My Stockholm Syndrome. Бекки Чейз

him. ′′And only now we know why.′′

      ′′Because no one will miss you that way,′′ I nodded understandingly.

      But I'm not a freak! I will be looked for. By Vika, at the very least. Most likely she's already flooded me with messages. And when she gets no answer, my friend will start calling the show managers. First she'll be fed promises that I'll call back after the competition is over, telling her about the privacy policy. Then she'd want to come, but it's unlikely she'd be able to trace my route from Krasnoyarsk airport. If Vika shows excessive zeal and succeeds in the search, she and Sergey will be killed as well. What relatives they have will not go beyond the TV show ′Wait for Me′. The show organizers have foreseen everything, choosing people from small towns, mostly lonely and unremarkable, and invited their entire families. Fitting into this group, like I was one of them, left me with a dismal feeling. My gloomy musings were interrupted by Ian who tried to pass me a joint. I kept stubbornly refusing but he wouldn't let up and made faces.

      ′′It's the best antidepressant, believe me,′′ he said. ′′See how mellow I am?′′

      His grimace made even Lesha snort loudly. But he immediately faded away in embarrassment seeing his father's stern gaze.

      The lights in the barracks were out so I could see the guys' faces only thanks to the lit end of the joint. Simon was squinting myopically, Barty was smiling, giggling intermittently, and Ian was staring off with an unfocused gaze. It was a wonderful group, a depressed Russian woman and three stoned American freaks.

      Ian passed out on the floor, not letting go of the joint. Simon and Barty, choking with laughter, dragged him to bed but they couldn't get him to the top bunk.

      When the guys fell asleep, I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat on the bed for a long time, staring at the only star visible through the narrow window. The silence in the barracks was broken only by the buzzing of the ubiquitous mosquitoes, the snoring of a German guy, and the heavy sobs of Laila. Even Diego and Snezhana finally fell asleep, having had enough of each other. As I listened to the night, I thought about how the day before I wanted to fail the competitions if I didn't like the show. Now that I hate everything going on around me, my only goal is to make it through. To win at least one more day without going through death's door.

      I woke up as dawn broke through the narrow windows of the barracks. Who knows, maybe this is the last day of my life. I have to make the most of every moment. I grinned. The second day of the hunt and I was already a philosopher. A lyrical poet. No, it really was easier when I was depressed.

      I got out of bed and cautiously looked out the window. The color of the cloudless sky brought tears to my eyes. It looked unnaturally blue, like it had been processed with a color filter. The guards were unloading thermoses of coffee and plastic-wrapped sandwiches from their carts. I learned from their conversations that the hunters had a lot of fun during the night. Stu especially hit it big. Hopefully the hangover would affect their marksmanship. The conversation suddenly died down as the Viking's girlfriend, in her tight T-shirt and gym shorts, was crossing the courtyard, apparently returning from her morning jog. She looked like a model in a sports commercial. When Sandra caught the guards looking at the slender huntress she shouted and they began unloading the cart, doubling their effort.

      After breakfast, pushed on by the gamekeepers, we went out to the area in front of the barracks where the hunters were already waiting for us. No one showed any signs of a hangover. The cowboy grinned, staring at the girls. I hid behind Simon's back.

      ′′Hey, Armand,′′ the Viking looked at the curly brown-haired hunter with the humped nose. ′′Wanna bet? Wanna shoot that blonde over there?′′

      Snezhana shuddered, and the brunette grimaced.

      ′′He's more into the muscle guys,′′ chuckled Stu, who obviously had time to brag to everyone about last night's successes.

      The Viking's girlfriend laughed too. Ignoring the mockery, Armand scrutinized the crowd, pausing to look at the sturdiest men, like the biracial man killed on the first day. A short, blond-haired man took a cigarette out of a pack and lit it.

      ′′Eric, are we hunting or not?′′ he asked the Viking, letting out a puff of smoke.

      ′′Patience, Frost,′′ he grinned. ′′Letty will take her pick now, and then we can begin.′′

      With a smile on her thin lips, the brunette studied potential targets displayed on the screen and then turned her gaze to the crowd. No one seemed to be looking at me. I hope none of the five deviants were interested in me yet. But before I could relax, the crowd parted before me, and Jason emerged. He grabbed my forearm roughly and dragged me along with him. My knees buckled from fear. Outcast shoved a screaming Snezhana out of the crowd too.

      ′′These two have an extra minute each,′′ he explained.

      I closed my eyes and took a breath, but the relief was replaced by panic. Oh, shit. Shit. Dammit! I'd agreed to run with Simon today. I looked at him questioningly, and he shook his head. No waiting, then. That's noble.

      In the woods we split up: Snezhana ran forward, and I, coming across a camera, turned towards the wall. The siren howled. I had to hurry.

      After about a kilometer, I realized that I had poorly remembered the way and had gotten myself lost in an unfamiliar spruce forest. I circled around it, trying to figure out the right direction, but no matter where I ran, the wall was nowhere to be seen. There was a clearing on one side, while the spruce forest turned into bushes on the other. Trying to avoid the cameras, I walked along the edge of the trees, staying away from the open space.

      There was a small hill far ahead, and I decided to go around it. When I went round an embankment, I had to duck – Armand was in front of me. The hunter drew his pistol and reached for his knife, but his hand froze midway. A gamekeeper in a leather vest stealthily appeared from behind and shoved me with the butt of his gun. I fell down to my knees.

      ′′Are you sure you don't want this one?′′

      Armand shook his head and started climbing up the embankment while the gamekeeper went around me, keeping his sights on me. I closed my eyes. He leaned over and hissed right into my ear:

      ′′Run!′′

      He didn't have to say it twice. I jumped up and dashed across the clearing.

      ′′Satyr,′′ Sandra's voice sounded in the radio behind me. ′′Stop fooling around and get her away from the wall!′′

      ′′Don't be jealous,′′ grinned the gamekeeper.

      I didn't hear Sandra's answer because I'd run a fair distance away from the gamekeeper. When the clearing and the embankment were far behind me, I sat down for a moment, catching my breath. If Satyr and Armand caught up with me, I wouldn't have to worry: the Frenchman wouldn't touch me – I was too minor a target for him.

      The wind was rustling the leaves in the trees overhead, the birds were chirping; as I closed my eyes and leaned my back against the tree trunk, I found myself enjoying the sounds of the forest. Perhaps nature could have cured my depression after the death of my loved ones. However, that would have been in that former life. In the present one, there was only the countdown to my own demise.

      A shot rang out in the distance echoed by Eric's contented voice and Letty's laughter. Forgetting the beauty of nature, I ran again. My legs carried me toward the wall. As I jumped over the creek, I landed on one knee. It was sure to leave a bruise, but it was more important not to damage the joint. Sitting on the ground, I carefully bent and unbent my leg, felt the bone, and tried to stand up: my knee hurt in both cases, but it was tolerable.

      ′′Poor thing hurt her knee,′′ the mocking chuckle of Outcast behind me took my mind off my leg.

      I'd forgotten to look around while I was nursing my leg! Not looking back, I dashed back across the creek. Two bullets hit the ground to my right. I fell onto the ground with my hands over my head, and the gamekeeper, whistling and hooting, kept firing at me, and only stopped when a pair of combat boots grew before my eyes. I looked up, already knowing whose face I was about to see. Given my pathologically bad