The Scout or Welcome to South Bermondsey. Алексей Авдохин

but he seemed to be doing a great job and didn't get into any fights. I simply couldn't miss the second episode of the show called "the setup from Iron Mikey" and found my way into the locker room.

      Our new coach was pleased with the "dedication and team pressure". I didn't even know Mikey knew such words. He was especially pleased with how the "Welsh faggots" ran to their dressing room with their tails between their legs and seemed afraid to come out for the second half. Well, that's what he said for good measure. Ours, of course, had also paid a price. Adam Varga couldn't even step on his left foot and Parker had a deep cut to his eyebrow, but Mikey was relentless, and his pumping up of the team ended with a roar of "For Harris!" What the blame of the blokes from Cardiff was for the resignation of the coach is something history is silent about but they had to be held responsible for this.

      Just before going back out onto the pitch I caught Mikey's arm.

      "My friend, get my cannibal off the pitch," I whispered softly, so that no one could hear me. "They'll rip his legs off."

      "Don’t worry Alex, don't piss yourself!" He smiled again. "Fabrice is a smooth bloke! We’ll play well!"

      He’ll play well of course.

      The second half matched the first. However, their coach had managed to bring his blokes to their senses during half-time, so City finally started playing football. We were saved by the fact that they had one less player than we did, although even with unequal squads they showed us what the difference is between playing football and "team pressure" from Iron Mickey.

      At the fiftieth minute they brought their striker into a killer position, but how he did not manage to score remains a mystery. Then a dangerous shot was made after a corner kick and at the end of everything, their captain fired a free kick into the crossbar, but somehow the score remained even.

      In the final minutes, our «coach» finally got a red card and went to the locker room, having had time to «talk» to their assistant manager on the way. In general, Iron Mikey's coaching debut went off quite well and even though the score remained nil-nil, the fans really liked the match. It was all particularly touching.

      I prayed all through the second half that my charge wouldn't get his legs blown off and that he wouldn't respond to one of their racist defenders. Thank all the gods, Fabrice managed to hold off and only got one yellow card, and it seemed that he stayed on his feet after the match without any assistance.

      3

      On Monday, Harris gathered everyone together for a farewell dinner. I had expected him to do it somewhere like in a good old English pub or a Chinese eatery, but the old man surprised everyone and arranged for them to close Le Gavroche which had two Michelin Stars.

      Most of the boys were dressed in tuxedos, not all of them mind you but many. If you had seen Johnny Martin in a suit or Iron Mikey in a shirt with cufflinks, I'm sure you wouldn't have been able to sleep for a long time afterwards. Personally I don't think I've ever eaten so much cheese in my life. Surprisingly, everything happened with decorum and ended up being very decent.