The Age of Misadventure. Judy Leigh

her arms and I instantly worry that I’ll lose her. We’ve been so close and I wonder what Luis must be like, to be able to lure her away, and if it’s only a glamour thing, a passing fancy. I clamp my lips together to stay silent.

      ‘I need breakfast. I’m hungry.’ Nan’s awake, her voice sharp and insistent.

      ‘Okay,’ I sigh.

      I feel like a frazzled mum, trying to cope with a badly behaved group of youngsters. But this crazy situation was my idea and I focus sharply on the purpose of it, keeping my mind on the prize. I’ll be with Jade, making sure my daughter isn’t throwing her life away on some frivolous relationship, and, in the same smart move, my sister’ll be miles away from her devious, cheating husband.

      I wave my hands, all smiles. ‘I’ll find us a café after Bonnie’s been to the ATM, then we’ll come back when the bank’s open. Are you all fine with that?’

      By half past twelve, Nan’s finished a hearty breakfast and everyone else has pushed away food they’ve hardly touched. Jade’s in a foul mood.

      We drive ten miles out of Edinburgh and I find a quiet car park and pull in. Nanny’s slurping the dregs of a chocolate milkshake through a straw. Bonnie immediately takes out her mirror and checks her make-up. Jade turns an angry face to me.

      ‘What are we doing?’

      ‘I need to sleep, Jade. I’m really tired.’

      She blows air through her mouth. ‘Oh, for God’s sake. Why don’t I drive for a bit?’

      ‘I’m not keen on you driving, Jade. It’s a long journey and you’re not used to this car. I’d rather drive.’ The excuse sounds weak in my mouth. ‘I’ll just sleep for a few hours. I’ll be fine.’

      I keep my thoughts to myself. I wish we could go north, have a fun time in Scotland, the four of us. It’d be lovely to have a break together. I consider suggesting it, but she’s already impatient to go south. Once Jade’s in Brighton, in Luis’ flat, I won’t see so much of her.

      She breathes out a loud sigh and goes back to her phone. I snuggle down in the seat and close my eyes. The radio rattles and I think about switching it off. The midday news comes on and I listen, half expecting a story about Adie. It’s the usual politics and sport.

      As I start to drift off, I hear Bonnie saying, ‘I wonder what Adie’s doing now.’

      Nan says, ‘Good riddance.’

      There’s a pause, then Bonnie sniffs. ‘Demi’ll be in Thailand. I’d like to go to Thailand.’

      Jade huffs. ‘I’d like to go to Brighton.’

      There’s a sniff at the back. Bonnie’s tearful. ‘Do you think I’ll ever see Adie again?’

      Nanny’s voice is firm. ‘He needs sorting out, that Adrian Carrick. No man should cheat on his wife. Wilf and I were married for fifty years and some. He never looked at another woman.’ She giggles. ‘Except once.’

      Bonnie cheers up. ‘What happened, Nan?’

      Nan’s laughing; I can sense her rocking backwards and forwards and I know her eyes hold an evil expression.

      ‘We were in The Bluebell with your mam and dad. It was New Year’s Eve and I’d had a couple of port and lemons. This drunken woman kept waving mistletoe in Wilfie’s face, pursing her big red lips, trying to get him to kiss her. I was livid.’

      Jade’s suddenly interested. ‘What did you do?’

      ‘I followed her to the toilets, got her by the scruff of her neck and told her to keep her hands off my Wilf or I’d poke her eyes out.’

      Bonnie laughs. Her voice is too high.

      ‘Then I got Wilf home and I asked him if he fancied her. He’d been on the whisky and he said he thought she had nice legs, so without thinking, I slapped him in the face with a smelly dishcloth.’

      Jade’s mouth must be hanging wide open. ‘Nanny …!’

      ‘He was so drunk, I thought he was going to keel over. The next day he couldn’t remember anything. He never touched the Jameson again.’

      It’s quiet inside the car and warm. I breathe out and sleep for what seems like an age. Then Jade’s shaking me.

      ‘Mum, can we go now?’

      I sit up. I’d slumped right down in the seat.

      ‘What time is it?’

      ‘Nearly six. Everybody’s been asleep.’ Jade’s face looms in front of mine. ‘We won’t make Brighton today, will we?’

      Nanny wakes up and grumbles, ‘I’m hungry. And tired. What’s going on?’

      I blink my eyes and realise that everyone’s staring at me. I examine the satnav.

      ‘Okay, how does this sound? We’ll drive to Kendal. That’s in the Lakes. We’ll find a B & B and stay overnight.’ I look at Jade and smile hopefully. ‘I’ll have us all in Brighton tomorrow.’

      Bonnie murmurs, ‘I don’t mind.’

      ‘Is that where the mint cake comes from, Kendal? I like mint cake but it sticks to my teeth. What sort of bed and breakfast will we stay in? I can’t abide those places with nylon sheets.’

      ‘No one has nylon sheets nowadays, Nan.’

      ‘And I want proper home-cooked food, Georgina. I can’t stand food if it’s not cooked properly. I don’t like burned meat. Or soggy vegetables that taste like sponge.’

      ‘All right, Nan.’

      Jade’s voice is low. ‘Can we just get going? I’ll have to text Luis and tell him I’ll be even later. I’ll tell him I’m a prisoner in a car with my mad mother who’s doing her best to keep me from getting to Brighton and I might not make it at all if my uncle Adie has anything to do with it.’

      Bonnie interrupts, her voice defensive. ‘Adie’s got a heart of gold, Jade. If your Luis loves you as much as my Adie—’

      Nanny cackles out loud. ‘Adie Carrick’s nothing more than a criminal. You’re too good for him, Bonnie, love.’

      Jade nods. ‘You’re right, Nan. Everyone knows about Uncle Adie.’

      Bonnie’s aghast. ‘What do they know?’

      ‘He’s always up to something. Sorry, Aunty Bonnie. My friends in town all laugh about it.’ Jade shrugs. ‘I’ve always stayed well away from him. He keeps bad company. I’ve heard he’s into all sorts: flipping houses, dodgy deals. I’m sure even Demi knows.’

      Through the mirror I see Bonnie’s little face start to crumple. I turn on the ignition and the engine rumbles.

      ‘Right, let’s get us all to Kendal. We’ll stop somewhere nice. We have money.’ I smile at Jade. ‘By tomorrow, we’ll all be in Brighton. Let’s make the most of this little jaunt, shall we? A nice soft bed, early start after breakfast. It could even be fun.’

      ‘Not my idea of fun,’ Jade mumbles and stares out of the window.

      I think about patting her arm, but I know she’d shrug me away. My heart aches with the thought that my daughter’ll be glad to move on, that we’ll part company and she’ll forget how close we were, like sisters. I drive into the darkness, my thoughts and the radio and the swerving beams of headlights buzzing in my head.

      We travel in silence for two, almost three hours. It’s almost nine o’clock. The petrol gauge is running low. It occurs to me that we should hang on to Bonnie’s money and my cash and use my card to fill up the tank. If Adie is somehow able to check on me, which wouldn’t surprise me at all with some of his dodgy contacts, I’d need to be somewhere obscure, and we’re still north of Liverpool so he won’t suspect we’re