The Puzzle of Elijah. Olga Anischenko

them lots of love. We were so thankful for our family’s help. It amazed us how one event could impact the hearts and actions of so many people and they were all ready to help. We began to realize that what was happening to us and our baby not only affected our immediate family, but impacted our extended family, friends, relatives, neighbors and co-workers. They all understood our pain and tried to help.

      …….

      Sunday, the third day after delivery, I woke up at 5 a.m. and pumped the milk. Since Oleg was still sleeping, I decided to take the milk to our baby. This was a big deal. I had never walked there by myself before. Holding onto the wheelchair, I slowly walked to the NICU.

      “Good morning, Olga,” the nurse greeted me. “You are here early today!”

      “Good morning,” I said, happy to be there.

      “We have good news for you!” she continued. “Your son’s milk dosage has increased from one to two milliliters! He is doing well!”

      I was so happy to hear good news! Through the little incubator’s windows, I could touch my baby’s head, legs and hands. He seemed to be sleeping.

      “Olga, have you decided on a name for your baby?” the nurse asked.

      “We have not decided yet,” I answered. “I am sorry. I need to talk to my husband about that.”

      I spent about an hour by my baby and returned back to my room. Oleg already woke up.

      “I have great news for you, honey!” I said. “Our baby can tolerate more milk!”

      “That’s great!” Oleg exclaimed.

      “We need to give him a name. The nurse asked me about it again.”

      “Okay. What names do you like?” Oleg asked me.

      “I like Jacob, Elijah, Aaron and Nickolas, but I feel that Elijah would fit our baby the most. It is a Biblical name, which means “My God is Jehovah”. What do you think?”

      “I like the name Elijah,” Oleg said.

      “Our son has a very serious heart defect and his life will not be easy for him. I think the name Elijah would suit him the best,” I said.

      On the birth certificate, that day we wrote:

      Elijah Joseph Anischenko

      The baby of Oleg and Olga Anischenko,

      Born on September 9, 2010.

      Oleg visited Elijah and spoke with the doctors. Then he went home to spend some time with our children and his Mother. I had a lot to do: return phone calls, pump and take my milk to Elijah, take my medications and choose healthy foods to eat. My blood sugar and blood pressure were both elevated. Most importantly, I needed to rest and recover.

      …….

      At about 1:00 P.M., I heard a knock at my door and saw the worried faces of my parents. They hugged me and kissed me.

      “It all will be okay, my Daughter,” my Mom said.

      “I love you so much,” my Father added and hugged me.

      It felt good to feel the love of my parents. I smiled through tears.

      “We named our baby Elijah,” I told my parents. “He is your 20^th Grandchild.”

      “We would like to meet him,” Mom said.

      I got up, sat in a wheelchair and my Father pushed it with his left hand, his only hand. When we came to the NICU, my parents didn’t say much, just asked some questions. Most of the time, they looked at the baby quietly and breathed in deeply. The nurse took a picture of us. Then, we returned to my room.

      “Olga, it is very difficult for me to say this, but please, let God do His work,” my Father spoke, “Elijah is very ill. It would be not easy for him if he was ill all his life. It would be better for him to be with God. If you had only called me when you were in labor, I would’ve told you not to save the baby. Please, don’t ask God to leave him here with you. Ask God to either heal him, so he would be healthy, or let God take him to Heaven.”

      When I heard my Father speak, words got stuck in my throat and I almost choked. I knew my Father was speaking the truth as he knew it, but we had already made a decision and the baby was already here.

      When I was finally able to speak, I answered to my Father, “That is exactly how I am praying, Dad. For some reason, Elijah is still here, and God gives him life. I feel God has plans for him. It is God, who will decide if Elijah will live or not. But it is our choice to give Elijah every chance for life.”

      Mom and Dad spent a little more time with me, prayed for me and left to go home. It was hard for me to hear my Father speak at that time. Today I respect my Father even more for willing to express his honest opinion. Upon reflection, I understand now how difficult this must have been for my Father, who loves me dearly and whom I also love so much.

      …….

      After about an hour, I heard another knock at my door. My sisters, Irena and Luda, came to visit me.

      “Olga, our dear sister, we love you so much,” Lyuda said and hugged me on my shoulder.

      “We brought you flowers and freshly prepared, homemade food,” Irena added and gave me a big hug.

      “Thank you so much,” I answered. “Would you like to go see Elijah?”

      “Yes, of ‘course!” my sisters answered.

      I sat in a wheelchair and Irena pushed it for me. Those were special moments for me. I felt loved and well cared for by my family. They did for me what I could not do for myself and I appreciated that. My sisters were excited to see Elijah.

      “Olga, he is so beautiful, but I can’t believe how small he is,” Irena said.

      “I am so sorry, Olga,” Lyuda said and hugged me tight.

      My sisters looked at Elijah through tears. I stood next to Elijah’s bed and was able to put my hands on his head and legs. Elijah was lying still. His eyes were covered with black glasses and we didn’t know if he was asleep. My sisters asked me some questions and took pictures of us. Then it was time for them to go home. I took my hands off Elijah. He started crying, but could not make any noise, as he still had a breathing tube in his mouth. Immediately, I put my hands back on his head and his legs, and he settled down. Apparently, during pregnancy, babies can hear sounds from the womb. Elijah knew my voice and when I again removed my hands, he started to cry again. Eventually, my sisters and I had to leave.

      “I will come back, my sweet little baby,” I said through tears. “Mommy is in pain and needs to take her medications. I love you. You will be okay.”

      Elijah calmed down. It was heart-breaking for me to leave him all alone in his tiny incubator.

      …….

      Soon, Oleg came with our children and his Mother. Oleg’s Mom hugged me.

      “How are you, Olga?” she asked.

      “I am okay. Thank you for coming to help us,” I answered with tears on my eyes.

      After spending some time with me, Oleg took his Mom to see Elijah. When they came back, Oleg’s Mom kept repeating, “Oh, God, please help my fragile Grandson.”

      Later Oleg told me that his Mom cried when she saw our tiny and very ill son, her ninth Grandchild. After about one hour, Oleg took his Mother and children home, and then returned to the hospital. Grandmother was taking good care of our children.

      Later that evening, my Mother-in-law called me and read the poem that her friend wrote. The last verse was so promising:

      The years will pass and take its course,

      We will remember this day of course –

      For Mom and Dad – a very hard decision,

      For