Don’t Tell Teacher. Suzy K Quinn

       ‘Yes. Really, I’m fine.’

       ‘Lizzie.’ Olly pulls me close. ‘What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?’

       I shake my head against his chest, tears pressing into his shirt. ‘No. Not at all. The opposite.’

       ‘The opposite?’

       ‘All this for me. I don’t deserve it.’

       Olly laughs then, his big, cheery, confident laugh. ‘You deserve this and much, much more.’ He kisses my head and hugs me for a long time. ‘Okay?’

       I nod. ‘Okay.’

      ‘Let the evening commence!’ He leads me to the table, snatching up a purple napkin. ‘Your favourite colour.’ He grins, opening the napkin with a flourish.

      Purple isn’t really my favourite colour. It’s just the colour of the coat I wear. But I don’t tell Olly that.

      We eat Pringles, sea bass and new potatoes, drink Chardonnay and listen to Joni Mitchell. Then Olly lights a fire.

       ‘I borrowed a Monopoly board,’ says Olly, leading me to the sofa area. ‘Your favourite game, right? And mine too, actually. Come on. You can thrash me.’

      ‘Love to,’ I say.

      ‘Of course, we could play strip poker instead,’ says Olly, flashing his lovely white teeth.

       I’m hit by an uneasy feeling that this evening might be too traditional for Olly. The wine, the fire, the board game. What if he thinks I’m boring?

       ‘I have an idea,’ I say. ‘How about strip Monopoly?’

       ‘Strip Monopoly?’ says Olly. ‘You’re on!’

      We make up a few rules, deciding to lose an item of clothing every time we land on the other person’s property. Then we start playing.

      It doesn’t take long before I’m down to my underwear.

      ‘Are you cheating?’ I accuse, taking off my bra.

       Olly watches me, mesmerised. Then he says, ‘You’re beautiful, do you know that? Hurry up and roll again.’

      ‘It’s your turn,’ I protest.

      Olly struggles out of his clothes, revealing a beautiful toned body and crazy orange tan lines at his wrists and collarbone. Then he stands to remove his underwear.

       ‘Turn taken,’ he announces, standing naked. ‘Now roll again.’

       ‘That’s definitely cheating,’ I laugh, shy now. ‘You can’t take all your clothes off at once.’

       ‘How dare you!’ Olly protests. ‘I am a serious rules-body. Well, if you think the game has been compromised, we’ll just have to abandon it.’

      He lifts me into his arms.

      ‘But you were winning,’ I laugh, as Olly carries me outside to the hot tub.

       ‘I declare it a draw.’

      Olly lowers me carefully into the bubbling water. Then he climbs into the tub himself and slides me onto his lap, arranging my legs so I’m kneeling around his hips.

      ‘I need to learn more of your favourites,’ he says, kissing me fiercely, hand moving up and down between my thighs.

      Snow falls on the warm water and our bare shoulders.

      I moan, but suddenly Olly pulls back.

       ‘Wait.’ He’s breathless. ‘I don’t want to move too fast.’

       ‘It’s fine.’

       ‘You’re sure? Listen, really I can wait. I don’t want this to be some quick thing. You’re more than that to me.’

       I must look upset, because Olly says: ‘Hey. It’s okay. Really. I’ll get you a towel and you can have my bed, okay? I’ll take the sofa.’

       ‘No,’ I insist, gripping his arms. ‘I want this. Honestly, I want this. It’s just … I’ve never felt this way either. I’ve never been … special.’

       ‘You are special,’ says Olly. ‘The most special girl I’ve ever met.’

      He kisses me again and I’m lost.

      We make love in the hot tub and then again on Olly’s bed. He’s gentle at times, firm at others. He’s considerate, but sometimes teeters on the brink of losing control.

      In the morning, Olly makes me waffles covered in syrup and a sugary hot chocolate. Then we have sex again before I sneak back to my chalet to prepare breakfast for my host family.

      While I’m whisking up scrambled eggs, my phone bleeps. It’s a message from Olly: I miss you already.

      I feel soft warmth in my chest, but also anxiety.

      This is amazing. The most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. But how can something like this last? Half the things Olly thinks we both ‘love’, I only like a little bit. Like sea bass, tomato ketchup and syrup-covered waffles with sweet hot chocolate. I’ve exaggerated so he’ll think we have things in common, scared that boring little me isn’t good enough.

       Oh, what does it matter?

      I’m probably just a sexual conquest and Olly will forget all about me in a few days.

      This can’t last.

      It’s too good to be true.

Lizzie

      My chest aches as I run up the stony path. I’ve forgotten Tom’s painkillers. They’re not vital. His migraines are stress-related and he hasn’t had one since we left Olly. But I’d like the school to have tablets to hand just in case.

      You’ll never cope alone.

      Olly’s voice plays in my head sometimes, no matter how hard I try to drown it out.

      Maybe some things you can’t outrun.

      Even when you’re running.

      I reach the school gates, tan-leather handbag bobbing against my side.

      Then I remember the padlock.

      There is an intercom by the wrought-iron gates, so I press it.

      A woman’s voice crackles: ‘Hello? Do you have an appointment?’

      ‘Hi. It’s Tom Riley’s mother. I brought his medicine.’ I peer through the railings. ‘Hello?’ I call again. No one answers.

      The main door is firmly shut, a solid lump of wood. A few early autumn leaves scatter the empty playground, crispy green-orange, some dancing up against the brickwork. I notice again the bars on the windows and bite my lip. Why have bars like that? This is a school, not a prison. And that blacked-out window. What are they trying to hide?

      After a moment, the headmaster himself strides across the playground. He looks earnest. Almost helpful. But I sense another energy too. Something like annoyance.

      ‘Hello, Mrs Kinnock,’ says Mr Cockrun, as he reaches the gate. ‘How can I help you?’

      ‘Um … it’s Riley. And I have Tom’s medicine.’

      ‘Medicine?’