Space: one hundred one story of surrealism. Рим Дик

and drink cognac from the blood of a mule and twenty-year-old virgins. Death releases souls, sometimes to hunt them, thrust a spear and quarter them. Remember, if you are told to run out and try to get to the surface, to your friends, then shake your head and punch Death in the eye and you will be caged forever and never released. It is so right, it is better to burn than to burn and be full of holes, it is better to sit forever whole than to consist of mosaics. Once Napoleon made a mistake, punched him in the eye and ran out, decided that he would have time to get out, through the hatch on the roof of Satan’s stagecoach, but no such luck. In one big step, Vladyka took it out and released it through a meat grinder, smeared it on a baguette, put a huge pile of poisonous musk on top, and gave the Cerberus for dinner. Cerberus chewed it, then flushed it down the toilet, from there Napoleon got on the table to the vampire worm, and the vampire worm, having flushed it into his own, got a pedophile rabbit who loved the French for lunch. For seven years, he raped a baguette with minced meat, until children began to grow out of Napoleon and tore open his stomach, eating the insides from the inside. After hatching, the children began to sculpt different types of buildings from Napoleon, beat him against the walls, drown him, stir with acid, fry on a fire and stuff the intestines of dead rats into him to create a stuffed animal. Napoleon then realized that it was better not to try. And when he saw that there was no way out of the hatch at all, and there sits the daughter of Death – he was disappointed that he died. The daughter was even scarier than the mother. She came down exactly one week after that incident to play with the prisoners with dolls. They especially liked to pull out their arms and legs, and put their heads back in place, laugh, and then smear it on the diamond floor with a paver. Spread on cucumber, and throw to be eaten by chickens. They pecked at him for seven hundred years, for they were eyeless. And they completely forgot how to use the mouth. From time to time they went off to read books, develop, but returned. You can’t read without eyes and books. Therefore, the daughter of Death closed the chickens in a cage with Napoleon until they learned to find the Frenchman by the smell of “fear”. And the Lord of Darkness immediately released the children through a meat grinder and made sausages and kupaty, and eats them, roasting them on a fire, drinking coffee out of pity,

      General Pook lives on Jupiter. It was he who created Jupiter with his fart, and hurricanes are still raging there, because he cannot stop.

      And on Mercury there lives a naughty beast, he jumps out of the ground and hits the rover on the ear, and goes down. The rover turns around for two years to see who hit it, and it slams from the other side. So the rover could not stand it, pulled out the cables from itself and hung itself on its hands, tying around its neck supplying power to the motherboard, and died.

      Do you think everything is so good on Saturn? No, of course, what else did they think of me here! There, by the way, right between, porpoises live and experiment on themselves by inserting the hearts of stones. Yes, the stones there are real creatures. Only pigs are stupid. That is how they all killed themselves, because one of the stones contained the swine coronavirus. They became infected from each other and died from lack of air. And then they got up, burst out laughing, and realized that they didn’t breathe any air at all. Relaxed immediately. In addition, in a vacuum, even the blood did not fly out of their body. Why, they didn’t even have blood circulating through their veins. If, once it goes through their veins, they will die, because their hearts are made of stone and will explode from vibration. Therefore, they do not fly to where there is another gravity.

      Only on Earth it was boring to live. Fleas interfered all the time. They bit the head when it was necessary to do something grandiose, for example, once, there was one detail left to complete a twenty-year experiment with a portal to another world, when suddenly a flea flew up, bit a person on the head, and he is a sensitive kind of person – dropped the tool and shorted out all the controls and reset the settings. Twenty years to the cat in the ass!

      That flea was later found, handcuffed and put in jail. His convicts are still kicking him. But if you kick in the wrong place, she will bite off her head, it will itch, that it will be possible to pull out the brain through the skull. That’s how severe itching comes from his bite. One prisoner was even cut off his head and placed in a three-liter jar. Bloch fought and fought, but could not get on his hairy head. And one had the nerves removed. The third one could not stand it at all and bit off the head of a flea himself, the first one beats the one who is not afraid to lose, he thought. Only the flea was armor-piercing. With a wave of his hind legs, he cut it in half. Now this convict walks on a gurney, carrying his soulmate on a leash, on a skateboard.

      In the bathroom of every Neanderthal, a soul snake lives, right in a tiny cave. She swallows them and turns them into blood cells in her body.

      “If you don’t run through your veins, you will die,” the snake said, having once swallowed a man, “they will trample you, smear you on the floor, and you will be stuck here forever.” He ran and ran, cherishing the hope that one day he would break out of the endless circle of the treadmill.

      So, one family came to visit a Neanderthal, went to the toilet, the shower hissed, turned into a snake and swallowed the guests. Do you think she stopped after she swallowed the first one, no, she crawled out of the bathroom, found people sitting in the kitchen, grabbed her leg, and dragged them into her. They hit her body at that moment, knocked them down, put on the suits of leukocytes and erythrocytes, and began to drive the whip from behind. Neanderthals and their guests fled, their legs became muscular, their arms powerful. When a blockage formed in the veins, and an old red blood cell ran across the road to die, they hit it, and it shattered into pieces and died, somersaulting on the ceiling.

      And, here, when two o’clock in the morning comes on earth and the minute is equal to three, inanimate, soulless objects come to life all over the universe. The meteorite rearranges itself into the oncoming lane, drunk from lack of air, and flies into the planet, killing peacefully sitting squirrels that are roasting kupaty on a fire. Plush bears go out to fight with plush elephants for a new habitat, in the upper part of Vanya’s boy’s box, so as not to smell the feet and look at the patterns on the butt of other toys. And a zebra, stuffed with iron teeth, hunts a lion to eat him for breakfast. That is why sometimes plush toys lose weight. Other predatory animals gut them, eat the insides and protect them back, because every Sunday of the week, they go to needlework lessons. From a very early age. The Kuiper belt, at exactly two hours three minutes, sees how the Snowman resorts to it to twist it at the hip and lose weight. The pens, meanwhile, jumping out from under the bedside table, from the closet, from schoolchildren’s briefcases, go out into the birch grove, peel off the bark, and inside they write stories, stories about what they have long wanted to tell. The trees don’t mind. This is how they learn to speak and get smart. Sometimes, a chainsaw comes to them and cuts a book out of them to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable.

      Pillows, animated by the magic of numbers, sometimes throw people to the floor, they hit their heads and wake up, they see those, that’s when the pillows choke them, and they die. People then find the reason that they forgot to roll over during sleep and suffocated, but only we know that the pillow suffocated them.

      Socks wake up and go to play catch-up, and the most advanced ones can grow out of themselves as a clone person and buy something they like in the night shop. There have even been cases of socks growing on the ears of a person so that the ears do not freeze when ghosts blew into their ear.

      Also at night, dead flies at the windowsill, beetles on the ground, mosquitoes and worms come to life. They go to their relatives and drink sugar syrup or milk with them. Mosquitoes try to get blood, but no matter how long they drink it from a cow, blood drips from their proboscis, because they do not have a belly. So, a million mosquitoes that came to life that night sat on one cow and