Past Secrets, Present Love. Lois Richer

brawls.

      “Then you haven’t seen the right ones. Marriage can and should be a true meeting of two minds, not to force one to be like the other, but to complement each other. The wife a blessing to her husband and vice versa.”

      He grinned. “How’d you become such an expert?”

      “Watching my own parents.” Sandra smiled at the memory. “They had this bond that made them complete. I always wanted what they had. Sometimes I felt a little bit left out because their world seemed complete when they had each other. Maybe that’s why I tried so hard to find love, maybe that’s what scared away—” She stopped, peered up at him. “Never mind.”

      “You were going to say that’s what drove him away, weren’t you?” He shook his head. “It isn’t. He was a cheater before you met him, Sandra. Men like that feed on women who trust them. He was a creep. The fact that he made you believe you had to give away your baby only proves it.”

      “He told me she was with a family in California.” She struggled to keep her voice even. “He claimed she had everything a child could need.”

      “Well, we know the Youngs did live in California for a while. You couldn’t have known they’d move back here when she was just a few years old.” He chewed his bottom lip. “For the rest of it—I think Kelly did have everything she needed. She speaks of the Youngs with great love. You must have known them so you’d know how they were with her.”

      “They loved her the way a precious child should be loved.” Sandra sighed. “I couldn’t have chosen anyone better myself.”

      He remained silent a moment, thinking. But he had to prepare her. “That love they showered on her might be what will make it hard for Kelly to accept you as her mother, Sandra.”

      “What do you mean?” Her green eyes grew wide. “How can having loving parents make her hate me?”

      “She doesn’t hate you. But she won’t want to betray them, either. The Youngs are the only family she’s ever known. She was told her birth parents were dead. Loving you, calling you Mom—that might seem like betrayal toward the woman she’s looked up to for so many years.”

      “I don’t want to take away anything Marcus or Carol were to that child! I thank God every day that they were there when I couldn’t be, that they loved her, raised her to trust God. It’s because of them that Kelly is who she is today—a beautiful, strong, caring woman who loves God and gives back to the community.” Sandra gulped. “Of course I wish it could have been me, but God directed otherwise.”

      God again. He bit his lip to stop the question—why hadn’t God straightened out this mess thirty-odd years ago and saved her the heartache?

      “I know you don’t understand my beliefs, Ross. You’re angry on my behalf, and that’s sweet. But I’ve been without my child for many years and I’ve had to learn understanding. God knows what He’s doing. He has a plan that is far bigger than what I see. Maybe I’ll live long enough to find out what it is, but even if I don’t, I still trust Him. He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper and not to harm.”

      Another of her Biblical quotes. How did you argue against faith like that? Ross studied the serenity filling her face and wished he could figure out her attitude. Sandra was the loser in this. She’d missed the special times he was pretty sure most mothers treasured in their secret hearts—first steps, first words, first day at school, first boyfriend, first kiss. All the things his own mother had never given a hoot about.

      Like snowflakes dropping from the sky, the questions filled him. Why hadn’t he been born to Sandra? Why hadn’t her God looked after him, given him a loving home?

      He knew why.

      Because of Trista. His little sister would never have made it if he hadn’t been there to protect her. For her sake he was glad he had been. But that didn’t make the living hell of his past any less brutal. His father was dead, his mother seldom recognized him, let alone cared about him. The only one he had left was Trista.

      “When is Kelly coming to see me?” Sandra’s quiet voice brimmed with barely suppressed delight. “When can we talk?”

      “Kelly promised that if I went to this church social she’ll be attending tomorrow, she’d come to see you after that. I don’t have a specific time yet, but I’ll get one.” He grinned, waggled a finger at her. “A skiing day! The things I do for you, Sandra Lange.”

      “Like dating Kelly is a hardship.” She chuckled. “Puh-leeze.”

      “It’s not a date, it’s…reciprocity.” His face felt hotter than the fire at Kelly’s. “I go with her, she comes here. That’s the deal.”

      “Martyrdom, here comes Ross Van Zandt.” Sandra giggled, then quickly sobered. “I’m not so sure it’s a good thing if you had to bribe her to see me.”

      “It wasn’t a bribe.” He huffed out a sigh. “Will you give it up, Sandra? She’s coming to see you, that’s what you wanted. Isn’t that enough?”

      “Shame on me.” She reached up, touched his cheek with her fingertips in a gentle caress he would never tire of. “Yes, my dear man, it is more than enough. Thank you.”

      “Welcome,” he mumbled, embarrassed by the soft glow of love in her eyes. How could she love him? She didn’t even know him, wouldn’t want to if she did.

      “It’s been a long day. You’re tired and with all you’ve done, who could blame you.” She brushed her palm across his hair, pushed back a lock of hair and patted his cheek. “Go home and get some rest, Ross. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”

      “Yeah, skiing.” He made a face. “I’ll probably end up in the hospital with two broken legs and a concussion. People like me don’t do skiing.”

      “People like you? It’s not the technique, it’s the attitude,” she told him. “Stop expecting the worst. Besides, after that everyone goes to the Morrow mansion.”

      “Oh, goody,” he mocked her. “The Ice Queen in her palace.”

      Sandra stared him down until he wished he hadn’t made the comment.

      “I’m old enough to be your mother, Ross, so let me give you some motherly advice. If you look hard enough, you’ll always find something bad about people. But if you look hard enough, you’ll always find something good, too.”

      “Okay, Mother. I’ll try to see something good in her.”

      She rose, grasped his hand and tugged. Ross stood, would have pulled away, but her hands refused to let go.

      “You’ve done so much for me and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. Finding Kelly—it’s like a dream come true. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful daughter. You gave her to me. You are a man to be proud of, Ross.”

      “Good night, Sandra.” He bent, kissed her cheek, squeezed her hand, then let himself out.

      Immediately, the warmth Sandra always shed was overpowered by the frosty winter night. He shivered, climbed into his car and without warming the engine, headed for home. Home—that was a joke.

      He unlocked the door and stepped inside the miserable apartment. A fax machine, his surveillance equipment—hardly the comforts he’d found in Kelly’s beautiful house. No silky drapes, plush sofas or comfy cushions here. Certainly nothing that would hint at time and attention spent on decorating the space. This was a strictly utilitarian area meant to remind him every time he stepped in it that he was here for one reason only—to reunite Sandra with her long-lost child.