Beyond Desire. Gwynne Forster

her? What was it about her, he mused, that made him lose sight of things that were so important to him? And why couldn’t he have found a way to call a halt to it without making her feel as though she might have done something wrong? He’d been gentle, but he suspected that she’d felt hurt nevertheless. She hadn’t been the one to start that…that heated kiss. He groaned. He didn’t want to think of it. He’d been married, and he had known other women, as well, but he couldn’t recall ever having a woman respond to him the way she had. She hadn’t cared about anything, except her need of him. Only him. He got up and walked around, trying to shake off the sensation, the feeling that her scent and warmth still surrounded him. He had never known a woman like Amanda, but he knew that if ever she was in his arms in his bed, she would give him everything and drive him wild in the process. He swore loudly as the telephone interrupted his woolgathering.

      “Hickson. We’re closed today.”

      “If you’re closed, what are you doing there?”

      “What’s up, Luke?” Luke explained that he’d called Marcus at home and learned from Amanda that he was at the factory.

      “How about meeting me for lunch? River Café all right with you?”

      “Yeah. Twenty minutes.”

      “Why so long? It’s only around the corner from you.”

      “Yeah. Right.” He hung up. He loved his only brother, but he was not keen on seeing him right then. Luke was the most perceptive person he had ever been around and had been able to read him accurately even when they were growing up.

      Marcus didn’t remember having seen River Café almost empty at noon, but this was the first time he’d been in the place on Sunday. The thought that he might be out of step with most of Portsmouth’s working men didn’t give him a feeling of virtuousness; instead, he suddenly felt tired. When would it end? They found their favorite table, sat down and ordered beer.

      “Why are you working on Sunday?” Luke asked. Marcus told him of his conversation with his bank’s president, adding that he regretted having taken out all of his loans with one bank and paying them off would be a Herculean job.

      “Don’t blame yourself, Marcus; our grandfather banked there. If that’s Baldridge’s policy, I’ll move my account. What kind of contingency plans do you have if you can’t make those payments?”

      “I’ve got an order to repair a priceless seventeenth-century harpsichord. As soon as I get all the parts I need, I’ll start on it. I’ve placed orders with master craftsmen in London and Leipzig. When that job is finished and when my suit with the insurance company liable for Amy’s injuries pays up, I’ll be in the clear. Otherwise…” He threw up his hands. “It’s anybody’s guess.”

      “When is the hearing on your claim or have you decided to settle out of court?”

      “I’m going to court, but I’m having trouble getting my suit on the docket.” He added that his lawyer was working on it.

      “Good. I may be able to call in some favors, if you have trouble with it.”

      Marcus nodded his thanks. He looked around for a waitress, saw one who wore a short tight skirt and had streaks of yellow in her black hair, reminding him of Iris Elms. He told Luke of his conversation with her.

      “She’s a source of trouble, Luke.”

      Luke nodded. “I’ll say she is. Have you told Amanda?”

      Marcus shook his head. “No. She almost panicked when I told her the old man might try to take the child. I hate to upset her with this.”

      “I don’t agree with you. That’s a fox in the henhouse. Amanda is that woman’s boss. You have to warn her.”

      “I’ll tell her to watch her back, and I’ll do what I can to protect her, but I’m not going to alarm her unnecessarily.”

      “Yeah. Well, if you need me…” The waitress arrived. Luke ordered pan-fried Norfolk spots (a small sweet fish) with hush puppies, and Marcus settled for Cajun fried catfish, French fries and coleslaw. They each ordered another beer.

      The waitress didn’t seem anxious to leave. Finally she asked, her tone flirtatious, “Anything else?”

      Marcus groaned in disgust, but Luke seemed to think it funny. “Not at noon, honey,” he said, winked and dismissed her. Then he turned to his brother. “What’s eating you, Marcus? And don’t say that nothing is. You can’t even appreciate a little harmless flirtation.”

      “I’m a married man.”

      Luke snorted. “Really? You’ve consummated this marriage? Congratulations. That’s the best news I’ve heard since we got the result of Amy’s operation. By the way, how is Amy?”

      “Amy’s doing great, and my marriage is still one of convenience. Don’t push me, Luke. I’m not in the mood for it.”

      “How are Amanda and Amy getting along?” Marcus had low tolerance for Luke’s meddling, but he knew Luke didn’t care. Lately, his older brother seemed to regard their six-year age difference as a license to interfere in his affairs.

      “They haven’t met.” There was no point in hedging.

      Luke narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t taken Amanda to meet her stepdaughter? Are you out of your mind?”

      “I told you not to push. I’m not going to expose Amy to any unnecessary unhappiness. When this year is up, I’m coming back here, and Amanda will be staying in Caution Point. I don’t intend to have Amy’s heart broken. This marriage is a bargain, and I plan to treat it like one.”

      “I’m astonished that you can live in the house with a woman like that one, talk to her, eat with her, joke and tease with her and keep your hands off of her. You are keeping your hands off her, aren’t you?” It wasn’t a fair question and it irritated Marcus, because Luke knew that he wouldn’t lie.

      “Well, aren’t you?” Marcus knew that his silence was worth a thousand words. Not only had he had his hands on her, but he couldn’t swear that he would refrain from doing it again. He looked at his all-seeing brother and slowly shook his head.

      “She gets to me, Luke, like no other woman I’ve ever known. I know I haven’t given her a fair shake. She gives, and I take. She offers everything, and I’m offering her nothing because I don’t have anything to offer. The only time I’ve felt in control, felt comfortable and at times even contented in this situation was when she fell in the bathtub and needed me. And I was there for her, because I wanted to be, because I needed to be. But I had to back off. She’s carrying another man’s child, and all of a sudden I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t intend for this to be a marriage, but the other night I came pretty close to making it one. I initiated it, but after I got myself in line, I might have made her feel bad. I don’t know. I hope not.”

      Luke laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “And it’s eating away at your conscience. Why are you so afraid to care for her? If you’d talk with her about the circumstances, as I did, you’d be more understanding and less wary. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to tell you this, Marcus, but she was a virgin, a thirty-nine-year-old virgin, and the guy showed so little regard for that fact that she had to be treated in the hospital emergency room. She told me that the night I spent with the two of you, and I checked her story. She got there in bad shape.”

      Marcus brought his head up sharply, as he sucked in his breath, pulled air through his teeth and released a stinging profanity. “Too bad he’s not around. I would have loved to smash his face.”

      “Marcus, go home and look at what you have there. Amanda isn’t a shell of a person like Helena. I told you before you married Helena that she was too self-centered, that she wouldn’t be able to handle the demands of marriage. You loved her, and that was what she wanted—constant admiration. She enjoyed the glamour of being seen with you, of other women envying her. Good-looking woman with good-looking