Юмористические стихи
Различные книги в жанре Юмористические стихиHarvey Wallbangers and Tam O'Shanters
Did you know that Maria Ann Smith was genuinely a grandmother who died not knowing that she had given the world one of the best varieties of apple? Or that the word tawdry, meaning tacky or tasteless, has its origins in the fate of a seventh-century Saxon princess, Etheldreda, who was canonised and became St Audrey? Or that when we say Fanny Adams, meaning nothing, this expression is derived from the tragic fate of a real little girl who was murdered in a most horrible fashion? An eponym is a word derived from the name of a real, fictional or mythical character or person and is one of the most fascinating examples of how the English language gains new words. Harvey Wallbangers and Tam O'Shanters takes a colourful look at the phenomenon that is the eponym and, for the first time, gathers together the stories of the people behind the words that have passed into our everyday vocabulary.This entertaining and informative book is packed with eponyms from across the worlds of literature, history, medicine, religion, politics, science, nature and cuisine. And there are more of them out there then you might think! From a Harvey Wallbanger to a Wellington Boot; from a Catherine Wheel to a Caesar Salad, there's something for everyone.
I, Superhero!! :
Evildoers, Take Heed! Justice has a new face, and it wears a mask. Who are we talking about? Ordinary folk like Mike McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, who become something entirely new and occasionally borderline pathological: Real-Life Superheroes (RLSHs). «Being a singing superheroine is a way for me to not only pay the bills, it also helps me give the baddies such a headache.» –Danger Woman Complete with costumes and all the gadgetry they can afford from selling old copies of Action Comics on eBay, RLSHs dish out their own brand of justice–while criminals go about their business and law enforcers roll their eyes. «Me and Shadowhare were walking past a bank and we stopped to make a phone call. As soon as we started walking away, the police came up and said, 'Do you know why we stopped you? Because you guys are wearing masks standing in front of a bank.'» –Mr. Xtreme McMullen spans the country, coach class, seeking to develop his own RLSH identity and address such weighty issues as: Sidekicks: Faithful wards or CPS bait?Bad Guys: Where the hell are they all hiding?Super-tights: How snug is too snug? So don your mask, suck in your gut, and join us. "Hey, you're with a superhero. . .what could go wrong?" –Geist, the Emerald Cowboy Michael McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, was born in Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned an undergraduate degree in history and philosophy, and subsequently took the only employment option open to someone with the resultant lack of marketable skills: government service. He's worked as an intelligence analyst for the U.S. Department of Justice for just over a decade and currently lives in Arlington, Texas, with his wife, Lauren, and their children, Grant and Gracie. His hobbies include aspiring to get some woodworking done, thinking about learning a musical instrument, and trying to get interested in any computer game other than Text Twist. He has had short pieces published in various science fiction/fantasy magazines and currently holds the record for «Worst-Kept Secret Identity.»
Dracula Is a Racist:
Vampires: The 100% Bona Fide Totally Real And Not Made Up At All Truth In this day and age, the belief in vampires has been dwindling at an exponential rate. Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something.From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . . • Was Dracula really a racist? • How do vampires do their hair if they don't have any reflection? • Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they're stuck in a 17-year-old body? • Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count? • Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire? • Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies? Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That's totally true. Really. Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old T-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. Along with three other dudes, he runs Explosm.net, a pretty awesome website full of awesome things. When not adding even more filth to the Internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts. He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall.
Your Next-Door Neighbor Is a Dragon:
Finally, a book about the Internet that takes place outside the Internet! Your Next-Door Neighbor is a Dragon leaves the bleeps and bloops behind for a series of surreal interviews and adventures with the people behind the computer screen.Something Awful's Zack Parsons risks life and sanity by meeting with people who believe they are real dragons and elves, attending a furry convention in costume, paying a visit to a white power group in Texas, talking shop with people who want to be swallowed whole, and witnessing the launching of the Ron Paul Blimp. More than a year in the making, this epic adventure is full to bursting with the jokes about wieners and poopy that made Something Awful a true Internet sensation. Have you added the book to your cart yet or do you just hate yourself that much?
Alphabet of Manliness (revised and updated)
Sometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn't, such as the word «holy» and the word «shit.» Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition! If it's a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. The new edition includes: • «The Numbers of Manliness.» • A full-color insert • Corrections to typos! I, Maddox, the author, personally guarantee that this is the best edition of the book since the last one. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged sons of bitches out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to pick up a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted or busting balls alike. If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.
Ladies Courting Trouble
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."–Katharine HepburnIn her bewitching novels of female friendship, fun, and delicious mischief, Dolores Stewart Riccio has charmed readers who want to know more about marvelous Cass, sweet Heather, wickedly witty Phillipa, eccentric mom Deidre, and whip-smart Fiona–five deeply committed sisters-in-arms with a little something extra on their side. Now, in Ladies Courting Trouble, the most fascinating women in Plymouth, Massachusetts, are back in the thick of the action, which suits them just fine. . .October in New England is a grand time–great for carving pumpkins, throwing Halloween parties, baking and eating brownies, and. . .dropping dead? When a helmlock-laced brownie at the church hospitality hour spells the end for an elderly townswoman, Cass Shipton and her circle of fabulous friends get to work using their very special brand of detective skills to ferret out the culprit. After all, their unorthodox recipe of magic, clairvoyance, and good old-fashioned common sense hasn't let them down yet. . .Praise for Dolores Stewart Riccio and Circle of Five"A bewitching tale."– Midwest Book Review "This story has everything from suspense to laughter. Delicious. . .with a magic all its own."– Rendezvous "Humorous moments are deftly intertwined with truly creepy ones."– Booklist "Delicious. . .filled with magic. . .and delight."–Phyllis Curott"Witty and fast-paced. . .charming. . .a fun read and food for thought."–Joe Haldeman Dolores Stewart Riccio is the author of three previous Cass Shipton novels, The Divine Circle of Ladies Making Mischief, Circle of Five, and Charmed Circle, as well as numerous highly acclaimed nonfiction books on the subjects of health and cooking. She lives in Rhode Island and is currently at work on her next novel.
How to Throw the Ultimate Divorce Party
Are you newly or soon-to-be divorced? The aftermath of a divorce can be very emotional; you may be left feeling heartbroken or angry. A common assumption is that a divorce means you and your spouse failed at marriage, but with approximately 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s time to reinvent the meaning of the word!
Divorce can be an opportunity for renewal and for reexamining your goals as you start the next exciting chapter in your life. Holding a divorce party can be a great way for you to heal, and it can be an occasion for your loved ones to do the same. After all, your divorce may have affected others such as your extended family members and mutual friends. If you and your ex-spouse are on good terms, you can host a joint divorce party to demonstrate that your loved ones do not have to choose sides or to signify a continued commitment to raising your children together.
Alternatively, hosting a divorce party solo can symbolize that you’re ready to move on and meet new people. You can poke fun at your ex-spouse, celebrate the warm memories you had with him or her, or concentrate on you and what you want going forward.
Along with step-by-step instructions for hosting the ultimate divorce party, How to Throw the Ultimate Divorce Party goes deeper to look at the situations often surrounding divorce and divorce parties, and offers sound advice about moving on from a divorce in a healthy and positive way.
Topics include: · A «how-to» party planning guide · The different types of divorce parties, celebrations, and ceremonies · Discussions with a lawyer, celebrants, and event planner to answer common questions · Helpful resources for event planning and for the newly and soon-to-be divorced · Checklists to keep you organized · ― And more!
How to Throw the Ultimate Divorce Party contains all the information you need to plan your event, so you can mark the occasion and move forward with confidence!
Long Story Short
Mr. Fish is an award-winning political cartoonist, and many of the contributors have also won prestigious cartooning awards over the years. Mr. Fish is widely recognized as one of today's most vital and insightful political cartoonists—his work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Harper's, the Nation, Mother Jones, the Atlantic, etc. Long Story Short includes original artwork by: Mr. Fish, Ted Rall, Stephanie McMillan, Sarah Awad, Eli Valley, Wes Tyrell, Tamara Knoss, Keith Henry Brown, Sam Henderson, Lodi Marasescu, Surag Ramachandran, Tami Knight, Eric Garcia, Marissa Dougherty, Siri Dokken, John G., Andy Singer, Tara Seibel, Gary Dumm, Clare Kolat, Nate Ulsh, Benjamin Slyngstad, Ron Hill, JP Trostle, and Beth McCaskey. Mr. Fish has strong ties to USC, UPENN, and University of Connecticut.