Capturing The Single Dad's Heart. Kate Hardy

my annual leave.’

      ‘Very public-spirited of you,’ he drawled.

      She was really starting to dislike him now. How dared he judge her?

      Though there was some truth in his barb. The whole reason she’d thrown herself behind the sensory garden project was because she’d seen the difference it had made to her brother. And helping to make that same difference to their patients might go some way towards lessening her guilt about what had happened to Mikey.

      Might. She knew that her brother had forgiven her a long time ago, but she still couldn’t forgive herself.

      ‘It’s important,’ she said quietly. ‘From a medical point of view, exposure to nature helps with pain management, reduces stress and increases feelings of calm and relaxation.’

      He shrugged. ‘That’s a bit New Agey, don’t you think?’

      ‘Apart from the fact that garden therapy has been used as far back as ancient Greece,’ Erin pointed out, ‘in modern terms you can actually measure the effect on the patient’s blood pressure and heart rate. Plus a change of scene makes a mental difference. It might be a very small thing to you and me, and we all probably take it for granted, but for a patient who’s been stuck inside for weeks it’s a massive thing to be able to go outside.’

      Finally, to Erin’s relief, Nick spoke up. ‘As the project’s already been agreed, perhaps we should all just agree to disagree on the use of funds and what have you.’

      ‘Sure,’ Nate said easily. ‘And, as the new boy, I know I shouldn’t make waves. But my sister’s a deputy headmistress, and she tells me that the thing she likes best about having a new governor on the team is that you get a critical friend—someone who looks at things from the outside with a fresh pair of eyes and asks questions. I guess I was trying to do the same thing here.’

      ‘You’re very welcome to a copy of the file,’ Erin said again, ‘if you want to check the costings and make sure I haven’t missed anything.’

      ‘I’ll take you up on that,’ he said.

      Erin simmered through the rest of the meeting. Critical friend, indeed. There was nothing friendly about Nate Townsend. He might be easy on the eye—on his first day, several of her female colleagues had declared him one of the sexiest men they’d ever met, with his Celtic good looks of dark hair, pale complexion and navy blue eyes—but in her view character was much more important than looks. And she really didn’t like what she’d seen of Nate Townsend today.

      And of course she would have to do the ward rounds with him after the meeting.

      ‘Do you have a particular way you’d prefer to do the ward rounds this morning?’ she asked, knowing that she sounded snippy but not being able to stop herself.

      ‘I’m quite happy to follow the normal protocol here,’ he said mildly.

      ‘That’s not the impression you gave in the meeting.’ The words were out before she could hold them back.

      ‘I apologise if I upset you,’ he said. ‘Why is the garden so important to you?’

      He seriously thought she was going to tell him that—so he could go ahead and judge her as harshly as she judged herself? No way. ‘I’ve been working on the project for a year,’ she said instead. ‘And I’ve seen the difference it’s made to patients elsewhere. Phase one is the garden, phase two is the covered area, and maybe we can have some raised beds in phase three and a greenhouse so the patients can grow plants. If it proves to them that they can still do something, that they can still contribute to life instead of having to be looked after every second of the day and feel like a burden to everyone, it’ll help them adjust to their new life and the prospect of having to change their career.’

      ‘I think Nick’s right,’ Nate said, his expression inscrutable. ‘For now we’ll agree to disagree.’

      She inclined her head. ‘As you wish. Though I’d be interested to know why you’re so against the project.’

      ‘Because several times before now I’ve seen funds raised to help patients and then wasted on people’s pet hobbyhorses,’ he said.

      Deep breath, she told herself. He might be right about it being her pet hobbyhorse, but the rest of it was way off the mark. ‘I can assure you that what we’re doing isn’t a waste of funds. And it’s not just about the patients. As I said, it’s a community garden, with local volunteers helping. That’s everyone from older people who’ve moved into a flat and miss having a garden through to young mums who want just a couple of hours a week doing something that’s not centred around the baby, and the local sixth form’s involved, too. It’s a project that gives extra credit towards exams for some of them, and others can talk about it on their personal statement when they apply to university. It’s getting everyone working together to make a difference and absolutely everyone involved gets some benefit from it. I’m sorry if you see a garden as a waste of money, but the rest of us really don’t.’

      * * *

      Erin was really passionate about this project, Nate thought. Her face had been full of animation when she’d talked about the garden and what she thought it could do for their patients.

      Then he shook himself mentally. Yes, Erin Leyton was pretty, with her curly light brown hair caught back at the nape of her neck, clear grey eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose. But, even if he were in a place where he could think about having a relationship—which he most definitely wasn’t, with his life being in utter chaos right now—it would be way too complicated, given that they had such opposing views on fundamental things.

      Though maybe he was only being scratchy with her because he was so frustrated with how things were going outside work, and that wasn’t fair of him. It wasn’t Erin’s fault that his ex-wife had dropped a bombshell on him only a week before he’d started his new job and he’d been running round like a headless chicken ever since, trying to sort everything out. And it definitely wasn’t Erin’s fault that he hated himself for being such a failure.

      ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re right—it’s like the new boy stamping everywhere to try and make an impression.’

      ‘I didn’t say that.’

      ‘You were thinking it, though.’

      She gave him a rueful smile. ‘Can you blame me?’

      ‘No—and actually, it isn’t that at all. I apologise. I shouldn’t bring my baggage to work.’

      The hostility in her grey eyes melted in an instant. ‘Apology accepted. And sometimes,’ she said quietly, ‘it helps to have someone to talk to—someone who isn’t involved with the situation and won’t judge you or spread gossip.’

      She was offering him a shoulder to cry on, even after he’d been combative towards her in a meeting involving what was clearly her pet project? That was unbelievably generous. Then again, he wasn’t that surprised. He’d already noticed Erin’s name at the top of all the internal memos organising a team night out or a collection for someone’s birthday or baby shower. He had a feeling that she was one of life’s fixers.

      Well, his life couldn’t be fixed right now. He wasn’t sure if it ever could be. ‘Thanks for the offer,’ he said, ‘but I don’t really know you.’

      She shrugged, but he could see the momentary flash of hurt on her face. ‘Fair enough. Forget I said anything.’

      He felt like a heel, but he couldn’t even offer anyone friendship at the moment. Not until he’d sorted things out with Caitlin and established a better relationship with her. And he had no idea how long that was going to take. Right now it felt like it was never going to happen.

      ‘Let’s do the ward rounds,’ he said. ‘We have Kevin Bishop first. He’s forty-five, but he has the spine of a sixty-five-year-old—it’s a really bad case of stenosis.’

      ‘Is