Th' History o' Haworth Railway. Bill o'th' Hoylus End

plank as strayt as a arrow,

      An’ tipt it as weel as a navvy or delver.

                     Railway, &c.

      Saw yo the church so anshunt in history,

      Read yo the Latin words high in the steeple,

      Hear yo the sounds that arose from the belfry,

      It seem’d to be shaating along wi’ the people.

                     Railway, &c.

      Th’ Railway wur i’ iverybody’s maath, wat wi singin’ an’ shaatin’, them ’at cud do northur wisper’d in one anuther’s ears – Railway. But gettin’ to whear th’ ceremuny wur to tak place, th’ proceshun halted an’ formed itseln into a raand ring, an’ cheers wur geen wi’ shakin’ hats an’ handkerchiefs, which lasted wal thair showders an’ arms warked wal they’d hardly strength to shut thair maaths an’ don thair hats on. But hasumever they managed to get reight agean, an’ then a parson call’d Ned Oufield gat up an’ made th’ following narashun —

      Fellow countrymen an’ citizens o’ Haworth, it gives me gurt plezzure to see such a gurt event as this tak place i’th’ city o’ Haworth, namely, diggin’ th’ first sod o’ wat’s call’d Grand Trunk Line between Keighla an’ your native element, an’ reight pleased I am to offishiate as chairman on this occashun. Prehaps sum on you maint naw wat I mean wi’ yer native element; but I mean yer oud mountain side, ha naw yo like yer forefathers, yo love it dearly tho yer ancestors wur nowt but barbarians in th’ fourth and fifth centries, yet thay wur th’first to embrace christianity, which thay did in th’ year 600 be th’ Latin inscripshuns on th’ church steeple (loud cheers). And although yo been behind wi’ yor Railway, ye been up i’ different arts an’ sciences. Wot nashun my friends can boast of a majishun like yor owd Jack K-? (Loud Cheers). He wor a credit to yo’ all, an yo’ wur sadly indetted to him; he proffesied twenty year sin ’at this event wod cum to pass (a voice – ha wish he wur alive he sud be contractor), an’ if h’ed been livin’ to this day its a hundred to one but th’ Railwaw wud hev been made to sum weere else ner Keighla, for ha feel convinced et Keighla is not worthy of amalgamashun wi’ a rispectable city like Haworth. (Hear, hear.) For look wat insulting langwidj they’ve used to yo at different times. (Groans.) First, they sed yo mucked church to mak it grow bigger. Then yo walk’d raand taans post office at Keighla an’ thout it wur th’ cemetery, an’ to mak up for th’ lot, they call us wild craturs an’ mock wur pleasant dialect, wich is better English ner thairs. (Groans, which lasted for ten minits.) Yes, my fella citizens, yo’ve hed to put up wi’ a deal o’ slang fra theas uncultivated rascals. (We have.) An’ wats wur case nur all, you’ve hed to wauk, wet and dry, thro’ thick an’ thin, i’ all sorts o’ weather, to Keighla, wen you’ve wanted to go on th’ continent or to London. But soin yo can wauk slap to th’ train in a jiffey. (Loud cheers.) Mr. Oufield then thenkt his fella taansmen an’ wimen an’ ended his speech wi’ expressin’ his delight in th’ loyalty o’th’ people for th’ railway, an’ as th’ time wur fast waxin’ he begg’d leave to sit daan, which he did i’th’ midst o’ laad enthusiastic shaatin’.