Evie’s Choice. Terri Nixon

me in return all the years fell away, and I was a little girl again and my mother loved me even though I was such an effort for her. I felt horrible for assuming she would rather see me unhappy than wed to the man I loved.

      ‘You should have told me,’ she said, her voice muffled against my shoulder. ‘I wanted you to tell me yourself, and waited for it. I’m so sad you felt you couldn’t.’

      ‘I didn’t think you’d understand,’ I confessed. ‘It was hard to know where to begin.’

      ‘Of course I understand, darling, you mustn’t feel at fault. Now, what did he look like?’

      I stepped back, with the prickling suspicion that all was not well after all. ‘What did who look like?’

      ‘David would only describe him as a thuggish sort of a man, with messy hair and a fierce look in his eyes. Blue eyes, he says, which may help but not much. I gather there was quite a struggle so he might be bruised as well. We must call Inspector Bailey of course. And you’re to stop riding out alone.’

      I couldn’t speak. Quite aside from the exaggeration about Will’s appearance, and the “struggle”, I couldn’t believe David had told that story after all, it would achieve nothing. Was it simply revenge?

      ‘Mother, what David told you is a lie,’ I said at last.

      ‘I beg your pardon?’ It was only then that I saw she had been battling her own emotions, and there were tears in her eyes for my presumed suffering. I could have wept myself; the one time we had found a kind of bond in far too long, and now I must shatter it again. I felt a fleeting urge to allow her mistaken belief to continue, just to maintain that bond, but it wasn’t fair on Will.

      ‘I wasn’t being attacked,’ I said, ‘I was lying down with…with a man. We were dressed,’ I added quickly, as the colour drained from her face. ‘We were kissing. But that’s all we were doing. I promise, it was nothing more –’

      ‘Who was it?’ Her voice was flat, and my own anger kindled.

      ‘It doesn’t matter. It’s someone who makes me happy and who loves me as much as I love him. But he’s not of “our class”, so I already know what you’re going to say.’

      ‘Who?’ she repeated.

      ‘I’m not going to tell you,’ I said, trying to sound stubborn, but instead I heard pleading in my tone. ‘Mother, I don’t want to upset you, but –’

      ‘Upset me?’ She rose, smoothing down her skirts with shaking hands. ‘I don’t know what makes you think you can upset me now. Letting your maid steal our family’s fortune, your own birthright, that upset me. This?’ She gestured blithely, but her jaw was tight. ‘This is nothing. It will pass.’ But she paused at the door, and her tone softened a little. ‘I assume he’s a handsome boy?’

      Man, I wanted to say, but didn’t. ‘Some would say so.’

      ‘Then be careful. A boy’s demeanour rarely matches a pleasant appearance, and the handsome ones are often the cause of more heartache than the plain ones.’ Her expression turned reflective for a moment, and I wondered again about her and Uncle Jack. Then she shook the thoughts away. ‘Don’t forget your choices are more limited now you have lost the Kalteng Star.’

      ‘I didn’t lose it, it was stolen. And W…he’s never been interested in my fortune. Even when I still had the diamond.’

      She looked startled. ‘How long have you and this boy been courting?’

      ‘We met in the spring. But have only properly become close since the end of last summer. After my birthday,’ I added pointedly.

      She came back in, and a shadow of that bond I had wanted to prolong reappeared as she took my hand. ‘Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I assumed this was some fleeting bit of nonsense, some momentary loss of control.’ I remembered how close that had been to the truth, but again held my tongue.

      Mother squeezed my hand. ‘I don’t want you to be unhappy, of course I don’t. And this sounds terribly old-fashioned and you’ll hate it, but thanks to the terms of John Creswell’s will, the future of our family depends on your match, not Lawrence’s. You will never be asked to marry against your wishes, but if the Kalteng Star is ever returned to us, then whoever you have married must be worthy of it. You do understand?’

      ‘Yes,’ I said. Better to let her think she had convinced me, and to keep her warmth and sympathy, than to lose everything. But I was not going to give in entirely, even on the surface. ‘I won’t marry David Wingfield though.’

      Mother looked at me for a moment, with pursed lips. ‘Our two families make poor enemies,’ she said at last. ‘I’ve always known that. However, you will not find me pushing the matter any further. It was Clarissa who suggested this advance of his, not me.’

      ‘Is that your way of trying to say you don’t blame me?’

      A reluctant smile crossed her lips and I loved her again, in that moment. She leaned in close and whispered, ‘He’s a terrible little oik, and his mother’s frightful.’

      She smiled again as she opened the door, and now there was an understanding between us that I could feel all the way across the room. Will was right; I was no longer a wayward, rebellious child with too much energy and too little patience, I was a woman, as Mother was, and she was ready now to help me find my way through the often dark and frightening maze of adult relationships and obligations.

      There was a touching similarity between this acceptance, and when Will and I had kissed goodbye earlier. There had been no question of his being the friendly, funny butcher’s boy, consorting in secret with the heiress; when Will Davies kissed me at Breckenhall Quarry that day, he was the young man with strength in his hands, and nothing but goodness in his heart. The same hands and heart for which I would defy anyone, and in which I willingly placed the rest of my life. I had no idea, in the happy, heady arrogance of youth, that I would have to fight so hard to remain there.

       Chapter Five

      The train was quite full. I couldn’t even be sure Will was on it at all, and spent the entire journey in a state of agitation until I saw his dark head bobbing on the crowded platform by the second-class carriages. For the first time, I had the complete freedom to walk up to him in public, and I noticed one or two people looking twice at us and felt a second’s uncertainty, but they were only reacting to the sight of two excited youngsters and I made myself relax. The wind tugged at my hat, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before my neat curls were tumbling about my face, despite the care I had taken with them that morning; I had wanted Will to see me looking glamorous for once, instead of my usual windblown self, but he didn’t appear to even notice my efforts and I was caught between exasperation and amusement. His own dark hair was already whipped into spikes, and I hoped he would never decide to start using oils on it and tame that fresh, clean look that was so typical of him.

      He took my hand and tucked it beneath his arm. ‘Where first?’

      ‘I am desperate to go on that captive flying machine,’ I said eagerly, pointing to the huge apparatus in the distance. ‘Ava went on it last year and screamed all the way around, so she said. Can you think of anything more exciting than screaming in public and not being glared at?’

      Will laughed. ‘I might have guessed you’d make a beeline for that. Let’s go!’

      I could quite see why Ava had screamed her head off. I did too, to start with, but then I just laughed, thrilled to be so high up, secured by the huge, spider-like arms that were, in turn, fixed to the central frame. Nestled against Will, his arm about my shoulder, I abandoned any attempt to hold my hat on and held it in my hand instead while we whizzed around in the chilly air, listening to the yells of the other riders.

      We staggered off a little while later, still breathless and barely able to speak, but