Business Writing For Dummies. Natalie Canavor

message you send must be well crafted and well-aimed, regardless of the medium or format. The challenge is to make people care enough to read your message and act on it in some way. The following sections explore the tools you need to ensure your bottle reaches its target, that the target is moved to take the message out, and that the message makes the impact you desire.

Connecting instantly with your reader

      Only in rare cases do you have the luxury these days of building up to a grand conclusion, one step at a time. Your audience simply won’t stick around.

      

The opening paragraph of anything you write must instantly hook your readers. The best way to do this is to link directly to their central interests and concerns within the framework of your purpose.

      Suppose you’re informing the staff that the office will be closed on Tuesday to install new air conditioning. You can write:

      Subject: About next Tuesday

      Dear Staff:

      As you know, the company is always interested in your comfort and well-being. As part of our company improvement plan this past year, we’ve installed improved lighting in the hallways, and in response to your request that we …

      Stop! No one is reading this! Instead, try this:

      Subject: Office closed Tuesday

      We’re installing new air conditioning! Tuesday is the day, so we’re giving you a holiday.

      I’m happy the company is able to respond to your number one request on the staff survey and hope you are, too.

      

One of the best ways to hook readers is also the simplest: Get to the point. The technique applies even to long documents. Start with the bottom line, such as the result you achieved, the strategy you recommend, or the action you want. In a report or proposal, the executive summary is often the way to do that, but note that even this micro version of your full message still needs to lead off with your most important point.

      Notice in the preceding example that the subject line of the email is part of the lead and planned to hook readers as much as the first paragraph of the actual message. Chapter 6 has more ideas of ways to optimize your email communication.

Focusing on what’s-in-it-for-me

      In marketers’ terms, the acronym is WIIFM (what’s-in-it-for-me). The air-conditioning email in the preceding section captures readers by telling them first that they have a day off, then follows up by saying that they’re getting something they wanted. Figuring out what’s going to engage your readers often takes a bit of thought.

      

To make people care, you must first be able to answer the question yourself. Why should they care? Then put your answer right in the lead or even the headline.

      If you’re selling a product or service, for example, zero in on the problem it solves. Rather than your press release headline saying,

      New Widget Model to Debut at Expo Magnus on Thursday

      Try:

      Widget 175F Day-to-Night VideoCam Ends Pilfering Instantly

      If you’re raising money for a nonprofit, you may be tempted to write a letter to previous donors that begins like many you probably receive:

      For 25 years, Freedom’s Path has helped incarcerated women transition to the outside world by providing job training, counseling, and support services. Your donations have been essential to equipping young transgressors to …

      This sounds worthy but yawn-inducing. Would you respond better to a letter that opens more like this?