Tara - The Journey To One's Self. Anjana Gill

ego.

      When we become aware of our soul,

      we become conscious of the inner being which

      transcends our ego and possesses

      the deepest connections to the unity of all things.

      This profound quotation comes from the Indian poet and thinker Rabindranat Tagore. Can you imagine and recognise what it means?”

      I nodded eagerly. But could I really?

      Guruji stopped for a moment. He seemed to be deeply absorbed, and then suddenly he beamed at me again.

      “Perhaps this is all a little too much for you, my dear Tara.”

      “No, no!”, I hurriedly contradicted him, taken aback. I wanted to stay here and immerse myself in this new world.

      “You were already like that as a little girl, Tara. You’ve always tended to overdo things, whether at work or when learning. Your mother always had difficulty getting you to let go of what you were concentrated on.”

      Yes, that was right. But how did Guruji now also know things about my childhood?

      Instead of answering my thoughts as usual, he simply smiled at me enigmatically. I was just going to ask him about it, when he said: “Later, Tara! Later.”

      “Now I shall introduce you to the secrets of stillness and peace and quiet.

      The most important thing you must learn is not to constantly increase the speed of your life.

      The first step is to learn how to enter into stillness and peacefulness. For these two are your entrance ticket into a wonderful and happy life.”

      Guruji handed me a note containing a quotation:

      Stillness is a great blessing,

      it clears up the mind and lends it vitality.

      And this stillness is a source of great energy,

      not only the energy of thinking or the energy

      of machines, but unspoilt energy

      that has immeasurable powers and abilities.

      This is the place where the very active mind can be still.

      It is exactly this intensive activity

      of the brain that embodies the character

      nd beauty of stillness.

      (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

      I read the quotation through several times and considered it.

      “Is that where the saying ‘In stillness lies the key to strength’ comes from?”

      “That too. The world has become noisy. And in order to recognise the secrets of life you have to be quiet, otherwise you cannot hear them!

      It’s important to give yourself some time out every day. Give yourself the luxury of stillness, having a bit of time and doing nothing for a moment! Do it for your own sake! Learn to listen to your inner voices again! In stillness you free yourself from the distractions of this world and enter a wonderfully exciting place. Silence gives you the power to be active and creative. That’s when you hear the whispering of the gods.”

      His words sent shivers down my spine. The ‘whispering of the gods’ sounded thrilling. “What do I have to do to hear these whispers?”

      “Take a bit of time every day to meditate, in other words find a time for peace and quiet. Sit down and relax, settle down and listen. Listen to your inner voices.”

      Guruji closed his eyes and, in only a moment, seemed to be deeply entranced. And all the while he radiated an incredible and absolutely intensive stillness.

      I copied him and closed my eyes too. I was so hungry for inner peace and wanted nothing more than to fall into this state of quiet and stillness myself.

      But it wasn’t quite as easy as I had imagined. Inside my head things were not quiet at all. I kept having to think of this or that event or some task or other.

      I only had to pull myself together and concentrate a bit harder and then I would succeed in shutting out my thoughts, I reassured myself. I was desperate to enter a state of peace and quiet. After all, Guruji had said it was the key to a beautiful and enchanting world of happiness.

      But no matter what I did, nothing helped. Vainly I tried to concentrate even harder, but the more I tried to concentrate, the more my thoughts went into a spin. The craziest and – above all – the most banal things went through my head.

      My attempts slowly turned into frustration. Apparently I was too stupid to succeed.

      “Tara, just relax. You’re all tensed up”, said Guruji, breaking the silence.

      “Yes, I know – but what am I supposed to do! My thoughts keep drifting off. I simply can’t concentrate enough”, I responded, disheartened and despondent.

      “Just let your thoughts happen, Tara. As soon as a thought comes, consider it in all calmness, and then let it move on. Imagine these thoughts are simply clouds or soap bubbles. Take a look at them and let them go. Allow yourself a little lightness. As soon as a thought enters your head, regardless of how absurd or banal it may be, look at it, smile at it, and then wrap it up in a soap bubble and let it drift by.

      If you get annoyed about thoughts disturbing you, you only give them unnecessary power. You bind them to yourself. These disrupting thoughts have received enough attention from you to feel really at home and then linger for longer than necessary.

      You don’t have to and you shouldn’t concentrate, Tara! Concentration is effort and that’s not what’s meant by meditating.

      Simply sit down, breathe, and see what happens.

      If you want to and it helps you, pay attention to your breathing – how it comes and goes.

      You’ll discover peace and stillness all by yourself.

      Stop trying hard and relax! Enjoy the lightness of being when you’re meditating!”

      I looked into his friendly face and immediately felt peaceful.

      Again I closed my eyes, breathed in and out and in again... I sensed my breathing, coming in and going out again – apparently all of its own accord – and felt myself gradually becoming calmer and calmer. As soon as a thought popped up, and believe me there were many, I imagined it to be a soap bubble and happily let it drift on by.

      Immediately these uninvited thoughts, these troublemakers, lost their power over me.

      “If you like and it makes things easier for you, then you can think up a spiritual place of meditation”, Guruji continued teaching me.

      “Keep your eyes closed, breathe in and out deeply, and now imagine a place where you feel really good and at ease! It can be a place at the seaside, in the hills, or on a meadow. You can make it a house or a place in the open countryside. Whatever you like and wherever you feel really comfortable and happy. Let your imagination fly.

      What’s the atmosphere like at this place of yours? Try to feel it with all your senses!

      Feel the grass, the wind, and the sand under your feet. Hear the birds twittering and listen closely to the sounds of mother nature!”

      Guruji paused a little while and then asked me: “Where are you now, Tara?”

      I’d found a truly wonderful place.

      “I’m in a clearing. It’s warm and filled with sunlight. Before me there’s a waterfall pouring down from about three metres above. The water cascades into a small stream dotted with bigger stones. There are colourful plants growing in rich abandon. The birds are twittering away to their hearts’ delight and the water is gushing along. To the right there’s a swing with two seats.”

      I really had the feeling of being there in that place.