The Blunderer. Жан-Батист Мольер

we should have no need now to think of and try to find out what means we must employ in compassing our wishes; we might, by purchasing this slave quickly, prevent your rival from forestalling and thwarting you. Trufaldin, who takes charge of her, is rather uneasy about these gipsies, who placed her with him. If he could get back his money, which they have made him wait for too long, I am quite sure he would be delighted to sell her; for he always lived like the veriest curmudgeon; he would allow himself to be whipped for the smallest coin of the realm. Money is the God he worships above everything, but the worst of it is that…

      LEL. What is the worst of it?..

      MASC. That your father is just as covetous an old hunk, who does not allow you to handle his ducats, as you would like; that there is no way by which we could now open ever so small a purse, in order to help you. But let us endeavour to speak to Celia for a moment, to know what she thinks about this affair; this is her window.

      LEL. But Trufaldin watches her closely night and day; Take care.

      MASC. Let us keep quiet in this corner. What luck! Here she is coming just in the nick of time.

      SCENE III. – CELIA, LELIO, MASCARILLE

      LEL. Ah! madam, what obligations do I owe to Heaven for allowing me to behold those celestial charms you are blest with! Whatever sufferings your eyes may have caused me, I cannot but take delight in gazing on them in this place.

      CEL. My heart, which has good reason to be astonished at your speech, does not wish my eyes to injure any one; if they have offended you in anything, I can assure you I did not intend it.

      LEL. Oh! no, their glances are too pleasing to do me an injury. I count it my chief glory to cherish the wounds they give me; and…

      MASC. You are soaring rather too high; this style is by no means what we want now; let us make better use of our time; let us know of her quickly what…

      TRUF. (Within). Celia!

      MASC. (To Lelio). Well, what do you think now?

      LEL. O cruel mischance! What business has this wretched old man to interrupt us!

      MASC. Go, withdraw, I'll find something to say to him.

      SCENE IV. – TRUFALDIN, CELIA, MASCARILLE, and LELIO in a corner

      TRUF. (To Celia). What are you doing out of doors? And what induces you to go out, – you, whom I have forbidden to speak to any one?

      CEL. I was formerly acquainted with this respectable young man; you have no occasion to be suspicious of him.

      MASC. Is this Signor Trufaldin?

      CEL. Yes, it is himself.

      MASC. Sir, I am wholly yours; it gives me extreme pleasure to have this opportunity of paying my most humble respects to a gentleman who is everywhere so highly spoken of.

      TRUF. Your most humble servant.

      MASC. Perhaps I am troublesome, but I have been acquainted with this young woman elsewhere; and as I heard about the great skill she has in predicting the future, I wished to consult her about a certain affair.

      TRUF. What! Do you dabble in the black art?

      CEL. No, sir, my skill lies entirely in the white.

      [Footnote: The white art (magie blanche) only dealt with beneficent spirits, and wished to do good to mankind; the black art (magie noire) invoked evil spirits.]

      MASC. The case is this. The master whom I serve languishes for a fair lady who has captivated him. He would gladly disclose the passion which burns within him to the beauteous object whom he adores, but a dragon that guards this rare treasure, in spite of all his attempts, has hitherto prevented him. And what torments him still more and makes him miserable, is that he has just discovered a formidable rival; so that I have come to consult you to know whether his love is likely to meet with any success, being well assured that from your mouth I may learn truly the secret which concerns us.

      CEL. Under what planet was your master born?

      MASC. Under that planet which never alters his love.

      CEL. Without asking you to name the object he sighs for, the science which I possess gives me sufficient information. This young woman is high-spirited, and knows how to preserve a noble pride in the midst of adversity; she is not inclined to declare too freely the secret sentiments of her heart. But I know them as well as herself, and am going with a more composed mind to unfold them all to you, in a few words.

      MASC. O wonderful power of magic virtue!

      CEL. If your master is really constant in his affections, and if virtue alone prompts him, let him be under no apprehension of sighing in vain: he has reason to hope, the fortress he wishes to take is not averse to capitulation, but rather inclined to surrender.

      MASC. That's something, but then the fortress depends upon a governor whom it is hard to gain over.

      CEL. There lies the difficulty.

      MASC. (Aside, looking at Lelio). The deuce take this troublesome fellow, who is always watching us.

      CEL. I am going to teach you what you ought to do.

      LEL. (Joining them). Mr. Trufaldin, give yourself no farther uneasiness; it was purely in obedience to my orders that this trusty servant came to visit you; I dispatched him to offer you my services, and to speak to you concerning this young lady, whose liberty I am willing to purchase before long, provided we two can agree about the terms.

      MASC. (Aside). Plague take the ass!

      TRUF. Ho! ho! Which of the two am I to believe? This story contradicts the former very much.

      MASC. Sir, this gentleman is a little bit wrong in the upper story: did you not know it?

      TRUF. I know what I know, and begin to smell a rat. Get you in (to Celia), and never take such a liberty again. As for you two, arrant rogues, or I am much mistaken, if you wish to deceive me again, let your stories be a little more in harmony.

      SCENE V. – LELIO, MASCARILLE

      MASC. He is quite right. To speak plainly, I wish he had given us both a sound cudgelling. What was the good of showing yourself, and, like a Blunderer, coming and giving the lie to all that I had been saying?

      LEL. I thought I did right.

      MASC. To be sure. But this action ought not to surprise me. You possess so many counterplots that your freaks no longer astonish anybody.

      LEL. Good Heavens! How I am scolded for nothing! Is the harm so great that it cannot be remedied? However, if you cannot place Celia in my hands, you may at least contrive to frustrate all Leander's schemes, so that he cannot purchase this fair one before me. But lest my presence should be further mischievous, I leave you.

      MASC. (Alone). Very well. To say the truth, money would be a sure and staunch agent in our cause; but as this mainspring is lacking, we must employ some other means.

      SCENE VI. – ANSELMO, MASCARILLE

      ANS. Upon my word, this is a strange age we live in; I am ashamed of it; there was never such a fondness for money, and never so much difficulty in getting one's own. Notwithstanding all the care a person may take, debts now-a-days are like children, begot with pleasure, but brought forth with pain. It is pleasant for money to come into our purse; but when the time comes that we have to give it back, then the pangs of labour seize us. Enough of this, it is no trifle to receive at last two thousand francs which have been owing upwards of two years. What luck!

      MASC. (Aside). Good Heavens! What fine game to shoot flying! Hist, let me see if I cannot wheedle him a little. I know with what speeches to soothe him. (Joining him). Anselmo I have just seen…

      ANS. Who, prithee?

      MASC. Your Nerina.

      ANS. What does the cruel fair one say about me?

      MASC. Say? that she is passionately fond of you.

      ANS. Is she?

      MASC.