Лучшие смешные рассказы / Best Funny Stories. Джером Клапка Джером

to be in love with him, but we know she is not. And Johnson pretends to be a very terrible person; and Mrs. Johnson pretends, till eleven o’clock, to believe it. And we pay money to sit for two hours and listen to them.

      But as I explained at the beginning, my friend is a mad person.

      Упражнения

      1. Выберите правильный вариант:

      1. We make believe about quite serious things.

      2. We make believe about quite stupid things.

      3. We make believe about quite incredible things.

      4. We make believe about quite common things.

      ОТВЕТ: We make believe about quite serious things.

      2. Where does a young man, who is in love with Angelina, live?

      1. in Bayswater

      2. in Dover

      3. in London

      4. in Notting Hill

      ОТВЕТ: in Notting Hill

      3. Who is the Prince of Wales?

      1. It is a title granted to princes lived in Wales.

      2. It is a title granted to princes born in England.

      3. It is a title granted to princes married in Wales.

      4. It is a title granted to princes born in Wales.

      ОТВЕТ: It is a title granted to princes born in Wales.

      4. How many cigars did a Customs House official find?

      1. 35 cigars

      2. 48 cigars

      3. 24 cigars

      4. 53 cigars

      ОТВЕТ: 48 cigars

      5. “Jovial” is NOT…

      1. amiable

      2. festive

      3. angry

      4. good-natured

      ОТВЕТ: angry

      6. What does it mean “to save time”?

      1. to have extra time

      2. to do useless things

      3. to have a good time

      4. to sleep

      ОТВЕТ: to have extra time

      7. Выберите правильный вариант:

      1. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to hell.

      2. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to heaven.

      3. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to London.

      4. When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to Scotland.

      ОТВЕТ: When I was a child, I was very surprised that everybody went to heaven.

      8. What is Mrs. Johnson’s paper house?

      1. a hut

      2. a car

      3. a bathroom

      4. a castle

      ОТВЕТ: a castle

      9. Who must be a people of wonderful self-control?

      1. English

      2. French

      3. German

      4. Scottish

      ОТВЕТ: English

      10. Выберите нужный глагол:

      She must __________ for the stage.

      1. dance

      2. gain

      3. go

      4. train

      ОТВЕТ: She must train for the stage.

      11. Выберите нужные глаголы:

      Our host’s wine – — always the best we – — ever tasted.

      1. was, will

      2. is, have

      3. is, are

      4. has, have

      ОТВЕТ: Our host’s wine is always the best we have ever tasted.

      12. Выберите нужный предлог:

      Any society is founded _________ the make-believe that everybody is charming.

      1. on

      2. in

      3. at

      4. after

      ОТВЕТ: Any society is founded on the make-believe that everybody is charming.

      13. Ответьте на вопросы:

      1. How many actors are mentioned in the story?

      2. What are their names?

      3. What have you learned about make-believe?

      4. What do you like and what don’t you like in Miss Screecher?

      5. What would you do if you were Mrs. Johnson?

      6. What is the end of the story?

      7. How can you explain the title of the story?

      8. Retell the story.

      14. Заполните таблицу:

      ОТВЕТ:

      Why We Hate the Foreigner

      The advantage of the foreigner is following: he is born good. He does not have to try to be good, as we, the Englishmen, do. He does not have to start the New Year with the decision to be good, and succeed till the middle of January. He is just good all the year round. When they tell a foreigner to mount or descend from a tram[44] from the right side, he will never try to descend that tram from the left side.

      In Brussels[45] once I saw a lawless foreigner who was trying to enter a tram from the wrong side. The door was open: he was standing close beside it. A line of traffic was in his way, so he just entered when the conductor was not looking, and took his seat. The astonishment of the conductor was immense. How did he get there?

      The conductor was watching the proper entrance, and the man had not passed him. Later, the true explanation came to the conductor, but he hesitated to accuse that man of such crime.

      Anyway, the conductor appealed to the passenger himself. Was his presence a miracle or a sin? The passenger confessed. The conductor requested him to leave the tram immediately. The passenger refused to do so, a halt was called,[46] and the police arrived. As usual, they appeared from the ground.[47] At first the sergeant did not believe the conductor’s statement. Myself, in the passenger’s case,[48] I would lie. But he was proud, or stupid – one of the two, and he told the truth. The

44

to mount or descend from a tram – входить или выходить из трамвая

45

Brussels – Брюссель

46

a halt was called – была объявлена остановка

47

from the ground – из-под земли

48

in the passenger’s case – на месте пассажира