Pride and Prejudice, a play founded on Jane Austen's novel. Austen Jane

looks at Mrs. Bennet, half puzzled and smiling.]

Elizabeth

      Well, what is it, mamma? What is the matter?

Mrs. Bennet

      Nothing. Hush! What have you done with Mr. Collins?

Elizabeth

      [Laughing.] Oh, Mr. Collins is safe! He has gone round to the library.

Mrs. Bennet

      [With a sigh of relief.] How providential!

Elizabeth

      [Looking back.] But I have brought someone else with me.

      [Mr. Wickham and Charlotte Lucas come in gaily.]

All

      [Exclaiming.] Oh, Mr. Wickham!

Wickham

      [To Mrs. Bennet.] How do you do, Mrs. Bennet? This is indeed a pleasure. [Going over to Jane.] Miss Bennet, I am so glad to see you. [Reproachfully.] You were not with our party! [To Lydia.] Why do you never come to Meryton, Miss Lydia? Mr. Denny is quite downcast.

Lydia

      [Pouting.] La, Mr. Denny!

Wickham

      And many others beside him, Miss Lydia.

      [Lydia giggles. Wickham returns to Mrs. Bennet.]

Mrs. Bennet

      Well, 'tis an age since we saw you, Mr. Wickham. What have you been doing?

Wickham

      Colonel Forster keeps me so busy that I have no time for enjoyment.

Elizabeth

      Yes, Mr. Wickham bears all the marks of an harassed and overworked man.

Wickham

      [Bowing to Elizabeth.] Thank you, Miss Elizabeth. You have given me the very terms I needed. [To Mrs. Bennet.] You see before you, Mrs. Bennet, an harassed and overworked man. Miss Elizabeth will bear witness that I was on my way to a business appointment when I yielded to temptation and went off for a walk with her and Miss Lucas and their irreproachable escort.

Elizabeth

      And Miss Elizabeth will also testify that you yielded with the celerity and ease of long practice.

Wickham

      [Laughing; to Elizabeth.] But in this case who was the tempter?

Elizabeth

      Oh, I will admit that Mr. Collins was partially responsible.

      [All laugh.]

Mrs. Bennet

      Come, Lizzy, you have been talking to Mr. Wickham all the morning. Now, let some of the rest of us have a chance. [Turning to Wickham.] You must stay to dinner, Mr. Wickham.

Wickham

      I wish I might. That is indeed a temptation. But you know Miss Elizabeth has just reminded me of my duty.

Mrs. Bennet

      Oh, nobody ever minds Lizzy!

Wickham

      Truly, I cannot to-day, Mrs. Bennet. It is too bad, but I am to meet Colonel Forster [Smiling at Elizabeth] on important business at the Drake Farm.

Mrs. Bennet

      Well, I am very sorry.

Wickham

      [Hesitatingly.] I might perhaps bring Colonel Forster in for a few moments on the way back – that is, if we return this way.

All

      Oh, yes, do.

Mrs. Bennet

      Yes, indeed. Tell Colonel Forster we should be delighted to see him.

Wickham

      Thank you, I will. But now I really must be gone. [Bowing brightly to Jane and Lydia.] Good morning.

      [To Charlotte Lucas.] Good morning, Miss Lucas. You must let me hear more about those clever plans of yours. I am vastly interested in them. [To Elizabeth.] Good morning, Miss Elizabeth. [Laughing.] You must try to temper your justice with mercy the next time I join you in a walk. [Pausing, he looks at Mrs. Bennet, who is standing between her daughters.] Do you know, Mrs. Bennet, that you always remind me of one of my old schoolboy phrases. Filiæ pulchræ! – Mater pulchrior! Good-bye.

      [He runs off laughing. He has only gone a few steps when Lydia, who has been standing close to the door, runs out and calls to him.]

Lydia

      Oh, Mr. Wickham!

      [Wickham turns and Lydia runs up to him and whispers something in his ear. Wickham laughs, then shakes his finger at her, still laughing, and goes off. Lydia stops outside and watches him.]

Jane

      Really, mamma, I think you should speak to Lydia. She is too forward.

Mrs. Bennet

      Nonsense! You are jealous.

Jane

      Jealous! Of Lydia?

Mrs. Bennet

      Well, she is no more forward than any of you. All you girls are crazy about Mr. Wickham. [Indulgently.] But I can't wonder at it. He certainly is a most engaging young man. What were those French words he said to me as he went out, Lizzy?

Elizabeth

      They were Latin, dear. He paid a very charming compliment to our pretty mamma. He said – The daughters are lovely, but the mother is lovelier. You know papa always says that you are handsomer than any of us.

Mrs. Bennet

      My dear Lizzy, I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I don't pretend to be anything extraordinary now. [Mr. Collins enters.] Oh, Mr. Collins, there you are.

Mr. Collins

      [Bowing profoundly.] I do not find Mr. Bennet in the library, Madam. Do you know where he is?

Mrs. Bennet

      Why, really, Mr. Collins, I can't imagine. Did you enjoy your walk?

Mr. Collins

      Most assuredly, Madam. The beauties of nature, not only in the landscape, but also [Bowing to Elizabeth and Charlotte Lucas.] in the blooming countenances of my fair companions, made our expedition a peculiarly enjoyable one.

Mrs. Bennet

      Well, I am very glad of it, I am sure. [To Jane and Lydia.] Girls, we haven't told Lizzy and Charlotte the news.

Elizabeth

      What news, mamma?

Mrs. Bennet

      [Looking at Charlotte with an ill-concealed triumph.] Oh, nothing of consequence, Lizzy, only your father has just told us that we may expect a visit at any time from our new neighbour, Mr. Bingley, and that friend of his who is stopping with him.

Elizabeth

      Oh, Mr. Bingley! That will be entertaining. [Suddenly with mischief she turns to Mr. Collins, who all through this latter conversation has been staring at Jane with solemn persistence.] Do not you think so, Mr. Collins?

Mr. Collins

      [Starting from his absorption.] Eh? What? [Pompously again.] Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth, on what subject did you ask my opinion?

Elizabeth

      I asked you if you didn't think it was a very pleasant thing to meet new neighbours.

Mr. Collins

      Most assuredly, Miss Elizabeth, if those neighbours are possessed of those qualifications which redound to their own credit, and to the edification of their friends. Otherwise, as a clergyman, I must hesitate in my approval. [To Mrs. Bennet.] You realise, I am sure, Madam, the caution which should ever be exercised where my amiable young cousins are concerned.

Elizabeth

      Yes, mamma, you really should be cautious.

Mrs. Bennet

      Nonsense! Why, my dear Mr. Collins, we have found out all about them. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy are connected with some of the most respectable families in England.

Mr. Collins

      [In amazement.] Mr. Darcy? Mr. Fitzgerald Darcy! My dear Madam, can it be possible that you are to be honoured by a visit from him? Respectable indeed! Why, he is the nephew of my noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourg. It is true that I have never yet had the honour of meeting him – but he frequently visits his aunt, and she has promised to bring