If Only You Knew. Gwyneth Bolton

She assumed that it was because she really hadn’t been made love to. What they’d shared was probably no more than a romp in the sack for him. But she knew it was so much more for her.

      Not wanting to outstay her welcome—or worse, be asked to leave—she slowly got up from the bed and reached for her clothes. She ached between her legs in ways she never thought possible, but she managed to stand. Latonya wondered if the nice maid would be able to call her a cab.

      “What are you doing?” The sharp sound of Carlton’s voice caused her to jump.

      She pulled her shirt over her head. “I’m going home.”

      “No, you’re not. The deal was you spend the night with me.”

      “What? The deal was we’d have sex. We did. Now I’m going home.” No way could she stay the night with him. She didn’t think she could take more of his kisses and caresses tonight, and she knew she’d never receive them again.

      “Stay the night, Tonya. Please,” he almost begged.

      “Look, Mr. Harrington—”

      “I think we’re beyond formalities, Tonya,” he countered knowingly.

      “Okay, Carlton. I can’t stay the night here. I have to go home.”

      “Why can’t you stay?”

      She couldn’t believe that he was badgering her about staying the night. He got what he wanted. So did she. Why couldn’t Carlton just let her go? She tried to think of a good reason, anything besides the I-really-liked-making-love-to-you-and-now-I’m-running-scared-before-you-kick-me-to-the-curb excuse running through her head.

      “My grandmother, she’s recovering from a stroke, remember? I usually spend the weekends at home with her, but I asked Sue, her home-health aide, to stay with her today, because I had to work.” She gave him a pointed glare before continuing.

      “I have to pay her time and a half under the table when she does favors like this, and I can’t afford to have her spend the night with my grandmother.” Grabbing her panties, she started to put them on and winced in pain as she tried to lift her sore leg.

      He walked over to capture her hand in his, stilling her movement. “Call her and tell her that you will pay her triple. I’ll pay for it. You’re not leaving here tonight.”

      She let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. “Do you even realize how insulting you are? I’m not a whore. You can’t pay for me for the evening, Mr. Harrington! You can keep your money. I can pay for my own grandmother’s care. I’m not going to neglect her for the entire evening so that I can spend the night in your bed!”

      His hand moved from her hand to her face. He caressed her cheek. “I’m just not handling this well at all, am I?” He looked almost vulnerable. “What I mean is, I really want to spend the night with you in my arms. We don’t have to have sex again. In fact, given the fact that you’re sore, we probably shouldn’t. I don’t want this to end yet. So I’m asking you, please, let me cover your grandmother’s care for the evening. Please stay here with me tonight.”

      She sighed heavily. “Carlton, what am I supposed to tell my grandmother? That I’m spending the night with a man?”

      “Tell her that you decided to go out with some girl friends. I don’t know. Just stay with me. Please?” He gave her another one of his soul-stirring kisses and she was lost.

      It’s only one night, she reasoned. She could allow herself to be loved by him for one night, and then on Monday, she could get transferred to another department and keep the memories of what transpired between them locked away.

      When the kiss ended, she had to take two deep breaths just to focus.

      “I’ll tell you what,” he began. He appeared unsure that his kiss had changed her mind. “You use the phone on the nightstand there to call and make arrangements for your grandmother and I’ll run you a nice, hot bath. You’re probably a little sore and achy and the warmth of the water should help. Is that okay?”

      Sighing, she nodded. She had never lied to her grandmother before, but she wanted to spend the night with Carlton more than she wanted anything in a long time. There was no way Latonya was going to tell her grandmother that she was spending the night with a man. Her God-fearing grandmother would think that she had made some kind of mistake raising her. Latonya could hear her grandmother’s response, Peanut, I’m going to pray to Jesus for your soul. What are you thinking staying with some man all night! No, Gran didn’t need to know this.

      Latonya picked up the phone and called home. Sue was more than happy to make three times her pay and told her not to worry about her grandmother. Latonya wanted to talk to her, but she was sleeping already. Sometimes, after a frustrating day of relearning how to do things that she at one time had no problem doing for herself, her grandmother took to bed early.

      She hung up the phone just as Carlton came strutting out of the bathroom. He was still very naked, and one look at his chiseled form made her glad she decided to stay. She remembered just how each and every one of those muscles felt against her skin, as he held her and stroked her. She let her eyes drink him in. Starting from the top of his wavy black hair to his feet. She stopped there and admired the way each bone, each muscle, each vein seemed perfectly placed. She never knew she had a thing for feet. As her eyes trailed up his muscular thighs, she blinked and realized that hanging around Carlton would no doubt introduce her to many more of her hidden fetishes. Have. Mercy, she thought when she met his dark, smoldering eyes again and saw his desire.

      He smiled and her heart jumped. “Your bubble bath awaits you.”

      Why is he being so personable? If she had known that sex would have turned him into a decent human being, she would have put him out of his misery months ago. That would’ve meant that she would have been subjected to his sweet, sweet kisses a long time ago.

      Grinning, she walked into the bathroom, took off her shirt and underwear and stepped slowly into the deep bubble bath.

      Latonya jumped when Carlton stepped into the tub with her and he had to laugh. The tub was more than big enough to fit the two of them with room to spare. And he was nowhere near ready to be away from her yet.

      “I figured I’d join you and help you out,” he offered as he poured some of the body-wash liquid into his hands and began to lather her skin. He took a moment to massage her shoulders.

      “Umm…that’s nice.” She leaned back into his arms.

      Glad that she had relaxed a little and didn’t seem as antsy as she was when she was trying to leave, Carlton exhaled. He realized that she probably felt conflicted about what happened between them. A woman didn’t wait until she was twenty-four years old to have sex and take it lightly. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel some sort of guilt about what had happened between them. It had been too special to him and he wanted it to be special for her as well.

      “How are you feeling?” he asked.

      “I’m feeling okay.”

      “Really? Better than you were a few minutes ago when you were trying to make your great escape?”

      She turned and glanced up at him. “Ha. Ha. Now you’ve got jokes. Okay. I freaked out for a minute. This is new to me. I’ve never felt…like this before. I’ve never done anything like this. And I sort of lost it for a minute and wanted to run.”

      Latonya’s wanting to run from her feelings disturbed him, and he didn’t want to put a finger on why. He only knew that if she had left she would have been taking a part of him with her. As new as it all was, he knew that much for certain.

      “This is new to me, too. And I can tell you that it was special. What we shared meant more to me than anything. You don’t have to be freaked out about it or feel guilty about it. It was beautiful, and I don’t want it to be a one-night thing. I want more.”

      Carlton waited for some response from Latonya, but all he got in return was her even, steady