A Clean Slate. Laura Caldwell

feeling as if I didn’t know what colors I liked anymore.

      I noticed now that I was gravitating more toward the basics, sturdy, elegant colors like black, tan, cream and gray. Colors you could build a whole wardrobe around.

      Meanwhile, Laney sat on the couch, offering a running commentary on each piece. The problem was that she liked nearly everything.

      “Lane,” I said, spinning around to face her. “I can’t buy every single thing.”

      “I don’t know why not. You’ve got money to spare from your severance package, and you look amazing in everything.”

      I turned back to the mirror and looked at the soft camel pants I had on with an ivory turtleneck and a pair of high-heeled camel boots. Okay, Laney had a point. It wasn’t that I thought I looked so fantastic, but the clothes were fitting me better than ever before. Where I’d been curvy in the past, I was more angular from the weight I’d lost—angular being an adjective I’d only dreamed of applying to myself in the past.

      “The trousers look fabulous on you,” Melanie said. By this time, she had realized that I was definitely in a buying mood, and champagne had replaced the tea. She stood now with two other assistants, all of them studying me, nodding along with her.

      I shrugged. “Okay, I’ll take the pants.”

      “And now,” Melanie said, floating toward me with a garment bag hanging gingerly over her arms, “let’s try this.”

      It was the gown from the photo, and it was stunning. I slipped it on, stepping into the high sandals they’d given me. The lining was silky and smooth. When I zipped the dress up, it felt like a second skin.

      I came around the curtain, and as I stepped onto the pedestal I heard a gasp—Laney’s. I looked into the mirror and saw what she meant. It was spectacular. The dress was sleeveless and formfitting. It was cut so well, with its high neck and equally high slit, that it could have made anyone look good. The silver bugle beads glimmered with each movement as I turned this way and that. It was the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen.

      I looked down at the price tag and tried not to swear. It was half a mortgage payment—if I’d still had a mortgage to pay off.

      “You have to get it,” Laney said, a hand on her chest. “You look fabulous.”

      “But it’s crazy money.”

      “Don’t care.” Laney raised her champagne flute.

      “Where would I wear it? I mean, what are the chances of me going to a gala or something if I’ve been needing antidepressants just to get out of the house?”

      Melanie and her assistants sent each other questioning looks, probably wondering if they were dealing with an escapee from a mental hospital.

      Laney shook her head and gave them a smile as if to say She’s kidding. “Kelly, it’s perfect on you. You have to have it. And who knows what will happen? Maybe there’ll be a black tie wedding.”

      “Yeah, maybe Ben and Therese’s.” The thought almost made me fall off the heels.

      Laney must have seen my stricken face because she jumped up, putting her arms around me from behind. “Look, this is a special dress. You probably won’t ever again find something this amazing. Think of it as a treat to yourself after everything you’ve gone through. And I’ll make you a deal. If after a year you haven’t found someplace to wear it, I’ll buy something fabulous, too, and we’ll take each other out for an outrageous night in our dresses.”

      I looked at myself in the mirror again. I’d been so frugal for years, saving up to buy my town house, the one where Ben and I would start our lives together, and what did I have to show for it? Not a goddamn thing. I smoothed the dress over my stomach, although it hung perfectly. I watched the light glinting off the beads.

      “Deal,” I said to Laney. I turned and hugged her back.

      Fifteen minutes later, I was ready to go and wearing a new outfit—a silky, bronze sweater, a pair of dark jeans and tall, black leather boots. As I bent over to sign the credit card slip, I flipped my hair over my shoulder and got a rush of that damn-I-look-good feeling. It’d been a while. But then I got another rush, this one much more panicky, and my hand froze over the slip. What if Laney was wrong about how much money I had? What if I’d just rendered myself penniless?

      “Everything all right?” Melanie said.

      “Uh…” I tried not to focus on the grand total at the bottom. If Laney was wrong, if I was broke, I’d just have to return everything. “It’s fine,” I said, and I scrawled my signature with a flourish. “Thanks for everything.”

      “Oh, it was a pleasure,” Melanie said. “A real pleasure.”

      I’m sure it had been a great pleasure, since my whopping purchases had probably provided Melanie with her sales quota for the month, but I kept my mouth closed. Despite the moment of panic, I was entirely too pleased. I knew that this frivolous shopping spree couldn’t provide answers about my memory loss or stem the depression I feared might return; yet it had made me feel a hell of a lot better.

      “May I make one more suggestion?” Melanie said.

      She turned me around to the mirror and fingered my dull hair. “Can I send you to a friend of mine at Trevé?”

      I knew what she was trying to say. My hair was hell. Something needed to be done. But Trevé was the hottest salon in the city.

      “I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to get in there anytime soon,” I said.

      “Let me try.”

      She whipped out a cell phone the size of a Tic Tac box and raised it to her ear. “Tommy,” she said. “It’s Melanie from Saks. Tell Lino I’m calling in my favor. I need an appointment today.”

      She paused, listening.

      “No, it’s not for me. A client. Kelly McGraw.” Another pause. “Perfect,” she said with a smile. “Kisses to Lino.”

      She clicked her phone off and looked at her watch. “You’ll have to get a cab. Lino is expecting you at Trevé in twenty minutes.”

      We could hear the music pumping even before we walked in the door. A huge doorman with a bald head held the glass door for us. “Welcome to Trevé, ladies.”

      “You’d think they’d have somebody with hair,” I said as we muscled my Saks bags through the doorway.

      Laney laughed, or at least I could see her laughing, although it was hard to hear her above the thumping music. The front desk was at least six feet tall and spray-painted with gold graffiti. I stood on my tiptoes and screamed my name to the collagen-lipped receptionist, who led us upstairs to the stylists’ stations, where the music was, thank God, being played at a much lower volume.

      I was seated on a chrome-and-leather chair, my bags piled high in a closet, while a stool was pulled up for Laney, and two more glasses of champagne were delivered to us.

      “Feel free to lose your memory every Saturday so we can do this once a week,” Laney said.

      I knew she meant it in a kidding way, but it reminded me of my horrible morning, of that sheer fear I’d felt when Beth Maninsky opened my door.

      “You okay?” Laney looked a little chagrined at her comment.

      I shook my head, shaking off the thoughts at the same time. “I’m great.”

      I was leaning forward, my glass outstretched to toast with Laney, when I heard a cry. I swung around to see a short, deeply tanned man with dark hair and at least two coats of mascara around his dark eyes.

      “My God!” he said, before he rattled off a litany of what sounded like Italian words. “Melanie didn’t tell me it was this bad.”

      He spun my chair around so that I faced the mirror, and began pulling