The Secret Father. Anna Adams

the airport, Olivia veered off to return her rental car while Zach parked in a lot. They’d agreed to meet at the ticket counter. Tall and confident as ever, she was easy to spot. Too easy.

      They checked in without talking to each other and then headed for their gate. Walking at her side, he noticed how the other travelers stared.

      Her poise and her flawless face, an aristocratic, elegantly drawn nose, and her intelligent gaze vied with the tousled confusion of long black hair. She drew attention partly because she didn’t seem to know she was suck-the last-breath-from-your-lungs gorgeous.

      Zach had nothing to set on the security conveyor belt, but he waited while Olivia pushed her briefcase and her purse through.

      Her poise made him more aware of his Achilles’ heel. A smart guy would have rejected her offer to arrange for seats together. A smart guy wouldn’t let a self-assured woman who’d been in sole charge of his son for the past five years discover he was afraid of flying.

      They cleared security with more than an hour to wait for their flight. Olivia was already fishing work out of her briefcase as they closed in on their gate. Zach held back. He couldn’t sit there for sixty minutes without throwing up.

      “I’m going to look for a paper,” he said. “And a coffee. Want one?”

      “Sure. With cream and sugar.” Sitting, she pushed a pen behind her ear. “Wait— Will you make that half-and-half?”

      Nodding, he turned, breathing easier the more distance he put between them. How was he going to pretend to be normal on the plane?

      He took his time and passed the coffee shop twice before he turned in. A teenager in a cap and acne came to the counter and threw him a look that asked for his order.

      “A bottle of water.” Last thing he needed was caffeine. “And a large coffee. With half-and-half.”

      “The milk and stuff’s over there,” the kid said. “That’ll be seven-fifty.”

      “Thanks. Do you have newspapers?”

      “Beside the milk and the stir sticks. You pay here. That’ll cost you another fifty cents.”

      Zach paid and tucked the paper beneath his arm. He stirred sugar and half-and-half into Olivia’s coffee and started back to the gate. She didn’t look up until he sat beside her. Even then she just reached for the cup.

      “Thanks.” She sipped. “Perfect. I thought you wanted coffee, too.” She might not be looking at him, but she saw too much for his peace of mind.

      “I reconsidered.” He unscrewed his water bottle’s cap and guzzled half the contents. It didn’t help.

      Olivia checked the time. “We’ll be boarding soon. Maybe we should discuss what we intend to tell Evan.”

      “Discuss what?” He felt his face harden. “There’s no argument. We tell him who I am.”

      “From the start? What if you change your mind?”

      He stared at her. Who did she see when she looked at him? “Did you ever change your mind about wanting Evan?”

      She let her mouth open slightly, showing surprise. The moisture on her full lower lip made breathing a little harder for Zach.

      “You can’t appreciate what you just said.” The joy in her smile made him glad, whatever it was. “I’m never sure I’m the best mom Evan could have. I have to work. He spends time in day care. Even my father assumed I wouldn’t want to be a mother when I was so young, but you assumed I never considered an alternative.”

      His throat went tight. For a moment, it was as if he could almost remember her, as if the feelings they’d shared were there, on the fringes of what felt real to him now. “Maybe I can’t imagine you not wanting to keep our son.”

      She widened her gaze. “Well, you’d be right.” As if the subject had grown too personal, she busied herself with the pages in her lap.

      “You’re uncomfortable discussing your pregnancy with me.”

      She nodded. “It’s all still as real as if it just happened to me, but to you I’m a stranger. I loved being pregnant, feeling Evan grow, even though I—” She stopped, her face pink with a blush. “I missed you.”

      “I was angry for a long time about what happened, but I thought I was getting over it.” He wiped his mouth, his resentment an old, no-longer-welcome partner.

      “Why did they give you so much training for one mission?” She was thoughtful. He was surprised she hadn’t asked before.

      He glanced at the empty seats around them. “I was assigned to do that kind of work from then on, but I was chosen for that flight because Kimberly Salva was a friend.” His whole body seemed to tighten as he pictured Kim, idealistic, smarter than he’d ever be, full of fire for her own career. “We went to the Academy together.”

      Olivia drew back. “I don’t mean to pry, but you’re angry when you talk about her. You were just friends?”

      He nodded. “She was a year behind me. I’m angry because I lost her. She had a husband and a two-year-old daughter, and she trusted me.”

      “And you’re not over it yet?”

      He considered lying. His own child’s mother deserved the truth. “Maybe I never will be. I get to meet my son. Her daughter will never see her again. It’s not fair that I lived when I couldn’t save her.” Olivia’s scratching pen drew his gaze. She was outlining the same abstract, many-pointed doodle so hard the page looked ready to tear. “Are you having second thoughts?”

      “No.” But her glossy black hair hid her face from him.

      “I’m not going to hurt Evan. I only lose control with people who want to kill the citizens I’m trying to protect.”

      “You’re joking, but people don’t make jokes like that without a little bit of honesty.”

      He curved his hand around her wrist, making sure to touch only where her black blazer covered her skin. “I’m telling you the truth. I wouldn’t hide anything that might affect Evan. I’ve explained my problems with Helene. I don’t want you and me to have difficulties. I’m a good father to Lily, and I’ll be a good father to Evan.”

      “I should have seen you with her. Not seeing you together was a mistake.”

      “I didn’t tell her,” he said.

      “Thanks.” She sagged against her chair, clearly deep in thought about how much fathering a wounded man could do. He couldn’t keep assuring her of his reliable mental health. He’d start to sound crazy. A sudden thought brought Olivia upright again. “What if Lily or Helene find out about Evan through the papers?”

      “They won’t. Helene doesn’t read them, and I never saw her watch the news.”

      “What if someone else tells her?”

      “Leland—her husband—is a reasonable guy. He’ll figure out the facts and hold Helene back until I get in touch. He won’t let her say something hurtful to Lily.”

      “You trust her new husband more than you trust her?”

      “We didn’t know each other when we got married.” How well had he known Olivia?

      She turned away, leading him to believe she’d experienced broken trust. With a painful start, he realized he’d taught her that lesson. She’d trusted him.

      “I didn’t mean to leave you,” he said.

      “Your amnesia makes it no easier for me. I tell myself over and over that you won’t just abandon Evan, but if you’re not good to him, I’ll—”

      Ahhh. He understood rage. Though she sputtered to a halt, her vehemence drew him closer.

      The