The History of almost Everything. Practical guide of the eaters of Time. Lim Word

never gets access to the sea: it is now hampered by the Albania formed from the «nobody’s» territory, as well as Austria-Hungary, which has sharply opposed this newly-formed country.

      All this time Russia collects donations, provides the Balkan Union of volunteer pilots, makes diplomatic efforts, etc., but, by and large, does not interfere in the conflict. The reason for this is the influence on the decisions of Tsar Grigory Rasputin. It was his admonitions that put off the outbreak of World War II for two years.

      July 12, 1914 in the village of Pokrovskoe, the insane Khionia Guseva, strikes Rasputin with a knife in the stomach. Three years later this woman will be released from the hospital, in 1919 she will commit an attempt already on the patriarch Tikhon; after which its traces in History are completely lost.

      Sooner or later, the First World War begins. July 31, Russia is launching a general mobilization. Germany announces to the Empire an ultimatum: «Stop the deployment of forces,» and, not having achieved the desired, on August 1, 1914, declares war.

      Rasputin is in the Tyumen hospital until August 17 and, this time, the king is no longer able to reason with the king. Its basic provisions sound unacceptable, insanely, for the greater part of society in this century: the rejection of foreign Poland and the Baltic countries, withdrawal from the Russian-British alliance, a separate peace with Germany, then still imputable. Somewhat later, on December 30, 1916, he died in the palace of Yusupov, from the bullets of Russian nobles and (a control shot in the head) by British agent Oswald Rainer, incidentally, the friend of the executioner prince in Oxford. England wants Russia to wage this war.

      Alternative version – a bullet in the forehead of Rasputin sent Dmitry Pavlovich (Romanov), a cousin of Nicholas II.

      The Empress Alexandra orders her arrest of the killers (except for the Englishman from MI6). But, all of them are inviolable as «higher» noblemen, and, after the intervention of Nicholas II, «not to provoke society» are released. They will not suffer any punishment afterwards.

      …In 1906 agrarian unrest reached a menacing extent. Forests of the landowners consider themselves theirs and require a certain payment for using them. Peasants believe that this is legalized robbery, such as charging money for air, and produce unauthorized felling. They also «dismantle» estates, breaking up barns and dismantling supplies, inventory, and taking away cattle. The homesteads themselves are rarely burned – in most peasants still respect personal property.

      The government cancels redemption payments, but this is too little. Then the Minister of the Interior PA Stolypin, ignoring the sluggish sessions of the Duma, in October of the same year, introduced a law on the sale of state lands to peasants. The farmer finally gets a release from the «tsarist collective farm» – restricting freedom and the private initiative of «peace.» He has the right to demand this. The community’s land is being developed, instead of a few strips located in remote locations, the peasant (not even his family as a willful «peace») receives a compact «cut». Here you can put the household. Thus, the village crumbles into the farmsteads that have been adopted in Europe.

      The idea is gaining popularity, but, to implement it, it needs new clarifications, a staff of professional surveyors, lawyers, and banking services.

      Hundreds of thousands of peasant families move to the Far East. 500 thousand farms are based in Kazakhstan. In the summer of 1916, the government of Nicholas II made an attempt to mobilize part of the Kazakhs and Turkmens for rear work in the frontline areas; it will cause an uprising of the autochthonous population, attacks on the colonists. In the end, 600,000 locals migrate to China; call succeeds 100 thousand.

      In 1911 the agrarian reform was deprived of the chief conductor – Count Stolypin; although it does not slip noticeably, but loses its scope, capable, perhaps, of leading to the triumph of law and private property.

      July 1914 marked the introduction of «dry law». Consumption of ethanol per capita is reduced tenfold, from 4.7 to 0.4 liters per year. Now, according to the Ministry of Health, 10 liters are drunk in Russia, taking into account the latent production and consumption – 15 liters, recommended by the World Health Organization (maximum) dose – 8 liters. Strong drinks are sold only in expensive restaurants. In 1917, already the Soviet government, prolongs the operation of this law. August 1923 – «dry law» is canceled, NEP comes. The civil war is over, the country is recoiling from the gap that has opened up in front of it.

      Much later, on May 17, 1985, a decree «On strengthening the struggle against drunkenness» will be issued. And, again, the greatest state, overwhelmed by surpluses not calmed down by the oldest antidepressant of energy, self-destructs.

      …In September 1915, Nicholas II assumes the title of Supreme Commander-in-Chief. This decision is unconditionally supported by his wife, in all likelihood, approved by the German General Staff, but not by Russian ministers and generals. Germany by that time occupies a large part of Poland and the Baltic states – nominally the possessions of Russia. All the military failures of the Empire anyway, now directly undermine the authority of the king. Instead of establishing contact with elements of civil society, for example, active military-industrial committees, according to the ancient Russian custom, the suspicious Nikolai tries to ban everything. Of course, this does not suit him, and the people, for the good.

      Still not so bad, the ambitious monarch overcomes dreams of the Straits and Constantinople, the shores of the Sea of Marmara and southern Thrace, the islands of Imbros and Tenedos. This is the alleged prize for the participation of the Russian Empire in the war. However, with all the clarity on this occasion, representatives of Britain and France at the Petrograd Conference of 1915, do not speak.

      Soldiers do not understand what they are fighting for. Yes, Germany started the war, in response to the usually pre-emptive attack, the beginning of mobilization. But, all this could be prevented by diplomatic methods at the very beginning of the conflict. At least it was necessary – not to start active actions, to sit in dugouts, to drink «tsarist» 100 grams (suppose the emperor issued a popular manifesto on abolishing the «dry» law for the front). The Germans of the beginning of the century are quite normal people, why should they be killed? On paper, «hit the enemy» looks pretty beautiful, practice means kicking a bayonet into the stomach and a confused, horrible and painful look such as you are of a person. Even if the Germans occupied part of Poland and Lithuania – these are territorial entities and people alien to Russia, the Russian peasant, the soldier, personally, mentally, they are not needed.

      At the end of 1916, irregularities with bread began. In the conditions of military hyperinflation, peasants massively hold grain, expecting further price increases (or maybe, somehow trying to bring their protest against the war to the tsar). All this leads to the fact that the government is beginning a transition to a surplus-purchase at firm prices. There are clashes with the police. The outreach practically fails. Instead of 772 million poods, only 170 poods can be collected. The rations for soldiers in the frontline zone (3 pounds of bread a day) are halved.

      Something similar, however, is happening in other belligerent countries. In Germany, before the sea blockade, Britain imported up to a third of the food, «ersatzes» get a mass distribution – cheap substitutes for coffee, sausages and other products. In a broad turn – a rutabaga, a two-year-old plant of the Cabbage family (a vitamin tops with a heavy tuber).

      Recipe for «Eaters of Time»:

      Grigsbrot («Kriegsbrot») – «Military bread» – 55% of rye, 25% of wheat, 20% of potato powder, sugar and fats.

      Pea sausage – pea flour with the addition of fat and beet juice. One measure of pea flour (crushed grain), two measures of water. Beat and put on a slow fire.

      In a separate container mix a little water, vegetable oil, garlic, salt, pepper, beets or beet juice – to get the mass of the color of the doctor’s sausage. Beat. When pea mass turns into a thick mashed potatoes, mix with our pink sauce and slices of fat.