Gino. Alexey Yrievich Komissarenko

She was indeed almost obsessed with cleanliness, terrified of dust and dirt.

      Gino liked that. They were even a little alike in their pursuit of sterility. She had been working for him for six months.

      When she heard the bell, which Gino used to summon her, Alba went up to the second floor and, opened the tall, massive door smoothly, and entered the bedroom with a haughty look of a senorita from a noble family.

      Trying on this role, she had a feeling of a «proudish bossiness.» Although, in fact, it was just a mask covering the nature of an immature girl in the search for herself.

      «Yes, Signor. Did you call me?» she asked coldly and deliberately.

      He gazed at her for a while.

      «Sorry for waking you up,» said Gino quietly. «This may not seem like a good time. But we need to talk.

      «It’s okay, Signor. What exactly do you want to talk about?»

      «Alba, I want to ask you something. Your answer is important to me!»

      «Yes, of course, sir. Ask me.»

      «Just be honest with me! Fine?»

      «Yes, I’ll try.»

      «So… Have you ever experienced a feeling for a man, similar to strong affection, like a longing to be together forever? That feeling that everyone so enthusiastically calls love! Or something?..»

      He paused for a moment to find the right words.

      «I think I understand what you want to talk about,» Alba suddenly interrupted his pause. «In fact, this is a sensitive subject for me. That’s why I don’t like all these sentiments and so on. But okay, I’ll be honest with you,» she continued in an arrogant tone.

      «I remember when I was little. My dad would often come home at night, drunk, with traces of lipstick on his shirt. My mom would meet him and ask him where he’d been and who he’d been with. He sent her to hell and used his fists. Then he would go to bed as if nothing had happened, and she would sit sobbing like an idiot in the corner of the kitchen.

      I asked her once. If she loved my father. Who couldn’t even be called a father. He never cuddled me, never hugged me. Well, I don’t remember his care and affection. I can’t remember! So, she said: of course, I love him, my daughter!

      What kind of love is there to talk about?! It’s just an addiction and nothing more! But many people live in such a nightmare. As a family psychologist, albeit with little experience, I «ve heard similar stories quite often.

      Now, years later, I have a question for all women who allow themselves to be humiliated like this: how can you love despots like my daddy and others like him?! Most likely, women do this not from a great mind!.. But my mom, as she thought, loved him. And that’s why she forgave him everything! And then one day he just didn’t come home. Disappeared, vanished. She was worried and couldn’t find piece. Calling friends, looking for him. And a few days later, a close friend of hers admitted that she’d been dating him for a long time. And daddy was living with her. That’s how it happens… In one fell swoop, love and friendship were gone.

      Then my stepdad came into my life. He was a real asshole. One day he opened the door to the apartment where we lived, completely naked. He nonchalantly said hello and locked himself in his room. I was super creeped out and I even threw up. I didn’t tell my mom anything. But it kept happening more and more often. Every time I was disgusted with his behavior. From that time on, I became wary of men.»

      Alba was speaking of her stepfather with contempt. Staring intently at Gino at the same time.

      Gino even thought she was addressing her speech to him.

      «Later, when I was fifteen, I met a very handsome boy from a neighboring street, his name was Michael. I realized that I liked him very much, and came to my mother to tell her about it. Mom listened to me and answered very harshly, and it wasn’t what I wanted to hear at all: «Daughter, I «ve lived a long life, and I know for sure that this is your first love. Sorry, my girl, but you must remember that men are polygamous and he’ll leave you when he meets another one. And then, a new man will appear in your life and he will love you, but you will be cold towards him.»

      Mom told me about her life with my dad and stepfather. It made my blood run cold, I was scared, but she continued trying to protect me from suffering: «Alba, I can’t give you a good advice what to do. I know one thing, if you are more unapproachable and cautious, your relationship may last longer. Learn not to lose your head over a man. I want you to be much happier than I am!»

      I’ve had several men in my life. And they’re all gone. They all just used me. Now, years later, I understand what my mom meant. That’s why I just want to be alone now.»

      Gino suddenly felt uncomfortable with the fact that he had already seduced Alba several times with his hypnosis. Even though, on the other hand, he knew, that despite the fact that respect for women in Italy is instilled in boys from childhood, a man’s nature is stronger. And women love men’s dominance over them. Of course, in case a woman has a sense of security coming from a man. But, what Alba had told him was a revelation.

      «Alba, tell me, do you have feelings for me?» asked Gino with hope in his voice, but somehow with a bit of skepticism. «But tell me the truth, even if I may not like it!»

      «To tell you the truth, just like that?» Alba got excited.

      Gino became concerned.

      «Well, actually, yes. As it is.»

      «OK, if you insist, I’ll be honest!

      You are always so cold and arrogant looking at me like I’m nothing. I’m just a servant to you. Part of the interior, nothing more. You’re asking how I feel about you?! Absolutely nothing, a vacuum! You use me, just like everyone else did. You use me because I’m helpless. You sleep with me whenever you want, as if I’m a call girl. But I am a person! I don’t understand why I don’t refuse you. I don’t feel anything for you at all. Sometimes you burn me with a sexual passion which I can’t control. I don’t know why. In fact, probably I sleep with you because I’m afraid of losing my job.

      With a smirk on her face she stood up and headed towards the door.

      «Please, don’t fire me,» she suddenly stopped before leaving. «I just couldn’t keep quite any longer, especially since you wanted to hear the truth. As my stepfather – a drunken poet, as he called himself, and a pervert and alcoholic in fact, used to say: «Emotions are a luxury, that sometimes even emperors cannot afford. Especially those emotions that are caused by Her Majesty the Bitter Truth.»

      Although, if you fire me, I won’t be too upset. There’s always a senior who wants to take in a young lady. But I don’t want that either. To be honest, it makes me sick!»

      All that was so sudden that stunned Gino became angry at what he had heard, and wanted to shout after her: «You need a psychiatrist! Drama queen!» But he dismissed the idea, realizing that it was his anger speaking. He held back because it was clear: Alba was being used by men, including himself. That’s why she’s so embittered.

      He decided to change from within, realizing that it was not about women, but about himself…

      Chapter 7.

      Fireplace

      When Alba left, Gino got out of bed, changed into a robe, and went down to the dining room. He went to the refrigerator, took out a piece of cold rare beef steak. He cut it up and began to eat it, washing it down with warm red wine.

      There was dead and, at the same time, deafening in its constancy silence in the house.

      Having finished his dinner, he wiped his lips with a white cotton napkin, tossed it carelessly on the table and headed for the living room.

      It