Space: one hundred one story of surrealism. Рим Дик

They could fly for barely a minute, and when it started to rain, they all hid under cover. Here the rains were stone and wet. Each of them was scarier than they could have imagined. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth. than they could imagine. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth. than they could imagine. But everything was enough, so to speak, to lie down on the ground and become flat with the earth, part of the planet, and the stones could not do any harm at all, but the rains, it was difficult to hide from them. The wet world of the aliens was becoming uninhabitable, so they invented a fan made from the skin of monsters, shredding them to ventilate the earth.

      The ferret lived in a hole under a nuclear power plant, and never complained about the radiation. The ferret wore his fur coat with caution, but how could it be otherwise, and all because the fur coat was unimaginably predatory, every hair is worms with teeth, predatory. The worms ate the radiation itself, straight from the air and soil, tearing apart matter itself. Actually we don’t know. But we will continue. When a man killed a ferret, and then the beast went out to take a pee behind the fence, after watching a cartoon; to make themselves clothes for the winter, the worms ate a man by jumping out of it. The fur coat became even fatter. Well, a worm cannot eat a hundred kilograms and not get fat. On earth, many ate one hundred grams of sweets and carried them up to two hundred kilograms. And so. The meat they ate began to mutate, and those worms turned into snakes. Tired. We fell asleep. For two years they lay swollen on the ground, cars rolled over them. The fur coat floated in a puddle towards the drainpipe, it was carried away in the claws of birds and gnawed by flies. Dogs defecated on them. Cats slept on them. Once, I remember, this fur coat was used instead of a condom by black swingers-Arabs.

      The hibernation lasted only nothing, for the third year, when the homeless Ivan put it on himself, and went into the top five, the fur coat came to life and, from bewilderment, how is it, yes, I all of you … – the fur coat ate the homeless, sellers, movers and buyers.

      The ferret could not stand it, well, nothing else, you know, a fur coat kills, and she… sits in hell for herself, playing goat with the devils. People felt sorry. Yes, and he is completely naked, it should be a shame. It all happened from the fact (maybe he would not have returned, free pudding in hell) that the devil began to go to work more and more often, to be distracted in order to torment people. So you can’t play cards. Damn James, leaving the room, and coming back in about five minutes (and here one minute lasted a month), he declared to the ferret that he was tired of working. He began to complain that people were coming and coming. The devils know who died and how, so the devil James told him that it was time to return. He got fed up. The devil opened the door and kicked the ferret in the opening, the ferret tumbled, hit his head on the armature on the floor, ate a watermelon, gnawed out the baskets, did ten thousand somersaults and grabbed his fur coat, put it on, and left the store. Just before the entrance, he stopped, and a homeless man got out of his fur coat, completely alive. And all the people got out too. Then James’s head popped out and said:

      – Suffer on earth! – and disappeared, closing the portal. For seven more nights, the salesgirls cried to go back to hell. “Here’s the hell with you!” the devil yelled as he changed channels in the cinema.

      At night, one boy’s toys came to life. And in the closet lived a bone man. The monster liked to come out of the closet and grabbed the boy by the leg, and terribly sentenced that he would eat him. The boy was afraid. But the toys weren’t afraid of anything, because they ran to the boy’s aid, and beat the monster either with stools, then with legs, then with a knife, and from time to time they hung him on a rope and threw him out the window. The bone man screamed, asked for mercy, then the toys dragged him back, and forced him to cook a cake so that the boy would forgive him. He baked a very tasty cake, by profession, when he was still alive, before he went to hell and became a servant of Satan, he was famous throughout France for confectionery, because he is a cook, after all. The boy found a cake on the bedside table in the morning, and thought that his mother had baked it for him. Branches beat against the glass in the room, the bone man crawled out of the closet again, took out a saw from his cloak, and wanted to cut off the boy’s leg. But then Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan attacked him and beat him, broke his fingers and chained him to a cross, took him to the forest, and, having found a cornfield there, left him there. The bone man was shouting something, but he was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way. but it was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way. but it was not heard at all. Only the bones rumbled. There is no language. Dragons sat on him backwards, and he drowned there. Then the dragon flew away, and a cross stuck out of the back. Where this bone man is now is unknown. Maybe he will still come to the boy, but many, many years later. If he finds a way.

      The boy got up, opened the closet, and there sat Bilbo Baggins, he twisted the ring in his palm and hissed. The boy was scared. What is his grandfather doing here? He called his mother and father. His father beat him with a closet door, put him in a garbage bag and took him to the cemetery, where he buried him. Bilbo said something, pulled his hands in a garbage bag, asked for mercy, who knows, but he is still alive. All because he put on the ring. And waiting for the kings from Sauron to find him. They will find, perhaps, but shovels will be needed. And kings never held shovels. They will sit at the tombstone and cry. Then they will go and uproot the trees, and there are goblins and trolls.

      Toys, of course, the boy never saw alive. The boy was blind. But he saw the aura of sweetness. Sometimes, the boy dropped a cake on Jackie Chan, and began to see him, grabbed him, and broke his neck. Jackie Chan screamed, came to life, and beat the boy unconscious. He lifted his head and put it back on.

      “If you raise your hand against me again, I know where I’ll put your head!”

      The boy curled up in a corner and cried. Then the fairy godmother flew in through the window and promised to fulfill one wish. The boy smiled and wished that he had ten rubles to buy chewing gum. Then the fairy flew away, and the stupid boy was left with ten rubles.

      Golden eels, too, were alive in some way. They sailed from Eldorado and settled the Atlantic Ocean. The eels enjoyed photographing landscapes, setting off fireworks, playing hide-and-seek with dolphins, and eating lost people on boats. He, as expected, loved the fishermen very much, he hunted them. He jumped into the net, and when they pulled out, rejoicing at the catch for dinner, the eel shot lightning at them, made barbecue, and sprinkled with ketchup, ate right on board the boat. He invited octopuses, squids, piranhas, sharks and plankton to the feast. SpongeBob was not invited that day, but all because he worked hard today. He washed nuclear submarines and cleaned toilets. If the eel didn’t know the square, it would never recognize black Bob. Plankton was always trying to find out the secret of cooking such a tasty person, and what is included in the dish, and why it is so tasty. The eel smiled twisted his finger at his mouth, licked his nails and said that this was a secret of the company and it was protected by copyright. Only Zeus looked at it and sighed, licking his thin, dry lips. He loved barbecue, but he did not have a passport, so he had no right to go down to earth. On Olympus, no one fried it, including shish kebab. Hercules liked to eat dietary supplements and proteins. Athena ate bananas and coconut milk. Aphrodite fed on the blood of virgins. Hermes