Death Bringer. Derek Landy

is about to do the same. Solomon keeps saying that the Passage is going to help people.”

      “True,” Skulduggery said. “But if you asked Serpine why he wanted to bring the Faceless Ones back, he’d have told you the same thing. It all depends on what people you’re talking about helping. That’s the wonderful thing about just about every religion on the planet – they’re all so incredibly selfish.”

      “You are a cynical man, Mr Pleasant.”

      “We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.”

      He dropped her off at the pier, and she watched him drive away before turning to the shadows. “I know you’re there,” she said.

      He emerged, his footsteps silent. He was tall and slender, his hair black and his skin pale. He had died as a nineteen-year-old, and it was in this form that he was frozen. He would never grow old. He would never fade. His face would never lose its beauty.

      “I’ve been waiting for you,” Caelan said, his voice barely audible over the gentle lapping of the waves.

      “Couldn’t you have found a safer place to wait?” she asked, hooking her thumbs into her pockets. “People like you really shouldn’t be hanging around the waterfront, you know. If you swallow any sea spray, your throat’s going to close up and you’ll die.”

      “And would you be sad?”

      “Sure I would. I once lost a gerbil. I’d imagine the pain would be similar.”

      He moved closer to her. “So I’m your pet, am I?”

      “Of course. You’re my vampire.”

      He was right in front of her now, and he leaned in and they kissed. “And are you my human?” he whispered.

      “So long as you’re OK about sharing me, sure,” she said, and they kissed again.

      His hand went to her face. “I don’t like sharing things.”

      “And I don’t like being called a thing, but life isn’t fair.”

      “You should be mine alone.”

      She gave him a smile. “Have you taken your serum tonight? Because you’re sounding awfully territorial.”

      He stepped back. “The serum is not to be joked about. Without it, I would tear off my skin and devour you.”

      “Sounds tempting, doesn’t it? But I can’t tonight, dear, I’m on babysitting duty, which I’m actually quite looking forward to, and then it’s bedtime.”

      “Then I will remain beside you while you sleep.”

      “My folks would love that,” Valkyrie said with a chuckle. He didn’t smile. “You’re not going to watch me sleep.”

      “I have made up my mind.”

      She looked at him. “Eh, what?”

      “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you, Valkyrie. But you needn’t worry. From this moment on, you are mine to protect.”

      “I’m a little stuck for words here,” she said. “I’m just trying to get my head around it, trying to find the right way to … OK, yeah, I have it now. Caelan, cop on to yourself.”

      He blinked his beautiful eyes. “I’m … I’m only doing this because I care so much. I’m here to protect you.”

      “See, that’s where the problem is stemming from. I don’t need you to protect me. I’m not saying I don’t need protection. My God, the amount of trouble I get into, I could use all the help I can get. But my protection comes from people like Skulduggery, and Ghastly, and China – you know, people who are powerful enough to protect me from the things I can’t protect myself from.”

      “You … think I’m weak?”

      “I think you’re grand. And I acknowledge the fact that you’re a vampire – that’s very impressive. But let’s face it, your real power kicks in when you turn and, unfortunately, when you turn, you tend to forget who’s a friend and who’s a foe, so that’s not a whole lot of use to any of us.”

      “I would never hurt you.”

      “Aw, that’s sweet, but, really, you’d never get that chance. Caelan, you’re not my protector, you’re not my guardian angel and you’re not my boyfriend.”

      His perfect jaw tightened. “But I love you.”

      “Here we go.”

      “When will you admit that you’re in love with me too?”

      “I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall. Look, I like you, OK? I do. I know I shouldn’t, I know it’s a cliché to fall for the bad boy …”

      Caelan frowned. “I’m a bad boy?”

      “But it happened,” she continued, ignoring him, “and that’s it. I think you’re cute. You could probably ease up on the brooding and self-loathing, though – that stopped being attractive a while ago. But I mean, on the whole, I like you, and you like me—”

      “I love you.”

      “Yeah, well …”

      “You make my heart want to beat.”

      “That’s nice and creepy. But I’m with Fletcher.”

      “You’ve been with him for a while now. It doesn’t stop you coming to me.”

      “Yeah, and that makes me feel so much better about it all. I’m cheating on my boyfriend, who is really nice and sweet and hot, and I’m cheating on him because, let’s face it, I’m really not a good person. I’m a cheating girlfriend.”

      “Then never see him again and your conscience will be clear,” he said, taking her hand in his.

      She frowned at him. “But I want to see him again.”

      “If you wanted him, you wouldn’t be with me.”

      “It is possible to want more than one person at the same time, you know.”

      “I only want you.”

      “And you should really get out more.” Valkyrie disentangled herself from him. “Also, all these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of … It’s a bit much, to be honest. Just hold back a little.”

      “But my love for you is eternal.”

      “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

      “I need you. I need to be around you. I’m dead, Valkyrie. I’m dead, but when you’re here, I feel alive. Memories are stirred of a pulse, of breath in my lungs, of life in my heart. The more I’m with you, the more I need. My passion burns …”

      She made a face. “I don’t need to know about your burning passion.”

      “It burns for you, Valkyrie. I’m on fire. My mind is in flames.”

      “Couldn’t we just be each other’s bit on the side?”

      “You love me. I see it in your eyes.”

      “I think you’re mistaking confusion for love.”

      “I love you with everything that is me.”

      “Remember when you were the strong, silent type? Could we go back to that?”

      “It’s too late to go back. You’ve reawakened the old Caelan. Because of you, I remember who I used to be. Because of you, I can push the monster down.”

      “And that is very much appreciated.”

      “Before you, my life was in darkness. It was hollow and empty and cold. But you shone a light through the