in his own jargon.

      Focus On The Audience

      As we mentioned in the introduction to this book, your message is never about you, and it is rarely about your content. It is always about how your audience– your listener or reader —needs to use your content. To craft an audience-focused message, ask yourself: “What does this audience need to learn by attending this meeting?” Let’s say a financial analyst is delivering a “morning call” announcement about a key stock he is covering. His audience includes a large number of bankers who would like helpful information for potential calls to their clients.

      An analyst-focused version:

      I have revised my thesis about Acme. Months ago we advised that Acme’s fundamentals were sound and that adjustments to the company’s structure being implemented by management would reverse certain adverse decisions made previously. We have revisited this issue and now believe..

      If I’m the financial advisor listening to this call, I’m already bored. The analyst has used the first 15 seconds of a three-minute call to talk about himself and his thought process. I have yet to hear anything I can use on a call to my client.

      An audience-focused version:

      Call your clients today and recommend that they sell Acme. Our “buy” recommendation a few months ago was the right decision at the time, and now it’s time to change tack.

      In the first two sentences the analyst has given the advisors their key message for their phone calls to clients. He has focused not on his content, but on how his audience needs to use his content.

      You won’t know how quickly certain members of your audience will form an opinion. Give your audience the bottom-line information so if they make a snap decision, that decision is based on the proper content. Your audience will rarely take the appropriate time to consider fundamental issues about their situation. Therefore, for your sake, and for the sake of your audience, keep your key message short, easy to understand, and focused on the audience’s needs. You will improve your ability to have impact.

      When Building Rapport

      Sometimes we communicate in a professional context simply to build rapport. While many business decisions are based on analytics and credentials, just as many are based on the personal connections people feel with one another.

      You should be proud of what you offer your clients and customers. It’s unique. It’s based on your intellect, your experience, and the weight of your firm or company standing behind you. What you offer your clients is, in fact, special. Unfortunately, from our clients’ perspective, what most of us offer is a fungible good. They can get great quality products or services from us, and if they aren’t getting the right level of service or the right price point, they can cross the street and get equally great products or services from someone else. That’s not bad news; that competition keeps us all on our toes. It makes us strive to be better and keeps us from falling into complacency. It’s that combination of pride and humility that makes our business lives dynamic.

      Because we all work in a competitive marketplace, we have to build relationships. People have to want to work with us or it’s too easy to go work with someone else. How can we communicate in a way that builds rapport?

      Let’s go back to the basic concept that we’re all self-focused. Again, that’s not a criticism; it’s a reality. When someone asks in a casual conversation, “How are you?” or “How was your weekend?” we should each assume the person is making polite chitchat, not looking for a deep analysis of what’s going on in our lives or the minutia of our kid’s birthday party. Usually, a simple “The weekend was great. Pretty low key. Just family stuff” is sufficient, followed by, “How was yours?” When the person responds with a similar level of detail, ask one or two questions. Then you’re done. Rapport built. Now segue to work. Assume no one is that interested. If someone asks for more details, feel free to provide some. Of course, these are not hard-and-fast rules. If your first sentence about the kid’s party is, “Well, once we got the bouncy castle out of the tree and the fire trucks left.,” you’re entitled to a few more sentences. Keep going.

      And, of course, you must factor in cultural etiquette issues. In some cultures, you build rapport and then build business. In many cultures, building rapport is the first step in building a relationship, and it’s only after there is a genuine relationship that you move on to building business. In that setting, the “How are you” isn’t a casual inquiry. It’s really “So, who are you?” There’s an interest in and an attempt to get to know the you under the surface. In those situations, be ready for a longer conversation, to provide more substantive responses, and to ask deeper questions yourself.

      Always stay positive. If a colleague or client asks about your recent vacation and you start with “It was awful! We were miserable!” then guess what? You still are. No one wants to hear that. Share the awkward moment, the ridiculous expense of your friend’s Vegas bachelor party, or the challenge keeping your teen engaged while visiting grandma’s house; those things make us all human. But after a sentence or two, only your closest friends care, and even they are getting bored. Build rapport by staying positive and turning the conversation back to the other person. Part of building rapport is learning about the other person. If you’re talking, you’re not learning.

      Some of us struggle to make small talk. Here’s the easy approach. Start with what’s immediately in front of you. If you arrive for a meeting with a customer or client and the weather is bad, comment on the rain. If you’ve never been to their offices before, compliment the décor and ask how long they have been in this space. If you’re at an industry conference and you’re in the buffet line, a simple “Wow. They really put out a nice spread here” is all you need to start a conversation.

      Many